satguru 
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A little essay today, how much freedom do we really have? If you start with a scenario when you're not working, and fulfilled all your other obligations for now, how much else is up to you? Firstly for me I have realised regardless of how much it seems I am free there are various guides which however much I seem to have options in the end if I don't do them I will miss out. Take the road signs as the example. If the ones I needed are 50 miles away I can either not take them and never get that type in my collection or realise if that's where they are then sooner or later (as I did last week) I have to go there. We have many bosses in life and circumstances are one of them. Secondly our health, as I need to go when I feel fit enough and that's not the whole time either any more. So currently I'm at least down to a single required trip, determined by the national grid map which has drawn a line 40 miles east of London only accessible by driving round the coastline. Unlike the signs that won't disappear but just a question of when and not if, again the health and other demands on me determining when I am free to go, although not really free or I wouldn't care if I did or not.
That cleared up, the other thing we can only aim to be free of is politicians. They make rules for themselves, and if lucky enough to be part of the few who benefit then great, otherwise we're all off to you know where. So currently all I can do is spend the money I have on what I want despite being pushed way up by tax increases as it's about priorities. I decide to spend on my own interests and then save on other areas. When they charged to drive through London I had to find ways round it either at weekends when free or massive detours. In the end nearly all we do is reactive, we react to what we like doing (not our choice but inbuilt), and then all the barriers in life which stop it. We react to our own drives when not actually working to pay for them, and then restricted by other people who don't actually comply with our wishes to ask them out, do us favours or go where we want to with us. I have devised a partial system to beat it, which is basically a list of aims and options, and once the aims are complete the rest is optional, pretty much like a self-chosen retirement.
By now I've done enough of the things many others do all their lives to see the alternatives are usually better. I spent two decades going to every show and cinema going until I had enough, and sampled the continents until the effort involved outweighed any benefit of the experience, often based far more on the people I met than the places, as I could go to a place more than once and be totally different, with the bottom line being it had to be pretty good before I'd not rather be having my holiday at home. There's more than enough to do right here, again mainly based on the people around me than anything else, and at least I have now found my priorities and happy with them.
I could go on now about the outside world but value my sanity too much for now. |
Reply #1001. Jun 17 12, 6:35 PM
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satguru
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While I'm here I'll continue yesterday's theme and see what happens. So far besides the football tomorrow night and the ex coming I can pretty much do what I like. That means please god if I feel like the long trip I will get it out of the way and don't really mind about the football especially as the ex is guaranteed to call in the middle and lose time going to pick her up. Besides the other trips I did first I did plenty of other things in between, and as my latest lesson said you get here despite the mistakes you make, not because of them. We haven't really lost that much, and the memory of what we did is usually far worse than what actually happened.
So I'm leaving it as an open book, some weeks I've had one day available and one none, so any unpredictables by their nature won't be known till they arrive, and I listed those potentials yesterday. And you always do other demanding things more easily if only focused on doing a single one instead. I feel like I've waited long enough for this job though and just want to get it out of the way and have the rest of the time to do as I please. I don't make the rules. |
Reply #1002. Jun 18 12, 3:26 PM
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satguru
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Having done so little today (as my ex had to remind me) imposing it on others is probably even worse than experiencing it, but I don't think blogs are supposed to be selective, like a diary more than a soap opera where only the interesting bits are shown. On the plus side I did get the hoover bags before the cleaner arrived, have checked virtually all my negatives for stray photos and seen the football besides what ended up being 15 minutes (no goals missed) collecting the ex from the bus stop. All of this is clearly a lesson to go with whatever flow there is, and has got me most of what I intended besides those things which require other people.
