Cymruambyth 
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David, I don't believe you are an old misery for not liking crowded parties, especially crowded parties with people you don't know well. If you are an old misery for that reason, then so am I, and, I suspect, several of the others around here.
Like you, I'd rather spend my time doing something that satisfies me, or hanging out with people who stimulate me and whose company I enjoy.
I really like your blog and the stream-of-consciousness style you use in writing it.
Reply #201. Sep 08 10, 1:03 PM
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satguru
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| Thanks Cym, much appreciated. I've done all the busy stuff already and moved on to being content where I am, especially if with people around (and cats). I try and make an effort and accept a few invitations as I'd hope others would mine, but do get easily tired now and have to spread myself carefully and really can't be bothered explaining to each one my problems and then get them thinking I'm funny. I will if forced to but people rarely think of you the same way when they've known you for ages and then changed. I can never be 100% certain I won't be avoided when people think I've 'got problems', it can put some people off. If I have a few people around me who understand and don't mind I'll be fine but that'll take some doing... |
Reply #202. Sep 08 10, 2:00 PM
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satguru
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You can have the day from heaven or hell, today has been the day from nowhere. I had a really last resort photo trip locally, it poured with rain as soon as I left then a woman who won't get off the phone called and talked all the way there and still on when I got home, and had to carry the damn phone in one hand when trying to take photos. The house I wanted to take had just been destroyed by builders so no longer was an original modernist, and drove around a few other roads just to salvage the journey, including an unnecessary traffic jam as I went the wrong way round the block at the end.
There is a 4 hour stretch of TV now (tends to happen like that) and fitting in this during the ad breaks, and pretty well run out of ideas and inspiration at the moment. I've already done quite a lot this week (by my standards, not yours...), but it's only Wednesday and can't think of everything myself, who can? I don't think there are any particular jobs to do I've missed, I hope, so will just carry on and see what happens next. Or doesn't? |
Reply #203. Sep 08 10, 4:06 PM
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| veronikkamarrz
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OK, so just relax, and watch a movie, play a little trivia.
You know...Chill! :) There is always tomorrow. Good days!
Reply #204. Sep 08 10, 5:54 PM
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satguru
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| I pretty well am, thank goodness for the internet although there are rare times I've checked every message, photo and thread and literally completed my rounds. I've also been uploading photos to another site which had been waiting for a while, got some to scan in tomorrow and hopefully something else will attract my attention by then, and may well be seeing one or both of my parents for Jewish New Year. |
Reply #205. Sep 08 10, 6:45 PM
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satguru
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Well, the progress machine moves slowly forwards- after offering my services to two global warming skeptic groups I was contacted by another asking me to volunteer for them, so am now officially part of it, and busy writing datasheets already. I realised I could no longer work on my own and should have all the support in place now as well as being able to organise it myself so it works smoothly. I've passed on a heap of advice and seems to have gone down well so far. Although TV interviews do take place not being a scientist is safer I stick to the written side as not qualified to answer questions however nice it would be to go on TV again.
Being Jewish New Year went to my mum this evening, and after yet another late night the best I could do was a session in the outdoor gym followed by a walk round the park it's in, and found another brook I didn't even know existed which must run into the river down the road. I'm back now and besides various radio and TV programmes recorded that need catching up with will probably keep Streetviewing, I do find other interesting things on it as well as road signs so does help the photography.
So I just have to see what each day brings. I have more or less decided it would be worth offering Grace to share the house if I can afford to move, it would be no irritation like some I know and may get used to her. If she really wants to get married and no one else I'd even consider she may as well get a full chance although normally I'd be certain without having to test someone. But you have to be realistic and try and make lemonade if you only get lemons.
I hope I'll cross another medical visit off next week as they have to be done, and the rest will have to take care of itself as it usually does. |
Reply #206. Sep 09 10, 3:42 PM
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satguru
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Blimey, I'm bored? Am I still allowed to say that? The woman on Facebook who started off being helpful and then called me everything she could think of as I didn't change straight away would have banned me from complaining at all (she never did of course...) but better out than in I say. I've done my best, really, but any events haven't made any difference to the big picture, which will need a little more than another call to the radio or article written to improve. But I keep going, what else can anyone do?
My first act (unrequested) for the global warming group was a list of possible weaknesses in the argument. I got as far as 24 before reaching the newer and less certain studies possibly even more damaging to their theory. Most of all even if we were getting a little warmer regardless of the reason we only need to look back in history (the distance depends on who you read, another amazing feature of climatology) to see man thriving 2'C above present at very least, as they always do when warmer. So wasting all the money on guessing the future when we know more or less what happened before is (I'll quote the boss of Ryan Air who just said it as well, but nicely) horse manure. As for spending billions trying to stop the sky falling with carbon taxes is simply robbery. If they really could change the atmosphere with tax and other crazy ideas then at least wait till something's happened. Plus despite massive penalties on emissions for years guess what, CO2 is rising as much as it did before. Of course taxing essentials can't work (until the people either run out of cash altogether or die of cold) and they know that, but count all that money!
