| Lochalsh
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Oh, David, you'll always be 'neat' to me! (Pardon the vernacular, but at least I didn't say 'peachy keen.' :-)
Reply #221. Sep 14 10, 7:09 PM
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satguru 
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| Oh that is nice of you! The few compliments I get go a very long way. |
Reply #222. Sep 14 10, 8:21 PM
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satguru
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Another day another drama, ex is now separated from her husband, and rather than stay there till one leaves for a new place she's staying in various places, and now wants to come here tomorrow night whatever I want. Half the day she was nagging about it, and while I said it couldn't be any longer it's impossible to say no especially if there's nowhere else she can go. It's up to her now and will send me my orders tomorrow but can really do without it.
Meanwhile I'm seeing Grace tomorrow (stereo inadequacy but what else is there?) and another battle depending if she'd rather have tea at my garden centre or her shopping mall. I know which I prefer so maybe it'll be appealing to her as well. At least I haven't had time to stop and do nothing.
If you read the new age stuff (which I see as no less directive than the old age, just with flowers) you attract the same old poop over and over again (as I clearly do) until you change. Short of moving away or spending all day on dating sites in case I can either have even fewer friends and family around or meet more nutcases. If Grace wanted to stay here she could as she used to anyway and is no trouble, it's just you barely realise she's there at all. If she could afford it I'd like her to be the lodger if I can ever afford to move but don't think she can and will end up with more weird strangers and criminals as I always did when I had them in the past. Maybe I should put an advert up here, at least I'd get someone I knew already was likely to be decent company.
So no appointments yet as I was working yesterday and busy today, closed tomorrow so may get over on Friday and see the waiting list for the doctor's before I start climbing the walls. I don't take these tablets every day but have to have them when I do need them, and never run out before. Desperation is the one thing that will get me there and although no one wants to feel like a drug addict now I've realised what they can go through. Technically I'm sure if they really felt that bad without them they could get all sorts of proper stuff from the doctor but when you've been using illegal stuff you tend to avoid the official sources however much better they are. Being in the business myself I learn all sorts of tablets my clients take and how they work or don't work.
So it's a bit of a soap opera here at the moment, and far better for those on the outside watching than me not knowing tomorrow's episode. And I don't think it's as interesting on this side as it should be when I think of being in any of the ones I've always watched. And most of the best characters have left or only make guest appearances. I don't ask for too much and no longer expect anything, it's a lot safer that way. |
Reply #223. Sep 15 10, 6:01 PM
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| Lochalsh
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"If you read the new age stuff (which I see as no less directive than the old age, just with flowers)"
_________
Second day in a row you've hit on an especially felicitous phrase, David. You'll spoil your readers! :)
Reply #224. Sep 15 10, 6:27 PM
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satguru
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| I do my best! Lovely to be appreciated! |
Reply #225. Sep 16 10, 4:28 PM
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satguru
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Friday's episode: We've got Neighbours already, maybe mine could be called Nutters? Anyway, main thing is I survived. Grace had a nice afternoon at the garden centre (shopping mall ditched as soon as I thought of somewhere better) and the park next to it I didn't realise the size of. It turns out that she is desperate to get married, mainly due to nagging by friends and family, and I just happen to be around, little more. At least we know where we stand now and I said you don't do marriage without a relationship first and it's up to her what to do about it. I'm too old and alone now to turn down inadequate offers any more.
The ex arrived around midnight, went to bed after 3 and is now looking for alternative accommodation. I could really do with a third way, ie someone without any problems, but the last one I remember was in 1993 when her ex asked her back as soon as he heard I was around. There was another since then who turned funny soon after we met, the end result being a big fat zero whichever way it happened. How many more decades do I stay on my own 'just in case'? I don't know so you'll all have to watch and wait.
