dumbo86 
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The Dumb Test
The Brain Teasers That Will Mess With Your Brain To Get Your Brain Teased Badly Test Of Dumb Questions Test!
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread."
If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows
drink?
Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain
is
over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more
appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said
"water",
proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue
bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made
from black bricks, what is a green house made
from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said "green bricks," why the hell are you still reading
these??? If
you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany
(If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West
Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The
pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on
a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do
so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's
land"
between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's
land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must
stop.
If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next
question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford
Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people
get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and
four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea,
three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get
off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!
Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions
Reply #361. Jul 15 08, 12:32 AM
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sherry75
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...Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of fat happy women
Reply #362. Jul 16 08, 4:22 AM
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Starlord
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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and tells him that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes on her elbow and screams in agony. She then pushes on her knee and screams... pushes on her ankle and screams, and so it goes. No matter where she touches, her agony is apparent. After some thought, the doctor says "You're not really a brunette, are you? You're really a blonde". She sheepishly admits that indeed, she is a blonde. "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
Reply #363. Jul 18 08, 11:45 AM
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Starlord
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Meanwhile the hunt goes on, for the man terrorising the local nudist colony with a bacon slicer. Inspector LeFarge had a tip off this morning, but is expected to be back at work tomorrow.
Reply #364. Jul 18 08, 11:54 AM
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honeybee4
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How do you cook kidneys?
You boil the pi$$ out of them.
Reply #365. Jul 18 08, 12:30 PM
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Starlord
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My brother sent me this one!
**Subject: Character test.**
**This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By
giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.***
*
** ****The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in
which you will have to make a decision.***
*
** ****Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.***
*
** **** Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each
line.***
*
** ****THE SITUATION:***
*
** ***
** *****You are in England, York to be specific.***
*
** ****There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe
flooding.***
*
** **** This is a flood of biblical proportions.***
*
** ****You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and
you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is
nearly hopeless.***
*
** ****You're trying to shoot career-making photos.***
**There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing
into the water.**
**Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.**
*
** ***
** **
** ***** THE TEST:***_
_***Suddenly, you see a man in the water.***
**He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the
debris.**
**You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...**
**You suddenly realize who it is... It's Gordon Brown! You notice that
the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two
options:**
*
** ****You can save the life of Gordon Brown or you can shoot a dramatic
Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the
country's most powerful men!***
*
** ***
** *****THE QUESTION:***
*
** ***
** **
** *****Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...***
*
** ***
** **
** *****Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with
the classic simplicity of black and white?**
Reply #366. Jul 19 08, 12:53 PM
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| Twodeez
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Nice one Starlord. Currently cleaning beer of my monitor:)
Reply #367. Jul 19 08, 1:18 PM
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| wilky1957
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30 % of english cant read 30% cant write and the other 50% cant add up
Reply #368. Jul 19 08, 4:15 PM
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| vene
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hehe, good one Starlord :)
Reply #369. Jul 20 08, 12:00 AM
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| dj168
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Hahahaha Starlord, you got me going on that one.
Reply #370. Jul 20 08, 12:47 AM
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Starlord
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Here's another and I think it is very funny!
"Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a
virgin and very inexperienced around men.
So, on her wedding night, while staying at her mother's house, she was
nervous. But her mother reassured her.
'Don't worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs
and he'll take care of you.'
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and
exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'
'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy chests.
Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'
So up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his
pants exposing his hairy legs.
Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs.'
'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go
upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'
So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks,
and on his left foot he was missing the better part of three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot-and-a-half.'
'Stay here and stir the pasta,' says the mother. 'This is a job for
Mama!'
Reply #371. Jul 20 08, 10:59 AM
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honeybee4
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That one got a big HaHa-HeeHee from me Starlord.
Reply #372. Jul 20 08, 11:30 AM
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| Twodeez
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Once again Starlord, a belter. Thank goodness I'm not metricated, I probably wouldn't have understood it. 10/10.
Reply #373. Jul 20 08, 2:23 PM
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Starlord
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An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Reply #374. Jul 20 08, 4:09 PM
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sherry75
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An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as:
Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host,
'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.
'The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said,
'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago
and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'
Reply #375. Jul 23 08, 10:54 AM
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| lovleyEm6767
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A frog walks into a bank and asks for a loan.
“What’s your name?” Asks the woman behind the counter, a Mrs. Paddy Wack.
“Mike Jagger.” He replies.
They discuss things for a while linger, then Mrs. Paddy Wack informs him that he meets all the qualifications for the loan and all he needs to finalize the deal is something to seal it with.
Mike Jagger hands over a small plastic elephant.
“What is this?” Asks Mrs. Paddy Wack.
“An elephant,” replies Mike.
“I will not accept this. In fact, I’m going to call the manager and see what he thinks of this nonsense.”
So she does.
Pretty soon the manager comes down the stairs and listens attentively to Mrs. Paddy Wack’s recount of what had happened. She ends with “now, what IS this elephant thing?” He nods and says…
“It’s a knick-knack, Paddy Wack, give the frog a loan,
his old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
Reply #376. Jul 23 08, 11:18 AM
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romeomikegolf
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Just a reminder that we are a family site with some quite young visitors. Please keep the jokes clean. If your 10 year old would need to ask what the joke means, it probably isn't suitable. And PLEASE, don't post that you haven't got a 10 year old.
Reply #377. Jul 25 08, 1:09 PM
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Starlord
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
Reply #378. Jul 29 08, 6:48 PM
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rosmarinus44
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As one of the down and depressed, who can't tell a joke if her life depended upon it, thanks for raising a smile.
Reply #379. Jul 29 08, 7:55 PM
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| lozza223
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what does a cat drink in space?????
the milkyway...
Reply #380. Jul 29 08, 9:32 PM
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