At a dinner party, what is the polite way to excuse yourself if you pass wind?

kiwi in oz

'pardon me' usually goes a long way, along with an apology. Better, if you know you are about to break wind simply say excuse me and leave the table. When you return and are asked why you left there is a good chance your response of I had to break wind will be met with giggles laughter and thanks for leaving the room. Dec 20 02, 2:53 AM

Rey	Say, 'Damn chili', then continue eating. Dec 20 02, 4:46 AM

Son of The Household Cavalry

I am a ventriloquist so the chap across the table appears to apologise Dec 20 02, 8:07 AM

Friar Tuck

Leave the room and not come back for seven years according to http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s364725.htm Back in the 1500s, the then Earl of Oxford (Edward de Vere) deeply embarrassed himself with a badly-timed fart. John Aubrey wrote of this event in Brief Lives. 'This Earl of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went travel, 7 years. On his return the Queen welcomed him home, and said %91My Lord, I had forgot the fart' '. Dec 20 02, 8:12 AM

Guru???

According to Rowan Atkinson in Not the Nine O'Clock News it was deemed a compliment to pass wind in Belgium. Dec 20 02, 8:36 AM

Laddo

Grin widely and shout 'And there's plenty more where that came from!' Dec 20 02, 8:59 AM

Senior Moments

If you had prior knowledge of an impending release of flatulence, it would depend if there are candles on the table as retiring to a safe distance or at least warning others so they could would be preferable. If this is not feasible, then having a fire extinguisher handy and using it swiftly would impress the others. Dec 20 02, 2:01 PM

fpgjc

in Church or Chapel let it rattle ! Dec 20 02, 2:14 PM

sequoianoir

I'm an even cleverer ventriloquist so the chap across the table appears to FART ! Dec 20 02, 2:15 PM

fpgjc

The perpretrator asks the question ' more cake vicar ? ' in a loud voice to try and deflect the accusing looks !! Dec 20 02, 2:31 PM

Eager beaver

Depending on the company - declare louldy 'breathe deeply folks - it will go away {quicker';o))} Dec 20 02, 5:05 PM

Buffy

I have been to a dinner party with sequoianoir when this happened. I am afraid only he thinks he can through a fart. It was at a nudist colony annual Stand-up Finger Buffet, when it happened, and you could see his lips move. Dec 20 02, 5:58 PM

sequoianoir

Buffy? 'through a fart'? What have you been drinking? The same no doubt as that evening at the nudist colony buffet ! I'm surprised you could see anything that night since you spent most of it sprawled out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, crying out for the room to stop spinning round ! Dec 20 02, 6:38 PM

Linus

My brothers (who are world experts in the field of passing wind) tend to find the phrase 'Better out than in!' endlessly comical. Dec 20 02, 8:59 PM

Kainantu

When someone does it say, 'Gee, with a little bit more choke on that you could have kick started a Jumbo jet.' Dec 21 02, 10:01 PM