Not a lot more to add besides my freedom, and will be studying graphs next as I've found a little clue for global warming. If it isn't happening it's very easy to make it look like it is, and even when caught there's too much invested to care. However a test case is underway in New Zealand next month and will be very important if they lose. I have to find and compare as many as possible now for temperatures, sea and ice levels as there are two sets of figures, one is flat and one is a hockey stick. There's a bit of trickery involved to change a slope to a cliff and although the majority of the work has been done already and ignored (besides the latest case) I need as many examples as possible, as if all have been done the same way then the magicians will be exposed in a single move. Let the world ignore that, and give us a Nobel Prize on top (although they now appear to be given either for work in the future or political activism so lost their value now). That is the one thing I've found in common in almost every report and seems to be the bottom of the tree where all the branches and leaves grow from. Otherwise it would be a small weed. |
Reply #226. Sep 17 10, 4:38 PM
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satguru
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I am now recovering from my little flood of social activities- and why do I only ever get offers from inadequate women? Each is better than the last but the boredom with Grace doesn't look like it could ever change as we've really got no interests in common. I don't even know what her interests are besides TV and going out, and you can hardly talk about that for very long. She may have the looks and the patience I want but as a friend told me years ago it would just like having a cat around but sleeps in the bed at night rather than on it. Who'd have thought this long since it would become a possible reality?
No garbage on the horizon anyway, nothing known yet besides a few little errands, although had it been at the local ground there's a football match tomorrow I'd have been very interested in, along with about 8000 other people I should think. I'm hoping to get a few long standing jobs out of the way now I have a chance, and anything else will no doubt not happen at the time. But I have just (literally) heard my article will be published in the magazine 10 days from now which hopefully will be a new area in my career. I've got an idea for a followup which I can now start on, and see what happens. It's out on the 30th and will post something in the forums or chats when it is.
People say you shouldn't expect great results without great effort, but I think rather than push myself to my limits like I did as a student I've spread myself gradually since, and slowly added results as I went along. By my age nearly everyone has reached their career ambitions, and although this is my third career is the first one I wanted, ie to be in the media. As the acting went out of the window when exams took my life over I had to find another route, and as the psychic reading said 10 years ago, my interests would become my work (although as yet unpaid). So I'm getting there and between us Grace is now considering an offer to stay with me as a trial. That's a change from a week ago I can tell you and would know from reality rather than imagination if it did. It worked with the witch of the north (to quote the wizard) who proved in a week what I'd have had for most of my life had I taken up her offer. I'd never had so many demands in a day since I worked for Stanley in my grandparent's shop, who would come and poke you if you weren't doing something, while 90% of the work he gave us proved unnecessary in the fortnight he went away and discovered it only needed a day to do what he made us do in a week. Stock was replenished, musical instruments were cleaned and orders were posted, but when they needed it. It was one of the most tiring jobs I'd done till we found it didn't have to be. I reckon many workplaces are like that and for absolutely no reason. Others can be the opposite but more the exception. Entering figures into a 1990 computer which took about a minute to update was the easiest I remember, we had long lists of numbers and locations to enter for every invoice, and just sat there putting each one in, waiting for the screen to change and carrying on until it was done. I couldn't believe a job actually had so little actual work to do although there was plenty more in between including both taking orders and helping the despatch office send the white goods around the country. My last shop job was either serving, sitting waiting for customers or once or twice a week opening stock and putting it in the storage areas by the ceiling. But a lot of the time I was just on standby although the customers made up for it with their demands when they did arrive. It wasn't hard though and only the difficult customers caused us any stress, which were probably more than half of them. They'd work their way along the shops, driving each salesperson mad before moving on to the next- sometimes we'd be next door and hear them giving them a hard time just as they had with us not long earlier. I'd still go back to shop or office work if anyone offered it to me but the last time I did (wow, 2000) it closed within a week. Not my fault, just the wrong location a mile from the shopping