The rest of the week will be the same, no obligations yet and only my energy level between me and my last photo trip. I'm sure if I used the time to meditate more I'd improve outside of the sheer cack going on outside, the news which just carries the lesson not to take any notice of what hasn't happened and isn't real. What thank goodness is real is my photo album with twice as many old red triangle signs, albeit one with a piece missing, which took me 4 1/2 years to get hold of after all that time searching. So that's my continuing lesson from life, don't expect my plans to be done when I want but when they are allowed to. And enjoy the rest of the time when I'm doing whatever else I am. That includes numerous calls to the radio telling them my now complete political view of the world, and of course each time I mentioning it most people won't have heard it before, and could carry on the rest of my life until it becomes common knowledge adding one new person at a time. From them maybe a few will do the same, and the slow chain reaction will eventually pass the information widely enough for the people to stop it happening. As only a psychotic would want to lose their freedom then that is a certainty, everyone else won't let it happen once they see how the tricks are done. |
Reply #1003. Jun 19 12, 5:11 PM
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satguru
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Had I not read spiritual teachings I'd have imagined some curse on me, having aimed for the map square NE of mine twice now, the first was thwarted by miles of traffic while yesterday, after finding it was both possible to drive into it plus get the one next door as well. The road maps rarely showed any on what is called marshes but now farmland, so when I found there were roads there, including one which reached them both then off I went. The only larger scale map was printed off the internet as you'd probably have to visit WH Smiths in Southend to get a printed one, and was illegible so I had to colour in the roads I needed. Unfortunately it turned out when I got home there were more, as I turned right as required and ended up in a field, didn't know why and as there was a road to the next square I clearly still needed to the south a couple of miles away I kept going and used that instead. Only when I got home it turned out there were two crossroads within half a mile and I needed to turn right (not visible on my printout) and left again to get to that square. So having reached the second one as was a single road with nothing off it went home to find I'd stopped 500 yards or so short of the other one. There is no other point to get it as the sea then takes over for 15-20 miles so am going to do the identical trip again now.
There are lessons there, firstly that I was guided away from it but didn't come back empty handed as that would have been a serious punishment with no lesson. Then (using my teaching formulas) I have to look at why I was stopped from getting there. My guess was that I had originally decided to stop my photo trips as that would have pretty well completed everything within reason and any more would be when I felt like it. I wonder now if I'll add one or two more quickly as the map extension is not connected with the map squares as you can get them simply by reaching the line at the edge of yours as I did and going no further (four are on the coast so can't go any further as it happens) while each square is big enough meaning you can only use a few and spread out twice as far. If you use a transparent grid on your map you can see how few minimum squares you can fit in, and my 7 (or even 8 as it was yards away) currently fit into 3. The way you can imagine is the real figure is based on the maximum distance between your furthest trips. The shortest for 8 would be 89 miles diagonally and 45 at right angles for the other side, meaning the bare minimum of you had 8 map squares would have two points 89 miles apart. Mine is a little more as you need to stretch out to avoid the sea to the south, but get the picture. However you can have only two squares and if you have one point in the top corner of one and another in the bottom corner of the next you've got a gap of about 138 miles. Therefore the real figure is the distance between your two furthest points, where they fall is totally down to chance unless you deliberately do what many of us do and collect them as soon as we can and then do the others if we feel like it.
So I didn't lose it all as until now could only get one square at a time as they didn't meet (besides a local one I also missed the first time but near enough to return the next day), but because of the sea means I have to make the identical lousy journey through 30 miles of traffic lights before I can get the final square, and presumably if I do take a slightly different route off the main road to at least add some more material rather than one extra mile at the end. I've always been extremely motivated and hate loose ends, and this felt exactly like failing an exam (something I am so familiar with it's like breathing to me) and having to resit to graduate. The work involved is almost as much, besides no need to revise, but I was there the whole afternoon as what used to be an easy run is now like driving through London from end to end. So the next lesson is to carry on regardless, and just know I still need to drive to Essex at some time. But I won't know the final part of the lesson until I've done it.
