|Went to bed late, for a change, the other night (OK, yesterday morning), so wasn't too pleased when my cousin rang me and woke me up after six hours. This is the same cousin who phoned a cousin in Manchester at 4am when his father died, phoned my brother in London a little later, and got his wife to ring me at 6am. Couldn't face listening to him, went back to sleep. Two hours later, he rang again, woke me up again, and this time I answered. |
"Have you seen my email?"
No... still in bed...
"I think it's the most beautiful email I've ever sent, and my wife agrees with me."
(Oh no - it's going to be one of those Inspirational Stories; mawkish and probably not true. Please no.)
"There's 19 pages of it."
(Help - that's going to be a lot of reading. I'm going to feel sick well before the end of it.)
I'll answer it when I see it, but first, I need to wake up.
Good news - it's not text. It's a load of pictures, which he sent me a quarter of an hour before he could no longer contain his excitement, and phoned me. It was when he printed them that they ran to 19 pages. Nineteen pages of Dutch tulip farms. Very pretty but are they worth an email, a phone call quarter of an hour later, and another one two hours after that?
He knows how late I sleep. I waited till the evening and wrote a fairly uncharitable reply. Thank you, very pretty, but with the best will in the world I can't spend 24 hours a day watching my screen and, if I'm not there (or asleep!) there is no such thing as phone call that will get me to the screen any faster.
I haven't had an answer yet... but I am having naughty thoughts. If he thinks early morning phone calls are acceptable, because he's up early, then I shall ring him and wish him goodnight at 3am. I wouldn't, but I might tell him I would. If he tells me I "should" be up earlier, I might think about it!
When I went to bed last night (OK, this morning), I put voicemail on, and turned the volume down to nearly nothing. Done it before, need to do it more often.
I just got a letter from my new practice, sending me for a load of tests. I have to provide a sample of the first wee of the day, and give blood for a load of basic tests for things like sugar control and kidney function. Oh - forgot to mention - fasting blood sugar. Nothing but water for ten hours beforehand. Ouch.
Scrubbed up and tumbled into the car within half an hour of getting up, hoping to get there before I realised I was hungry: remembered to put the urine sample into my bag, quick drive - only a mile - and straight into a good parking spot. (Jonathan asked if I was going to walk. Not without food, I'm not!) I was third in the queue so I waited for about five minutes.
Sounds perfect, except for one silly little detail - I forgot to take the cards from the GP; the ones that identify and authorise the tests. So there was absolutely nothing they could do. No, they can't ring the surgery to save me going home; they need the doctor's signature.
"I'm sorry. It sounds pathetic, doesn't it?"
(Well, actually yes, now you mention it.)
"But don't join the queue when you come back. Just knock on the door and walk straight in." Sounds fair enough.
So I zoomed home, zoomed back, slithered straight into the same parking spot I'd left, and walked straight into the room, much to the chagrin of the growing queue. And I was out in five minutes and straight home again for food.
The paperwork I should have taken was near the front door, which wasn't good enough. It really needed to be *on* the front door, or in my bag. Bum self-kicked and lesson reinforced.
Jonathan is on his way home. They landed in Gatwick 40 minutes early, on a journey that's supposed to take two and a half hours. He didn't want to leave Portugal. Bad luck! He can go back another time.
Perhaps we could go together, as long as it's just him and me. My MIL ruined a holiday that started off just H and me, by wheedling her way into joining us, and my grandmother tagged along on her brother's honeymoon. Wrong... so wrong. Not something I want to be remembered for.
Reply #1501. Sep 29 10, 10:07 AM
|Forgot to mention - something in the hospital aroused my inner pedant. It was a printed reminder that a fasting blood test means that you can have water but it is not "permissable" to drink tea or coffee. |
The Latin infinitive permittere means that the English word will end with -ible, not -able. Not sure anyone would want to know that, though.
Anyone else getting irritated with Google Chrome? Twice today, doing searches, I hit "cache" because I thought it would save time, and got some ridiculous message about how sorry Google is, but I appear to be sending automated requests. Sending WHAT? There are help searches, and advanced searches, and even a help forum, but nowhere does it say "contact us" or visit _here_ if you have a question.