centre or so. I've made hundreds of offers since then and gave up after a few years when it was clear most places don't want men part time or at all for clerical work. If I do manage to buy another house I'd need some extra income, although a person renting a room would be the first source I'd probably need to try again on that front, and would be exactly on or around the same road as where I was before. Although I was where I am now till I was 5 the 28 years spent next is really home to me now, and carried on working there another four years after I left. After being bored at home and wanting to move I've seen life elsewhere and realised it's not any better, far from it in fact, so must now find a way to get back to civilisation and preferably to share it with someone civilised as well. I've always been far better with business than pleasure though, it's what I find comes naturally. |
Reply #227. Sep 20 10, 3:09 PM
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| veronikkamarrz
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Is the 'trial' move in with Grace, the 'boarder' you mention in the last part? If so, is she aware that she will be paying rent? Just curious, and I really hope both things work out!:)
Reply #228. Sep 20 10, 8:40 PM
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satguru
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| The ex is the one who stayed and is far too much for a lot more than that. Grace appears to be broke as I suggested that to her as well as it would have helped me out even if she wasn't going to be married. It keeps me busy, but will it ever be the way I want? |
Reply #229. Sep 21 10, 7:44 AM
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satguru
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It can get com;licated. Every decade alone is to me wasted, but every decade with the wrong person is far worse. There comes a point when the lines cross and better to be with almost anyone, but when will that point come? I know exactly who I would want, even had a few interested in me once, and while I can see the difference am still not prepared to compromise yet, although if we lived together the minuscule chance she'd stop being boring, and even smaller she'd actually become interesting would come out, and if my guess of thoroughly tedious proved correct we'd have lost nothing. Get married and you're copulated. And not in the good way.
I hope Lesley will have an answer for this. For 15 years my doctor only made appointments the next day. Although it was the law many surgeries managed to avoid it, it's now not law and my appointment is in a week. If they could do it the next day for 15 years what are they doing now? Not longer appointments I guarantee (not that I want one), or home visits (dropped long since), so what the bloody hell are they up to? Answers on a postcard please. And on that note I appear to have ended my 20 years association with the Liberal Democrats, after doing quite a lot of work helping one get elected here last election (and besides her dreadful attitude to Israel still happy with her as an individual). They have just added a new petrol tax even higher than the Labour one, and that to me is so far beyond socialism (for a party of the centre) to be totalitarian. I can't be associated with or support anything against the poorest people, as we all use petrol and the poorer you are the more of your money will now go on it, plus the existing energy taxes. For a party now on the left of Labour that policy is simply that of a dictatorship, something King John or Pol Pot would have been proud of. No Robin Hood now so will place my support with UKIP if and when I join an alternative.
The ex is visiting tomorrow (and not staying) so covered for another day's activities, (listening and trying to get on with other things mainly), and may even see if the optician's in if free the next day and get that out of the way as well. Unless the factory burns down (stranger things have happened) I should be published in 10 days, albeit not in a book but in public. Until the darn thing is in my hand I won't celebrate, but can relax more or less now it's official. I've had enough disappointments already not to trust anything now in advance, who would?
So otherwise I completed my supermarket vouchers today, did the front garden for maybe the last time this year, and just getting on with it. I've had zero feedback on the lists on global warming mistakes I sent off, a good start to a job I was asked to do and now apparently forgotten. They won't get many other people to do it, few have the time and even fewer have the patience as well. If they don't like what I produce they can always send me on promotion work instead and give me specific instructions. Whether we'll get anwhere while bankrupt governments worldwide use the climate to rob us more than Ronnie Biggs would have dreamed of is yet to see, we can't get a revolution but public opinion can change and if few wanted green taxes (ie voluntary robbery) they'd have to find a new cause to invent to part us with it. I really think if they could find an alien race planning to invade the planet, or stop a super virus killing the world population they'd do at least as well if not better, and probably at least as many of the populace would readily accept and believe every word they said. I mean, why would they lie to us?