Otherwise I have no special plans, if I'm in the mood there's a trip I can do on Monday which does add distance to my overall coverage (yesterday's didn't very much) which is what people actually see on the map directly rather than having to look at your square count under it. The wide spreads of red on the green look the best and catches the eye, while a compact blob which just manages to spread over the sides of a square looks just like that. But the overall lesson as always is to make lemonade from the lemons or the bitterness will destroy you. |
Reply #1004. Jun 21 12, 7:52 PM
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satguru
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Another day another cliche. Nothing new to report as I go to my mum on Fridays so little chance to add anything else besides shopping or gardening beforehand. I'm planning my next trips timetable and will report when completed, it's not the end of the world, I've messed up far more in the past (exams mainly) and compared to resitting them travelling to Essex is hardly a punishment. Actually without the traffic it wouldn't be too bad, which is what it was like as recently as 2003.
Otherwise it's business as usual, and looking back on the week have still made a profit, and my books say every problem is a learning situation and I hope I am, even without realising it most of the time. I knew the one you can't plan for everything long ago, and there is no solution for it as it contains the absence of a solution in its proof. How it operates is only a matter of scale, so of course the size of project is proportional to the size of cockup. I admit I've never needed a satnav before, and although it would have avoided the missing square issue I would never have needed it again, simply as I wasn't planning to visit any others (the sea is where the 9th would be) and wouldn't need such precision for any other reason. OK, I may have benefitted for my 4th square last year but that was about 20 miles away and just returned the following day. But the second lesson is we can always do better looking back, but that is just the flip side of being impossible to plan it all in advance, and planning after the event is a benefit only if travelling in a tardis.
I could go on but I'm beginning to bore myself now. |
Reply #1005. Jun 22 12, 5:42 PM
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satguru
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Where was I? Interestingly enough if one person believes in something they're mad, if a million people do it's a religion. Now I've been saying for a couple of years now my life is guided, and rather than being accused of madness one by one other people are telling me exactly the same thing is happening to them. It's a two part formula, first notice it's happened and then recognise it after that. Once you get enough evidence things could never have happened like a film script without a scriptwriter (currently unknown) everything is random. But it clearly can't be. Even the bad stuff as that is another lesson, not always known but there either way.
Reaching 52 I am getting tired, and although the official retirement age is 65 (to be 68 when I am I 65 think) I want to retire from such lessons as I'm basically worn out. Mentally if not physically. I have reached almost the peak of the mountain and would now like the remainder to be travelling downwards. Not Essex or really anywhere else I am required to be for my missions in life. No teacher, for whoever is sending me these lessons has to be one, gives their pupils too much to do or they fail. So far it's true all the disasters appear to have left me no more damaged than most, but have just reached the point where it feels like enough. I can but hope.
Anyway, those who notice similar things in their lives will know exactly what I'm talking about, and everyone can look and maybe see it happening to them as well. All I can say is at least nothing can ever come close to the stress of exams, and having resat almost half of mine to compound the pain doubt any other experience since can match those as your whole life depends on the outcomes. |
Reply #1006. Jun 23 12, 6:16 PM
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satguru
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Having written about guidance last night, before I went to bed I did one of my regular road sign searches, but this time used totally different search terms as none raise the same ones as people label them all differently. Half way down was one I needed and it was a couple of miles away on a road I'd probably checked and still missed it. I've got one already but with a corner missing, this was perfect but missing the red triangle on top, but now I have an example in one piece. Otherwise I'm planning two more trips when I can, one being the repeat of the one last week of course, and whatever else happens or not will then retire.
England meanwhile took up the whole evening, as expected going to penalties, and inevitably losing as they nearly always do. No more football now besides when I go and watch it myself locally. Whatever does or does not happen though it's clearly mostly beyond my own control. If it was to get me even more than I'd get otherwise I'd be very happy, but that remains to be seen. |
Reply #1007. Jun 24 12, 4:24 PM
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satguru
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I'll talk about parallel paths today, as that's been my own recent experience. When you set your sights on a mission and then can't do it for whatever reason, and only get chances to repeat every so often it tends to preoccupy until completed. As I said before, thank god it's not exams. The years of summers spent trying not to think too much about the following day, and unlike taking photos not getting the results for weeks, followed by another month if you failed and had to do one or two again. When will I go? When the system (ie the one mad people like me sometimes believes in, a growing number)says so basically. Even sleeping makes a huge difference as if I can't sleep I rarely get up in time to do much, and have absolutely no control over that. I'll soon have to learn to make lemonade out of crab apples...