I visited the help forum, although not happily or hopefully. If I have a question, I want a direct and relevant answer. I don't want to sit around like a lemon in the vague hope that some other user will have had the same problem and will know what to do about it. To my surprise, the fifth or sixth thread is about the message I was getting. An enormous number of people are getting the same bizarre message.
Oh look - someone from Google has posted! "What browser and bah blah jargon jargon are you using?" Lovely way to stall for time - and lots of answers naming any number of browsers and ... er ... other things - but no solutions.
Come on, Google. If you want to take over the world, you'll have to do better than this.
Reply #1502. Sep 29 10, 11:57 AM
I was instructed at an early age not to phone anyone at home between 10 PM and 10 AM, except in the case of a bona fide emergency, and it's worked well for me. |
Now, I'm less amazed that you're doing so well in your rehab exercises; after all, you can kick your own bum! :)
Lochalsh knows nothing about figurative language. :)
How do you like my double-duty dividers, Our Lady of the Hugs? :)
Reply #1503. Sep 29 10, 12:05 PM
Lesley, you could take an album-ful of pictures of - oh, I don't know - doorknob displays at your local DIY? yards and yards of cobblestones? all the garden walls in Bedford? - and e mail them to your cousin, and call him at 3:00 a.m. to urge him to boot up his computer. He might get the message. Then again, that might be a little too subtle for someone who sees nothing wrong with rousing a recuperating cousin from a deep sleep before the sun is up. Maybe it would be better to tell him that you don't appreciate phone calls before the rooster crows, then turn off your phone and go to bed and pull the covers over your head! |
Reply #1504. Sep 29 10, 1:22 PM
Lesley, I have decided you need to write a book, just reading your daily posts is more entertaining than most of the novels I have read in the recent past. You are delightful in every way. Sharp witted, a word master, and full of wisdom. I promise you it would sell, just call it a stroll through life with Lesley. Thank you ever so much for just writing and sharing. And for your hugs, who could ask for more. (((()))) |
Reply #1505. Sep 29 10, 3:53 PM
Does courtesy mean nothing these days?|
I have a friend who calls me at 11-30 at night (it was all right before my hospital stay, but several times already he's called whe I'm fast asleep [Hello, I'm still recovering here, so don't stay up all hours of the night like I used to!]) Oh, let's not forget the time whenI was still up that late, living with my mother (who has a rule of no phone calls coming in after 10-didn't apply to me, since I was always behind my closed bedroom door when the phone rang) and I tole him I was having company over that weekend [I thought he'd get the hint and refrain from calling, but he still did-and I "ripped his head off" for it!])
Reply #1506. Sep 29 10, 3:56 PM
Hints are often only understood by the person making the hint.|
Forgive me for not knowing but is there a caller identification you could use so you could just choose to not answer the phone?
I warn people I am not responsible for what I say if I am not awake when I answer the phone.
Reply #1507. Sep 29 10, 4:11 PM
|Knickers! I wrote a long reply which would have been #1505, but the temporary collapse of FT, combined with the permanent stupidity of Google, and a load of "confirm form resubmission" rubbish, on Google AND FT, lost me the whole bloody lot. GRR! Second attempt. |
Lochalsh, I like the hugs, but the dividers make me blush. Here are some for you: (((((())))))
I have a Rehab session tomorrow. I must tell them about my new skill. They will be so pleased with me!
I too avoid phoning people outside those hours, unless it's expected or already been cleared, and progeny don't count, so Jonathan phones whenever he feels like it. Hmmm.
Merv took to ringing me at 1 and 2am. I asked him not to ring so late.
"Why not? You're still up, aren't you?"
Yes but *sigh* that's not the point. Once I told him I was planning an early night but he needn't worry about disturbing me if he rings, because I can't hear the phone when I'm in my bedroom.
"What should I do, then? Ring your mobile?" NOOO!