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Reply #230. Sep 21 10, 2:46 PM
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satguru
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Nothing new to report but when's that stopped me writing? Just a little local photo trip for tomorrow, no jobs looming besides the doctor next week now (I should have booked before the election if I'd known but too late now) and whatever else happens on its own.
Of course I'm very unlikely to turn down the latest offer regardless of any potential benefits. If someone's impossible to talk to for an afternoon then she will be for a lifetime. A bad offer is no better than no offer at all really, and pretty sure she's doing it as she's getting desperate and will take anyone in the wrong place at the wrong time, having heard her reasons for it. She's not interested in me, I think I'm just convenient and I don't want to become a convenience for anyone. Another one about to bite the dust.
It does feel that although there's nothing wrong there's something I'm missing at the moment,a piece that should be there but I can't see it. If it turns up I'll be very pleased, although haven't a clue what it could be. And having separated from her husband the ex now announced she should be married to me. She's not an ex for nothing, and the same reasons she was then are the same now, no dice thank you. That's two offers (although the second was only a repeat of one 18 years earlier I also politely declined) before she married the husband. Someone above is having a laugh at my expense. |
Reply #231. Sep 22 10, 7:33 PM
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satguru
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A totally free day today and got lots of little things done, after some photos (nothing special believe me but got me out) did some of the back garden and washing indoors, and now back to checking the last roads on the map in case another old sign turns up.
I won't have to mention this much longer, my magazine comes out in a week now, of course one article does not a journalist make and even less noticed by anyone important, but it'll be another landmark crossed and opportunity for more. Not a single plan otherwise (maybe an eye test but no hurry) and if another sign does turn up can go and take that, otherwise only see what happens when it arrives. I've got the video now of the party I went to in April, 8 minutes and quite a lot of me in it as I was talking to the person who filmed a lot of it and her daughter.
All I will throw out today is where all the information I have in my dreams comes from. Both who sends it to me and how. I started with little collections of obscure place names, then music with words and then road signs with clues to where they could be. All of this was information I had no previous knowledge of, and based partly on my own interests. That meant whoever sends it can both read my interests, know where everything is and can send it to me as and when it feels like it. That's a lot of ability there and probably closest to what we'd consider a guardian angel/s. Why it happens so rarely and only in the last 10 years or so is another mystery, and if I have a guardian angel can it do this when I'm awake even if I don't realise it? And has it happened to you? It's one link I have with a higher level and should try and learn some more about it, especially if I can expand the amount it happens. |
Reply #232. Sep 23 10, 7:08 PM
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Jazmee27
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No dreams as such, but sometimes I "sense" when something really good or bad is about to happen (I call it my "expect the unexpected sensor". I don't know what's coming, but I like the heads up (it keeps me from freaking out later).
Reply #233. Sep 24 10, 6:01 AM
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satguru
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| Yep, I get that as well for sure, mainly for bad things in the past but slightly getting the good ones as well now. That was the first thing I ever had and didn't have to do any work to get it, it was natural. |
Reply #234. Sep 24 10, 8:11 AM
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satguru
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Higher powers part 2:
I've established the dream communications has to have a source, and will now add (from the Celestine Prophecy as well, although I found this happening long before I read the book), my life both seems guided in some ways and definite energy phases I've talked about for a long time where the same things happen for a short time and then stop again. All these are aspects of the same force, and my other wish is to learn to control it more and communicate with the source that currently chooses to pop in from time to time to show me it's there.
The other aspect is I always thought if I discovered a higher power life would never be the same, but so far it is, I'm aware there's another level that enters occasionally but between that life is exactly as it was before. Very odd.
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
One for you there Lesley, as I've divided the topics today and used one of the partitions- I think I'll add some hearts and smileys next if I remember where they are using the extra shift keys. Back to the present, there is a little space. The week was pretty busy, shopping on Tuesday followed by doing the front garden, the only woman in my life Wednesday (the ex of convenience), photos and the back garden yesterday and today I woke up and completely ran out of material. No more ideas at all. And it's amazing that despite being as sure as anyone can be that there is more going on somewhere, it doesn't help one bit when nothing's going on down here.