Meanwhile watching the news now in a detached way it is cack. Total and utter cack. People and countries borrow money, can't pay it back, and then the government gives the banks money to lend more. Yes, cause a problem, suffer the consequences, and then offer more of the same. And these people are in charge of the world. Of course the bankers do very well from it but now they're bailed out they're doing it with our taxes. So I just get on with it and do my bit to inform people that if they realise what's really going on they'll stop voting for it. Low interest rates, paid only between banks while they charge everyone else the same as usual and savers far less, making a massive markup on every transaction. Who knows that? And what does 'sustainable development' mean? Population reduction. Don't take my word for it, it's published in a report of the Club of Rome. Once you decode the spin it's nasty. And no one sane would dream of voting for a party who'd guarantee power cuts and car bans. And that's EU law. |
Reply #1008. Jun 25 12, 3:28 PM
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satguru
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I've just taken some lemons and made lemon cake as well, and on top of a third trip east it was the first one without traffic, seems it's all or nothing and it was clear from dual carriageway 1 in London all the way east. I covered the intended route from last week and then curved north a mile or so and west on a parallel road to add to my coverage before returning home. My only two more trips are for fun, and possibly next planned for Sunday. But my map now has all eight squares covered and as the next nearest is Peterborough doubt I'd waste an afternoon on that dire journey, while any others may require a train as I did in the past. Before I could drive it was all there was (plus the Green Line buses) and in the holidays my mother dropped me at the station on the way to work and I picked a name and bought a ticket. They were always north as I was usually dropped at Kings Cross, so Peterborough and Wellingborough, followed by the bus to Bedford via Luton (plenty of train tickets, the main reason to go while they were still produced), and then Witham in Essex and Southend via the underground link no longer possible from Kentish Town.
Almost 40 years later I have revisited many of the routes I'd taken in the 70s and 80s for train tickets, and besides tickets didn't take the camera with me, until they stopped doing them and I then did sometimes just to take pictures of the stations I passed and some of the scenery. And in the late 90s the video camera followed. Not that I noticed the old road signs till 2008 or could have had many more times the photos I have now. But there's always something new to do on the road and one way or another I've recorded the geographical features one way or another starting with my first camera in 1968. Imagine having digital then, and so many people on the mapping site said the same thing about the travelling they did with no camera. I have many but a tiny fraction of what digital would have provided, and although I can cover any area I want it won't look the same as it did back then. |
Reply #1009. Jun 28 12, 10:45 AM
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satguru
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I do pretty well feel like I'm retired now, and will no longer feel guilty for wandering around locally as I've completed all the places around my map square, and the rest is for fun. My scanner jammed last night and unlike before hasn't freed itself. I have a new one in another room for my photos, but would like to fix this and not carry one in and out for a scanning session unless forced to. I do have a trip planned for Sunday, but now none need to cross London to get there as my directions are optional, not for each square in every direction on the map. What will happen next in my newly found free time remains to be seen, I have a few friends I've neglected I'll work through gradually, Grace is different as she's round the corner but no others are left from the old days as if they're still speaking to me they're either abroad or out of London now. Not that they visit me much either so the inconvenience is clearly mutual.
I am definitely going to meditate a lot more now as that's the only route upwards for me, and if that works everything else is better regardless as you are improving yourself inside so outside isn't so important. I can also spend more time spreading my fraud material to expose how the world is really working, until so many people know it can no longer happen. Having studied criminology I'm not just a.n. other amateur journalist but thank goodness sufficiently qualified the publishers may actually read it once among 1000 or more sent.