Anyway, as I'm now officially on board that trip I'm stuck with reporting my official duties as it's now expected of me (to do) and only my nature to report afterwards. Meanwhile 3 weeks to possible first article day, having seen it online it looks amazing, a few pages long with colour pictures (including of me) so very much concerned till I'm certain. As I well know from the newspapers you tend to get very few chances at these things.
Still not a single plan, not a bad thing in comparison with some alternatives but a lack of inspiration nonetheless. I am waiting for a reply from a top journalist who is the media arm of our group, and if he wants any of my material to use all the better. One thing I didn't intend in this area was fame but seems if you follow your heart and put in the effort people need you.
So little special to report so far, I've had a few weeks off which can only be a blessing after the previous month of assorted appointments, but like the time I left school a term early it's no good being free and no one around to spend it with. That needs sorting out but (as the same woman would rocket me for saying) beyond my imagination to fix. The only time you can herd people like sheep is if you're in politics or religion. Bugger, now I'll get edited... |
Reply #207. Sep 10 10, 5:24 PM
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| _Morpheus_
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Whoa....taking a walk on the wild side there, Sat man?
Seems you break out in bad case of "controversy lust" when you get bored? I guess we all think the other fellers beliefs are rubbish, if they don't coincide with our own. ;-)
Reply #208. Sep 10 10, 5:43 PM
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satguru
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| You may well have a point there (and welcome to my blog!), but only meant there as a throwaway comment rather than a statement of certainty. And definitely not a call to discussion for the obvious reasons... Anyway, in my favour Jesus called himself a shepherd so did set a precedent. Is that getting me anywhere off that particular hook now? |
Reply #209. Sep 10 10, 5:58 PM
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| _Morpheus_
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No hooks here old top and thanks for the welcome. It could have just as easily been me in a feisty mood but coming from the dissenting viewpoint.
I think Art Linkletter was spot on when he said, "people are funny". I certainly include myself in that characterization. George Carlin, put an even finer point on it with his observation, "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
Have a great weekend and forget about the Facebook Lady.
Reply #210. Sep 11 10, 9:21 AM
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satguru
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If you recognise an episode from TV then it's a repeat, but in real life the new stuff often looks like repeats but it's just variations on the same theme. I can apologise but not a lot I can do about the rest of it. I did come across Nonsuch Park on the map yesterday which had a royal palace hundreds of years ago, so as it was a nice day went and had a look. The majority is just like Richmond and Wimbledon Park nearby but besides a small garden area had a little Victorian museum which was quite interesting.
I'm back on Streetview to see if I can find one more sign before I forget about it, there are very few roads not coloured in but you never know. A good few vanished as well recently so have to get there before the councils do. I may be playing golf as well sooner or later depending if the latest place is open and reasonable. Meanwhile I think I got off an extremely embarrassing situation with added information. A few weeks ago the new woman was at the gym and I was about to ask the man she was with who I'd known for a while if she was single (how else could I find out- ask her maybe?) and turned round and he'd gone. As I didn't see either since then I asked the instructor who told me about the marriage and the husband had almost the same name as the person I saw her with. I thought nothing of it till today when they were both there and left together. Can you imagine asking someone if their fiancee is available? A minute earlier and I would, that is definitely one of the nine lives there.
So I'm waiting on the opinion on my first contribution to the global warming pressure group (and have added to it since) and hope they can use at least some of it. The journalist there hasn't replied to me, but at least am no longer working alone and unsupported. Although the scientist I know is certain he's more worried about a non scientist challenging his position. Commonsense is universal and a child can see the same things a scientist may not even notice. He can't get that yet but just hope the situation is resolved within our lifetimes as there is an answer. The EU has an answer and 35 years after I campaigned for a NO vote as we'd be swallowed up and taken over it happened and is happening exactly as I said, when it was all illegal. Maastricht 'fixed' that and we're now a province of an unelected government (the EU Commission make the laws, totally unaccountable so effectively working under a dictatorship). Global warming is another version of that but based on a single cause rather than an international totalitarian regime. Who are also creating the law on that for us to got a finger in the biggest pie as you'd expect. The best con is where the victim asks for the deal, they want the cheap timeshares, they want the cheap computer in a box (made of bricks), and they want green taxes. All based on greed or fear, and it's my money they've got them to steal as well although I know it's being stolen and not spent on saving the planet. No different from the bogus charities who buy bombs, drugs and sell your stuff to the third world for a week's wages. Conmen are the same the world over and if you don't think could be arranged on such a scale remember the Mafia. And nobody prosecutes them either except the odd show trial after which it's business as usual. You don't think they're involved with the EU as well do you, or would that be too much to think (answer, yes they are, they have massive shares of wind farms so far and quite unchallenged). Is anyone else surprised? |
Reply #211. Sep 12 10, 5:48 PM
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Jazmee27
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That's a scary thought!