Tomorrow is a continuation of today, I want to find one more old sign and will then be happy to stop if no more turn up as I've got a fair selection now after nearly three years collecting them. I may phone one old female friend, now divorced, as although she is just as strange now as when I knew her 25 years ago and has moved just out of convenient reach I do owe her a call. What do you do when your friends tell you they don't like your potential girlfriends and then you discover whatever they (as trusted individuals over many years) pointed out was correct but there's no one else around? I suspect this one wouldn't even have me but if there's a way to get her a bit closer to find out it would keep me busy on someone different, albeit secondhand for me already. She dumped me by the way although was very pleased to hear from me when my old neighbour got us back together. That was a major surprise after the last time I saw her (she probably crossed the road when she saw me). I slowly work my way through all these 'opportunities' when all else runs out, it's like I save the new problems for when the old ones run out...
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Reply #235. Sep 24 10, 7:57 PM
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| Lochalsh
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David, re your earlier post: I do believe in the power of dreams, and I know I(begin to) work out important issues in my sleep, when I lose the superego for just a bit. I wonder, though, about guardian angels that communicate with us in dreams and elsewhere. There are times when I feel my late partner is watching over me, and then I decide that that's just wishful thinking on my part.
It's difficult to let go of the rational world, at least for me!
Reply #236. Sep 25 10, 2:36 PM
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satguru
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| Rational includes unknown, science isn't just about naming the known but discovering what was unknown. This is no less scientific than anything else, it's only science isn't yet equipped to measure it but it's pretty real to me. I can't see the Celestine Prophecy being written as fiction either, someone appears to have worked most of it out as it fits whatever's happened to me at least. |
Reply #237. Sep 25 10, 4:29 PM
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Jazmee27
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My problem is second-guessing my reality, then deciding I was delusional when I thought it was reality. (I don't always question, though.)
Reply #238. Sep 25 10, 4:56 PM
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| lesley153
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David, I'm sorry I missed your question about doctors' appointments, but it doesn't really matter, because I haven't got a clue. I think though that it must be something to do with receptionists. From my experience of trying to get appointments, and what I've heard from other people. GP receptionists have all decided to brighten their drab existences by torturing patients.
The politicians must appreciate that increased petrol costs result in increased costs of everything. How does the economy benefit if food becomes prohibitively expensive?
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
Ooh - I like this! Can you remember how to do hearts and smileys? I can't. :(
#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
Lochalsh, I've often thought, usually after a narrow scrape, that I must have someone looking out for me. Why not?
Reply #239. Sep 25 10, 6:28 PM
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satguru
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Jazmee, that's your intuition coming out there- go with the first feeling usually, and if two then go with the strongest. You'll soon get to know which is working.
I still expect too much, once I see something like that happen I assume it's now normal, but most of the time I'm just the same as usual even though I'm pretty certain we're only working on the edge of a far greater dimension. I hope it resolves sooner or later or it'll seem like a pretty big waste of time. There's still a lot to find out, assuming it exists at all.
Back to here and now, I'm totally drifting now, I've either done or arranged every little job there was besides the eye test which doesn't need booking sometimes if he's free. There aren't, despite the total size of three counties, many more roads left for me to streetview after about 2 years of it, it's done it's job more than adequately but would just like something else hidden around a corner just to finish the job. I think I'd also like to work as a small team, a family or a friend or two rather than seem to do nearly everything on my own.
Tomorrow and beyond are predictable but never certain, although something good's ahead next week I can't waste the time till then and that may amount to nothing. It's a pity there's no world competition for playing crystal ball, that may keep me busy for a while... |
Reply #240. Sep 25 10, 6:50 PM
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