So I do have a general direction I'm now aiming in, and the fruit remains to be seen, no more lemons though if possible, healthy but painful. |
Reply #1010. Jun 29 12, 4:57 PM
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satguru
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As it's been the same day for some years now I remembered the school reunion must be today, but the last 10 years or so had very few there with me, so expected little and didn't bring the camera. To start with it was almost deserted and only the same two people there as usual, and then recognised another and said hello after 38 years. She said had I seen so and so opposite, and I said as I hadn't seen them since maybe their teens or 20s didn't recognise them as they are now, and one by one each pointed me to another till about a dozen people the year below me were identified. I spoke to another (she had barely changed since then while another had aged 50 years almost overnight) who said her son was leaving this term and wanted a reunion where her friends were there while she was still connected so rang them all and made sure they came. Everyone else took photos and said will be emailed round us, and nearly all were totally decent and interesting, and am even more in love with one than the day I arrived and first saw her. I hadn't spoken to her since I left mainly as I told her due to shyness (it has that effect, I thought she'd blow me out) but she was really nice and friendly, and it had taken me 38 years to find out. She lives abroad now but have given her my email so hope we keep in touch.
I have the next trip planned, hopefully tomorrow or so, and the first not essential to a collection. And no urban areas on the way or even many traffic lights. And I missed the school photo as they took one every other easter, and I didn't last that long. This will be the closest I've got. |
Reply #1011. Jun 30 12, 7:13 PM
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satguru
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I am currently waiting on and relying on three people with photos of yesterday, especially the group ones of us all together. Nothing yet but one person is currently on a plane or in an airport so that will wait, and the other has to find me on Facebook if she remembers. Just a quiet day today but hoping the main trip to be tomorrow, and will prepare everything to make it possible. I did get a call to the radio where the very experienced presenter (we've spoken since the 80s) didn't know why oil companies would profit from climate change (most presenters there know the lot already so he couldn't have communicated with them on that) so I have now put him right. Most people haven't a clue, but he's a journalist with 30 years experience and a degree in it, so really needs to check behind all the subjects he presents in. But if he discovers one or two issues to be totally different to what he thought (as I did over a decade ago) he may be a good advocate once he follows the thread.
That's the usual way to change the world, one person at a time. One new soul is a miracle when it comes to changing their minds. |
Reply #1012. Jul 01 12, 2:49 PM
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| lesley153
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Just watched the most wonderful presentation by Christopher Monckton in Arizona (posted on faceboook/YouTube). It was very well received and may have won a few new fans.
Reply #1013. Jul 01 12, 3:54 PM
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satguru
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There is a clear sense of rare genius, and Monckton is a prime example. He has a mind (and heart) the size of a planet, and the patience of a saint. He's had dreadful health problems and still comes back and travels the world as he genuinely wants to help and has the means to do it. He's an example to everyone and of course all the sods try and destroy him as they realise he has the ability to show them for who they truly are. It's a heck of a long road as all we really have is him, Piers Corbyn and Nigel Lawson at the moment who are working extremely hard with very few resources, but they have truth on their side which is priceless.
After my completion of the map square project, it is technically possible with two journeys of around 60 miles in each direction so hardly impressive for coverage. That can be 170 miles or so while still occupying two squares due to the rules of geometry, and the real criterion is simply the longest distance between your two maximum points. That project is at my leisure, and only had two reasonable offered, one completed yesterday just north of Southampton, adding 10 miles or so to my personal total distance. It started raining after about half an hour and oddly stopped when I needed to take photos most of the time, and started as soon as I got back to where I had them already. It was still dark and some rain marks but only the exception. The next trip is planned just to be before about September for the light, and one I've done many times.
It's still raining and set for a while so not that there was anywhere I needed to go I'm busy indoors anyway. I haven't heard from anyone with the school photos (when I went to another local reunion in a pub for a few minutes as I got the day wrong theirs were up the next morning) and really don't want to start sending messages. As long as I get the group one I'll be happy but how long does it take (OK they have jobs so probably longer than I would)? I'm sure plenty of other things will turn up now to occupy me and the major point is I'll no longer feel guilty wandering around locally as there's barely a corner left uncovered since I set out early last year to conquer the map. Maybe if I had a big saloon car again I'd do one or two up the motorway north like I used to, or borrow one with or without a driver up towards Coventry which isn't that long as non-stop motorway and probably quite a bit shorter than yesterday's was.