Reply #212. Sep 12 10, 6:47 PM
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satguru
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| Absolutely, that's why I've got so busy with it. I put on my cape and became anti-warmist man. One day someone will thank me for it, if I'm lucky. |
Reply #213. Sep 13 10, 9:09 AM
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| Professer
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David i am fast becoming a supporter of yours on this cause, Am sick of the lies told by those in power. The revoloution is near.
Reply #214. Sep 13 10, 9:54 AM
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| veronikkamarrz
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You ARE lucky, David...Thank you!;)
Reply #215. Sep 13 10, 10:14 AM
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satguru
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It's good to get some encouragement, I am so contraversial it tends to bring out the worst in people who disagree as unlike most I share my views in public and not just among those who tend to agree with me or accept it as they know me well enough.
Which was also behind the first point today, every now and then I have to remind people when fighting we all need and want the same things, but appear to want different ones when all we're arguing about is how to get survival and happiness, the need and the want. We all survive in the same way and get happy partly from not having it blocked and partly from whatever does it personally. And if it doesn't hurt anyone else it's no one else's business to try and stop but they still do. Everyone's right to survival and happiness is the same but those in power seem to think they've earned the right to keep it for themselves and choose who else can share it, which also turns people against others and causes wars. No need, never was and never will be.
Sermon over, my own world is pretty similar to before, and they've just changed the law on seeing a doctor within a day so gawd knows how long I'll be waiting if mine has changed the rules as no longer binding as I have to get more tablets. The waiting room was downstairs in what was the butcher's (good supply of bits for the cat) and with some work moved it to the new corridor upstairs, like your landing at home but lined with about 30 chairs. That's 15 minutes potentially in the black hole of Calcutta and I'm claustrophobic. I will have to insist on staying downstairs next time as I'm going there to stay well and not get worse.
Besides that I've got my supervisor at last tomorrow after months of being away or busy. It's a legal requirement and now stretched to its limit. My old ex is expected the next day which would be fine if she didn't want a lift halfway to Birmingham (feels like it anyway) at midnight so she can go to the pub she virtually lives in. Too many things come with a price, and besides those with no option like the medical area people have to be weighed as to their benefits and burdens as if doing a budget. My energy is limited now and too many demands will send me downhill. And to get me out I need an incentive, and if the stresses outweigh the possible benefits I'm not doing that either. I can't be bothered to explain why as most people won't get it anyway, but will be with one woman as she's just too far away to bother (and I presumably am as well as she hasn't offered a trip this way, although she doesn't drive) and want to tell her why as had she been closer would have straight away. If she understands I know she'd make an effort as I'd expect her to see me had she still lived nearby. But when you've got anxiety and friends move further away it's like having to run hurdles to see them and people my age don't manage that too well. I do my best to see them elsewhere but like me it's often easier for people when you go and visit them, and that's now become a chore for some of them.
But the right people will always make themselves available and the others who wait for me to call them rather than come over clearly aren't that bothered either way. And however good it may be for the ego as a man even I don't take up every very rare hint or offer from a woman who wants to go out/in with me. These are nice enough women but not who I'd have personally chosen although would be happy to visit if on the doorstep. That's one of the symptoms and I have all the certificates you need from the experts, and why I need my tablets. I'm used to it now and don't see it as a particular problem as I can avoid most of the things that set it off nowadays, but now and again when I'm on my own would be nice to drive out and see someone which has created one limit I'd rather not have, but who hasn't?
I did used to have a snooker table and found people queuing at the door day and night. They had no trouble finding me from around London when I had something they needed, but when the table went so did nearly all of them. I am past caring, as I've looked and removed any blame or personal responsibility for my condition, I'm now as good as my tablets and have happily spent two hours in a crowd of 15,000 people when at my best with their help. There's an inner stability you lose with anxiety so have to do the equivalent of treading on eggshells while everyone else is on paving stones. I remember how it was and know that's how most other people are, but when you no longer are you can fall over on anything. So as you know what's likely to do it it's a lot better to avoid it all than get tripped up, anyone who's had a panic attack knows the routine and there is little worse health wise. You get all the symptoms of a tropical disease without a single germ. Lovely. |
Reply #216. Sep 13 10, 7:42 PM
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Jazmee27
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Hang in there David-it'll get better.