Before they broke the Merv-mould, they used it to make my cousin. He is lacking the brain cells that govern Acceptable Social Behaviour, and Listening to Other People. If he rings when I'm busy - the worst time is when I'm hungry, and need food, fast - he probably hears "can't talk - busy/hungry" but keeps on talking. When I try to talk, he interrupts with a constant stream of irrelevant questions. Her name is Jen - "Is that short for Jennifer?" - what? yes, it's short for Jennifer. What the hell else would it be short for - does it MATTER what it's short for? - and now I've forgotten what I was going to say... *sob*
For a long time, I put voicemail on and didn't answer if it was him. I even told him why - if I'm busy, I'm busy: when I need food, I Need Food - but he forgets what doesn't affect him. I also switched the phone off at bedtime a few times. Told J first, of course, so he wouldn't fret. But I resent having to modify my behaviour all the time because my cousin wants what my cousin wants.
He has just sent me another jokey email, without a whisper about anything I wrote to him yesterday. He has been telling me for a long time that I am his favourite cousin, we've always got on well, and he enjoys talking to me the most. I am the only cousin who talks to him.
I like the idea of sending him loads of pictures. I am tempted by the thought of 19 pages of gnomes and toads. How about a few laughing hyenas for luck?
Thanks, Garry. Have a heap of hugs too. When FT had proper blogs, Jonathan used to read mine - because he enjoyed it, he said! - and he asked me why I was wasting my time on an insignificant private site, when I could be reaching a much wider audience. If he thought it was insignificant a year ago, I wonder what he'd make of it now, with people getting bored in droves.
I miss having a proper blog. A bog-standard thread is hardly a substitute. The beloved sprog also told me to write an autobiography. It's a thought, but I hate to imagine the effect it would have on some of my relatives. Oy and some vey too!
Courtesy means less and less in the face of burgeoning global selfishness. Jazmee, do you still call him a friend? A headless friend? Perhaps he thinks recovery is an overnight process.
Jonathan made the very intelligent point that most people, with normal lives and reasonably good health, have kittens at the thought of treatment for an ingrowing toenail. The prospect of heart surgery like mine, or spine surgery like his, is beyond anything they could ever bring themselves to contemplate, and they are likely to assume that getting over this sort of thing takes as long as their only experience of illness: a bit of a cold. At the worst: manflu. Lucky them, that they really haven't got the first clue.
Deunan, you're right about hints, which is why I have told him, in words of as few syllables as possible, why I don't always answer the phone, and that ringing me at five-minute intervals won't make me any less busy or hungry. Unfortunately he has the attention span of a tablecloth.
It's not about knowing who has phoned, though: it's about he wakes me up. And yes, I can put voicemail on, and turn the volume right down, or turn the phone off, and pull the covers over my head, but I shall still be haunted by images of him, and of me throttling him.
Thank you for the definition. Most of them were laugh out loud - fabulous. :)
Reply #1508. Sep 29 10, 5:25 PM
|That's something else we can no longer do with our Pretend Blogs - control them and edit them. I have no idea why the word "burgeoning" is floating around loose in the middle of everything. It looks like a sub-heading but it's really a pathetic accident. |
While I'm here, I may as well treat you to his latest offering. It includes dancing aliens, with metal bodies and one eye in a green head.
Urgent Warning for Next Thursday!
Aliens are coming to Earth next Thursday and their mission is to abduct all good looking and sexy "old" people.
You will be safe; I'm just emailing you to say goodbye.
Bet you all wish you had people sending you messages like this!
Reply #1509. Sep 29 10, 5:38 PM
I bet people would regret sending me messages like that as I would send them messages in response which would read...|
Reply #1510. Sep 29 10, 6:05 PM
Damn, I wish I'd thought of that! :)
Reply #1511. Sep 29 10, 6:07 PM
I like that!|
I don't know if I consider Eric a friend or a pain in the you-know-where! Here's one of my abwsolute favorite (heavy on the sarcasm here) conversations [from when I was lying in the hospital bed, in need of comfort-the sad thing is I knew he couldn't provide it, but he was the only person I could have called]
"When are you getting out of the slammer?"