Now the blooming boiler needs seeing to... |
Reply #1014. Jul 03 12, 1:01 PM
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satguru
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Technically today is my first free day of my new found freedom. Having completed all surrounding map squares and extended my maximum distance I can now relax. Yesterday was the first one, but had to add the remaining photos and was raining so nowhere to go out until I collected the ex and did my shopping on the way back home after dropping her off. After a phone call re my knackered boiler (I now have what I consider the equivalent of defusing a bomb) I was told how to repair it myself. That's £95 saved if I do, so quite an incentive.
My scanner is now almost ready for its barmitzvah (around the new year) but when it jammed this time it jammed for good. Apparently you can open it (oh yeah, with no manual or advice) and it ought to free itself, but as I have a new one have brought that in and will now work my way through the awaiting photos and then go for a walk. As my experience is things are guided then I am just going with any flow and seeing where it takes me. I do find it hard to believe three people won't send me their photos, especially as one was a group one we all had to email the photographer for a copy. Having experienced what can only be compared with an equestrian's rear end many times in the past nothing would surprise me however nice they were to my face. I would like a little more trust in my fellow man, particularly as these characters have no reason to use said rear end and defecate on me 38 years after I last spoke to many of them, surely as I did them no harm they have no reason to do so but a rectum has no heart, if the mixture of metaphors can survive the assault on them to that level.
Otherwise I have the usual things I do when I'm free lined up (not Grace, please!, my nerves would like to recover before another fascinating evening opposite a living doll [looks and brains alike] struggling to maintain a waking state. I'd like my break to last a little longer before normal life takes over somewhat, and that alone will be enough for today if so. |
Reply #1015. Jul 04 12, 10:10 AM
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| lesley153
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Of course - where are my manners? - kudos to Corbyn and Lawson too. May their words be worth a hundred of everyone else's.
Does this mean I may not need to buy a hat after all?
Reply #1016. Jul 04 12, 11:16 AM
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satguru
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Grace is a work in progress. If we're in a house together it's fine as long as we've got something to do- computer, gardening, TV etc. It's on the phone I see the bare lack of conversation potential, her company can be reasonable and I suppose if we were married there wouldn't be that much need to have phone calls. She has too many good qualities to reject without an alternative though. Only time will make the decision, but when I see her now it's all testing to see what it would be like all the time.
As George from Seinfeld or anyone else with a bit of practical logic would do:
For:
Appearance
Decent person
Will take care of me
Against:
Lack of conversation
What will she do when I see other friends, join in or switch off?
Lack of interest in anything intellectual.
It's a toughie, and as I get older my age weighs more and more towards the positives as it would. |
Reply #1017. Jul 04 12, 6:07 PM
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| lesley153
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Have you (n)ever seen other people when she's been with you?
Reply #1018. Jul 04 12, 7:26 PM
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satguru
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I have but it's usually been in groups, oddly the one person I know she gets on with is the ex, and they can chat away about who knows what while I disappear and leave them to it. In a party she's there but can't remember her speaking much, but it's when it's pretty much two couples the test comes and as we've never been a couple that's going to be the one. Otherwise she either tagged along with her sister when I was seeing here and they just argued in Arabic more than anything else (their first language) so little use for me, or with me when we go out or her family. Every other girlfriend (besides a shy one who talks a lot but not with strangers) would come with me to my friends and carry on the conversation with everyone else. I can't actually visualise her doing that, which wouldn't just quash things with me at home but whenever we went visiting. That's a lot of areas unless I'm imagining things worse than they are.
My new era is letting life unfold. Besides one or two really demanding trips I can do but needn't I am now back doing local photography as I've done all the rest I can get to already. My first trip was today, I realised the old railway line now a long rural walk in urban London hand't been covered on one half, and went there and walked the south half and back which is an hour. The views were amazing and got a nice set of photos, and when I went to the community centre I used to work in afterwards they had the only local paper I like available free, after all our other free ones are now not free. How about that? I would have had a coffee but as I only had my bag carried in weather too warm for a jacket forgot to top up the cash but was far too late for it to be open for food so couldn't anyway.