Reply #217. Sep 14 10, 7:50 AM
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satguru
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Thanks Jazmee, it usually does. Getting it down here actually allowed me to see exactly what was going on, and can then make plans to deal with it. Like counselling really.
Rain today, and got a last minute client to pay for the supervisor, so a good deal overall. The ex is coming early tomorrow so will keep me out of mischief if nothing else. It's exactly 16 days till the magazine comes out and as the editor only sends emails rather than replying I'll have to wait that long unless a summary comes out earlier and I'm mentioned in it. Nothing else has arrived from outside, including the cheque promised now for 3 months for one of my work companies (of two as far as I know...). It's a pain and expense phoning them every few weeks when they promise it and nothing happens, and can cost me as much as the amount in calls if I'm not careful. I've no idea what's holding them up but should have arrived already after their last message to me.
I really feel like sitting back and waiting for something to happen at the moment- I am occupied till Thursday anyway but feel like a little break from responsibility for a bit but will sit at home and get covered with dust if that happens. Then I can go out and stand in a queue somewhere and someone can write their name in it like on a van. That'll be a first, possibly. |
Reply #218. Sep 14 10, 11:59 AM
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| Lochalsh
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Nice writing-in-the-dust image, albeit a bit untidy. :)
Reply #219. Sep 14 10, 1:01 PM
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satguru
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Untidy? Have you met me perchance? ;)
I can't remember the last time I did two entries in a day, but the first was an early one and used to late ones. I think the day went well, it rained from lunchtime and then a client called for an urgent session so now paid for my supervision in advance, although that was so late it finished almost at bedtime as she was held up. In between I've been finding so many studies on global warming although my scientist dismissed them as always (not climatologists this time) I see it as a smoke-fire scenario and use him as the toughest tests I have to face elsewhere. He thinks he's going to kill my work off and all he does is train me up. I'm finding trends now which although not able to check myself are repeating over and over again. Two graphs for the same period of whatever feature is being measured, and two different shapes. The great thing is some of the innocent looking ones come not from these 'oil funded skeptics' but university websites. As they are on fixed salaries they have no interest in anything but displaying figures, as does the Queensland Coastguard Service (or suchlike) who print their sea data for people using it and not politicians. And they show sea level barely rising (and not the same everywhere as that varies worldwide as well and needs averaging out, offering a wide opportunity for variations) and temperatures stubbornly ignoring the rising CO2 levels. And best of all explain climactic cycles including the disputed medieval warm period. It is possible to adjust figures to either reduce or increase the slope of a graph or make variations in one part on a lower amplitude than others. So they can make temperatures look higher basically wherever they want as most people wouldn't know it. Well they do now.
I've also heard the visitor is early tomorrow so instead of dinner and returning her wherever she is hanging out next I may have to do something to entertain her. If it's dry it'll probably be the park and supermarket (she always liked that and I had to go anyway) and if raining then it won't matter. I'll be happy to have a clear Thursday and will take photos if dry or catch up on chores and videos if wet. How long it'll be before I don't stop what I'm doing and spend 10 minutes playing crystal ball I don't know, but it's far from luck, the clues point you towards the word and can tell roughly how many are left at any point. There are many times only one or two are possible and a few people always put it in at the same time and pure chance who gets counted. Toiling or toiler yesterday, I chose the other one but was probably a second or two too slow anyway but done the opposite as well. If I ever get married I can see myself on the honeymoon returning to the computer every so often to play, let alone reply to all my messages. I just hope any potential wife does the same or it won't last very long.
No miracles yet as far as I can see, (like we expect them...) and if there's nothing else to think about I can always imagine them all. I'd like one of my programmes to get on terrestrial TV without having to rely on making one specially (a few interviews, none followed up), get an article in a national paper (only one wasn't used but do have the magazine one pending), get any of the uncertainties in the world discovered in the news, like alien life existing, find something I'd lost, and anything else in those sort of fields. They do happen randomly every few years or so but of course the bigger they are the rarer, although genuine miracles are all equal as based on beating the system altogether.
In the parallel universe I could invite all my friends here over and they could come wherever they lived, even if a fraction could then I'd have no problem with my social life, the proof being I'd be friends with most I have met already had they not come from all points national and international. I'm not sure how long I'd have to be online to find one who's also local, I think that's one of those numbers that's bigger than the one I'm likely to live to, so another miracle required. |
Reply #220. Sep 14 10, 6:29 PM
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