paulmallon 
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Let's Take A Trip To Disney
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
Reply #1201. Sep 13 11, 6:31 PM
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paulmallon
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Make It Off The Island
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
Reply #1202. Sep 14 11, 8:32 AM
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philipgrae
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One morning, a boss was walking down the street with two of his employees, and they came across a magic lamp.
The boss rubbed it and a genie appeared (as they do).
The genie said, “OK, I’m supposed to give you three wishes, and as there’s three of you, you’ve got one wish each …”
So the first employee jumps up and says “Mine first! I want to be very rich and live on a Caribbean Island, with loads of willing women.” So the genie grants his wish and he disappeared.
The second employee then said “I want to be in a big city, with a penthouse and a Ferrari.” So the genie granted his wish and he disappeared.
Then the genie turned to the boss and asked what wish he wanted …
And he answered …. “I want those two back at work by lunchtime!”
Reply #1203. Sep 14 11, 4:14 PM
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paulmallon
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Mind Telling Me The Time?
BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"
WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."
BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer"
Reply #1204. Sep 15 11, 9:30 AM
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CmdrK
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At a wedding reception the emcee asked all the married men to get up and stand next to the person who has meant the most to them during their lives.
The bartender was almost crushed.
Reply #1205. Sep 15 11, 6:53 PM
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paulmallon
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One Wish To Each: (LADIES:REMBER THIS IS JUST A JOKE)
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man.
Reply #1206. Sep 16 11, 8:39 AM
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paulmallon
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Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
Reply #1207. Sep 17 11, 5:59 PM
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Aussiedrongo
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I'm assuming these phone books were all part of the same trilogy.
Reply #1208. Sep 17 11, 10:40 PM
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channe
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Ha ha ha. Very good.
Reply #1209. Sep 18 11, 4:39 AM
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REDVIKING57
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"Blond of the Rings"?
Reply #1210. Sep 18 11, 10:33 AM
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jolana
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Fortunately, I am dark-haired but these "blond" jokes get on my nerves. I find them rather boring, easily predictable and very PunC.
Sorry for spoiling the fun:(
Reply #1211. Sep 18 11, 6:25 PM
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paulmallon
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Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
Reply #1212. Sep 19 11, 7:06 PM
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| kiya99
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a blonde was driving behind this guy on the street and when they got to a stop sign she hit his car. so he got out of his car and hand her get out of her car to. he took a piece of chalk and drew a circle. he said"don't step out this circle"
so he went to his trunk and got a crow bar and busted her side windows and she started laughing. so he busted her side window and she started laughing even harder. so he busted out her front window and she started cracking up. so he said"what's so funny" and she said "i stepped out the circle 3 times while you weren't looking"
Reply #1213. Sep 19 11, 7:29 PM
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paulmallon
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Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Reply #1214. Sep 20 11, 2:00 PM
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REDVIKING57
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Q. How do you get a two-armed blond out of a tree?
A. Wave to him/her with both hands!
Reply #1215. Sep 21 11, 4:36 AM
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paulmallon
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Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking.
Reply #1216. Sep 21 11, 6:59 AM
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| eggman23
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A horse walks into a bar. Barmaid says, "Why the long face?".
Reply #1217. Sep 21 11, 9:28 PM
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paulmallon
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THE BLOND TEACHER:
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
Reply #1218. Sep 22 11, 8:56 AM
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| attogora
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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?
"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Reply #1219. Sep 23 11, 6:58 AM
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| boiscrazy
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Why Do Fish live in salt water? because pepper make him sneeze
Reply #1220. Sep 23 11, 8:59 AM
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