I then returned and besides watching what was on TV called up the radio as they wanted to know something about economics and politics I knew about and he is still thanking me half an hour later for explaining it all so clearly. It also means another of my little known items has become public in the hands of someone able to spread it widely on the radio. There was a programme the other day about archives of suburban London which I missed but on tonight, and a few minutes in recognised a house which turned out to be where I lived for 28 years. How about that?
So things are indeed unfolding although each day I have no idea how. It's not I've given up the long photo trips but there's no more spaces left on the map without hiring a chauffeur. So I have to do other things, I don't have many local friends left as I've said for a while, so can't socialise much at the moment, but things seem to turn up when I need them either way, and the less you try the easier it seems to happen. |
Reply #1019. Jul 05 12, 8:29 PM
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satguru
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One thing I need to do is to stop the times when I drift off the path of activity and wonder what I'm going to do next, but living alone that can happen at any time unless there's a major project on, and mine was fun but tiring to keep on much longer. Looking outside the news is standard part complete, Andy Murray reaching the first Wimbledon final for 74 years and the banks now being investigated for fraud (believe me, what they did is as the definition is obtaining financial advantage by deception knowing you are doing so). That will take over a year but the major element is not the banks as finding they're crooks is like finding out Tom Jones is Welsh, but the many diverse statements they were acting on government orders. That will be news. So two days re the tennis (plus our first men's doubles finals since 1966 tomorrow as well), and the law can run its course but knowing the police do take it seriously is reassuring as they don't work for anyone but themselves unless blocked by the mafia.
The theories proposed for how our lives work are as varied as the people in them, but keep reading and most end up roughly agreeing, there is a system and the more you trust and accept it the better things get. The religions teach it, the old schools teach it and the current money making systems all teach a version of it. The outside world is meant to reflect the inside world, change ourselves and the changes are reflected outside as we create it by choice not random, like a lucid compared to a normal dream. My personal ability is passive creation, where besides taking exams accept nearly everything else happens whether you try and make it or not. All we do is turn up and the flip side is if you don't turn up in one place you are where you are already, and something will still happen there. So for example had I not gone to the school reunion that would not be within my experience, but whatever else I did would be, and may be equally interesting or better. You can't assume one will be and one won't be, many of my best experiences have been right here at home, or any of the previous ones.
So even my photo trips were limited by outside forces such as traffic, tiredness and maps, and not all ended up where intended, some needing to be repeated. So in theory we could sit here and visualise what we really want and then just see it happen. It's not cheating as if we do it anyway but really badly we'd just be learning to navigate. Grace is an example, I've met thousands of women by now being single 20 years longer than everyone else, and she's the only one left I haven't booted out. Officially sensible people tell me to get out and meet others, but when I have they've never stuck. I may ask some out, but apart from my last proper girlfriend none since have accepted. Not a single one. So meet them I do, but that's the limit of my own influence. So whether I've cocked up the control system or there's a better one doing it for me instead (which seems more plausible now) she may be there for a damn good reason. It's like if your dog started reciting Shakespeare, it's unlikely but you never quite know what someone may really be capable of if the brakes are lifted.
Really that goes for life itself. There are so many areas I feel are almost blocked, the news and women for me in particular. I have learnt that insiders discover the truth in scandals years before the public catch up, so the bank being proved to have fiddled interest rates 7 years ago hasn't just been discovered, it's just been released. The same goes for them all, if you have the internet now the evidence (and a few actual confessions) is all there, and we can all become insiders as a result. That has been where my nature led me, and the blockage is in the exposure as every day the mafia operate we all lose more money.
So I think those who feel the brakes are on in any field would like them off, but how? I am guessing the theories mentioned are probably behind it, but if we could operate such power ourselves it would be like the Greek gods. Except they're not working now either. |
Reply #1020. Jul 06 12, 5:42 PM
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