I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old |
next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come
over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied,
'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error' What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'
'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said,
'and I think you'll figure it out'.
So I wrote down:
I D 1 0 T
I used to like Eric
Reply #461. Oct 11 08, 1:09 AM
Do You Feel Safer?|
Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. And that was the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time, federal police authority has grown to a large number of multi-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc.
Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Can't you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their black outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs: "FATASS."
I feel safer already...
Reply #462. Oct 11 08, 1:10 AM
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Makes you proud to be an American!
Reply #463. Oct 12 08, 11:14 AM
With our economy in such rough shape these days, most of us have to watch our spending , and find the best deals.|
So, here is a riddle for you,
Which are cheaper, Beer Nuts or Deer Nuts?
Answer - Deer Nuts, because they are always under a Buck!
Reply #464. Oct 12 08, 6:02 PM
May have been said before|
What so you call a Scouse in a suit?
Reply #465. Oct 12 08, 6:10 PM
Here's a joke my Middle English lecturer told me.|
A wandering vagrant visits a miller and his three daughters and one son in their isolated cottage one winters night. He sits down to dinner, and chats happily to the family, taking especial interest in the youngest daughter, Maude. He then beds down in the attic for the night. At first light, the miller's distressed son wakes his father. "that vagrant has been having it away with our maude", he says. "How do you know that"? says the startled miller. "He's peeing his name in the snow" said the boy. "What's wrong with that"? says the miller. "'Tis our Maude's handwriting" says the boy.
Reply #466. Oct 12 08, 6:53 PM
A man walked into a bar ouch|
Reply #467. Oct 15 08, 10:29 AM
Whats a scouse???|
Reply #468. Oct 15 08, 11:49 PM
A couple walk into a bank just as it opens. Suddenly a robber runs inside. He takes the couple and the bank manager into the vault, but his mask slips off for a second. The thief asks the manager if he got a look at his face. Yes replied the manager and he was promptly shot. The thief then asked the husband if he had seen his face. "No" said the man "but my wife did"|
Reply #469. Oct 15 08, 11:54 PM
A scouse is a derogative term used in the UK for a citizen of Liverpool, refers to lobscouse a vile stew made by sailors that is a local dish. |
They have bad press, its actually a good place.
Reply #470. Oct 16 08, 6:58 AM
Scouse or Scouser has acquired connotations of lawlessness.|
Management of a major supermarket have installed CCTV in all their branches. It's worked well everywhere, they said, except in Liverpool, where they stole the cameras. (And I don't know if it's true or another Scouse joke.)
Reply #471. Oct 16 08, 7:11 AM
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK , uncertainty has now hit Japan .|
In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended
after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts reportthat there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal
Reply #472. Oct 16 08, 9:55 AM
Yes that is another scouse joke, although it may well be true in Birkenhead.|
How do you set up a scouse with a small business?
Buy them a big business and wait. Ouch.
OK, any cockney jokes just to redress the balance?
Reply #473. Oct 16 08, 10:16 AM
What do you call a dog with no legs...Nothing,he's not going to come anyhow.|
Reply #474. Oct 16 08, 3:44 PM
I once had a dog I named "Twice",because he never came when I called him once.|
Reply #475. Oct 16 08, 3:48 PM
A man got a call from his doctor concerning some tests he had run on him latley. The doctor said,I have some good news for you and some bad news,what would like to hear first? Well,tell me the good news said the man. The doctor said I'm sorry but you have only 24 hours to live.Oh no! exclaimed the man,but if thats the good news whats the bad?I couldn't reach you on the phone yesterday replied the doctor.|
Reply #476. Oct 16 08, 4:04 PM
Come on people,help me out,I'm getting awful lonley here on page 25 all by myself.|
Reply #477. Oct 16 08, 4:42 PM
OK a corny one just to avoid the loneliness.|
What do you call a man with a bird on his head?
Reply #478. Oct 16 08, 4:46 PM
THeee best joke in the world:|
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! ahahahahah!
Reply #479. Oct 16 08, 7:12 PM
A camel walk in to a mans pyramid and the guy says "can I help you" and the camel looks at him and stares. HEHEHE, that is a real gut buster, I am holding my tummy I am laughing so hard.|
Reply #480. Oct 16 08, 7:28 PM
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