(I forget what I said to that one, actually... but later, I told him that "You can't rush the healing process")
"That's a new one on me!)
(I believe my thought was, what an idiotic thin to say-or maybe, how old are you-two??)
Reply #1512. Sep 29 10, 6:30 PM
|Poor you! I'm beginning to wonder - how many people do we know who aren't idiots! |
Reply #1513. Sep 29 10, 6:41 PM
Let me think.....eleven. Yes, the answer is eleven.|
Reply #1514. Sep 29 10, 6:48 PM
|Eleven? that many? Perhaps I could send one or two people over and see if exposure to non-idiots improves them; even a little bit. |
Reply #1515. Sep 29 10, 7:20 PM
Lesley, my dad had the right attitude toward phones. He never answered the phone at home. He always said that the phone at home was for his convenience, nobody else's! |
Why is it that people get p.o'd when one doesn't answer one's phone? I have friends who say things like "I tried to reach you several times but you never answer your phone." No, I don't. I let the machine take messages and then respond to the messages to which I want to respond.
Reply #1516. Sep 30 10, 12:32 PM
I have a landline phone only for my convenience and in the case of an emergency. I don't give the number out, which is why I turn the ringer off (actually, the reason has more to do with the businesses calling me-and the fact that I'm too lazy to get my name put on the "do not call" list). If somebody needs to reach me, they can use my cell (and, I might add, I have to think very hard about what my lanline number is-all other numbers are memorized!)|
Reply #1517. Sep 30 10, 12:54 PM
i never give my phone number out so never get calls only people have my number are my mum and sister and friend in scotland.|
I have even managed to get my number on a list to prevent cold calling :)
Reply #1518. Sep 30 10, 2:18 PM
Our phone rarely rings.|
So, we added another number yesterday.
Reply #1519. Sep 30 10, 2:43 PM
|I have caller ID. If I don't want to answer the phone, I let it ring. If I'm tucked up in front of the telly, watching a good programme (something that is rare enough to be treasured), and enjoying a meal, I am not prepared to give it up at somebody else's convenience. |
I've also got a bar on anonymous phone calls, but some people get round it. They phone me but their number comes up as unavailable. Sometimes I'm tempted not to answer, but recently it's been hospital Patient Transport, asking if I want a lift to my next appointment. Yes please!
One person who rings me every so often, the female equivalent of Merv, used to demand to be told where I was, and what I was doing, when I didn't answer the phone. I alternated between saying "I have no idea" and ignoring the question, so she doesn't ask now.
Not only unanswered telephones - Merv got distinctly peeved off when I didn't answer the doorbell. I castigated him once or twice. Or tried to.
You don't need to lean on the doorbell. I can hear it all over the house.
"But you don't always respond."
I am not always in a position to respond. That doesn't mean I can't hear it.
"Oh all right then, mutter mutter grumble grumble grumble."
I've had my home phone and my mobile phone on the Telephone Preference Service list for years now, and it works to some degree. For instance, it's a long time since I was wandering round Tesco when my mobile rang and a voice asked me if I was interested in getting a mobile phone. (I've got one. You've just rung it. Go away.)
The TPS is supposed to be voluntary, and most companies here are good about adhering to it, but there are ways round it.
- Phone from abroad where the rules don't apply.
- Say you're conducting a survey or doing market research, without actually remembering to mention that you're doing a survey on behalf of a double glazing company, and the market research is, if you were to have only one window double-glazed, which window would it be.
- Say you're conducting a survey or doing market research on behalf of UK charities, without actually remembering to mention that it will also be on behalf of insurance companies, financial institutions, car sales and, of course, double-glazing firms. It's when they ask you how old you are, what's your marital and homeowner status, how many people live with you, and what's your total household income. (Any one of those questions is my cue to hang up.)
- Ask if you want an updated motor quote. Updated on what? "You asked us for a quote on some car or other." When was that? "Er - let me check - two and a half years ago."
Are you registered with the TPS?
So am I. Thank you so much for calling.
Reply #1520. Sep 30 10, 3:15 PM
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