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Topic: Let's cheer up.....jokes please

Posted by: deadlydalton

Subject: Let's cheer up.....jokes please
Date: Jul 06 07

Seems to be one or two quizzers out there ,down and depressed,tell them a joke and cheer them up a bit.



What do the donkeys at Blackpool beach get at dinner time?









Half an hour, the same as everybody else.

(title edited to stop new joke threads)



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1610 replies. On page 25 of 81 pages. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81
jolana

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

Reply #481. Oct 17 08, 5:50 PM

BleachFan3 Where do one legged people eat? IHOP!
What was one of the ladies names? Ilene!

Reply #482. Oct 19 08, 7:56 PM

BleachFan3 Why are FootBall players so hot after a game? Because all the fans left

Reply #483. Oct 19 08, 7:59 PM

dogjaw I opened my refrigerator this morning and there was a rabbit inside. I ask what he was doing in there and he asked "Well, this is a Westinghouse, isn't it"? I told him that it was. He said, "Well, I'm just westing." HA!

Reply #484. Oct 19 08, 8:33 PM

bbqc45 What did the cowboy say when walked into a bar?
Ouch!
Wouldn't you if you walk into a metal bar.

For those who don't get it...it's a metal bar sticking out and he hit his head on it.

Reply #485. Nov 08 08, 8:33 PM

dj168 http://www.freebyte.com/jokes_humor_cartoons_fun/philosophical_questions.html

Very interesting questions.

Reply #486. Nov 21 08, 9:39 PM

dj168 http://aproposofnothing.wordpress.com/2008/03/28/a-few-philosophical-questions/

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Reply #487. Nov 21 08, 9:41 PM

dj168 If Pinocchio said, “My nose is about to grow”, what would happen?

Reply #488. Nov 21 08, 9:43 PM

dj168 If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, do you plan a surprise birthday party for them?

If the "black box" survives every plane crash, why not make the entire plane out of that stuff?

Isn't it a little scary that a doctor's work is called practice?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Reply #489. Nov 21 08, 9:47 PM

Ingold What would you call a man the walks barefoot ten miles to a pub wearing a monks robe and when he arrives drinks two beers, then four beers and returns home?

A supercallusedfriaristicexponentialdoser.

Reply #490. Nov 23 08, 4:58 PM

simsgrl2 i am to slow for some people.........


to fast for some people what am i?


answer: time

Reply #491. Nov 23 08, 5:26 PM

simsgrl2 nice joke you are good indigold.....

this really is a compliment....

im not making fun of you

Reply #492. Nov 23 08, 5:28 PM

Zann03 Well, there were 3 men in a sauna. Two of the men were feeling happy, so Happy got out of the bath.

Reply #493. Nov 26 08, 12:10 AM

rwbidin

Senator John Kerry walks into a bar! The bartender asks. Why the long face?

Reply #494. Nov 26 08, 7:16 PM

Zann03 Pffffffff! hahahahaha and I don't even know who John Kerry is.

Reply #495. Nov 29 08, 1:59 AM

shakeyerthang3 A big, fat lady comes up to a guy at a gas station. She asks him how to get to 294 (the highway). He replies, Jenny Craig. HAHAHAHA. i found this so funny for some reason.

Reply #496. Dec 08 08, 4:08 PM

mcr-182 there was a blond on an island. she tried swimming to shore but she got tired half way and turned back

Reply #497. Dec 09 08, 11:57 PM

rigsz knock knock, whos thier
lettice.
lettice who
let us in and i'll tell you

Reply #498. Dec 12 08, 2:45 PM

rigsz Why did a skeleton go to a chinese restaurant? to get some spare ribs!

Reply #499. Dec 12 08, 2:46 PM

rigsz why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?

Because he had no-body to go with!

Reply #500. Dec 12 08, 2:47 PM

1610 replies. On page 25 of 81 page(s). 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81


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