bionic4ever 
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Hugs are essential for good mental health and stability!
{{{{HUGS!}}}}
Reply #2221. Jan 01 11, 12:15 AM
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| lesley153
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What more could a girl possibly need?
Hmm - lemme think - how about a bright shiny new man who puts the vacuum cleaner round, and doesn't answer back?
Think I'd rather have the hugs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My cousin was planning to see the year in with his step-daughter and her husband. His (third) wife died three or four weeks ago, and he's been spending a lot of time with them. He got a little more upset than usual on the 26th, which was his birthday, and she fell apart last night, which was her birthday - so spectacularly that she sought advice from a doctor who specialises in emotional problems.
She told the doctor that it upset her to see my cousin, because he reminded her so much of her mother; and the doctor said: In that case, stay away from him. So he spent new year's eve by himself.
Am I missing something here? Is there some surreal parallel universe in which grieving includes withdrawing all support from people who are grieving for the same person? |
Reply #2222. Jan 01 11, 7:41 AM
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Jazmee27
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That's just wrong!
Reply #2223. Jan 01 11, 9:23 AM
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| lesley153
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| Oh good - that's two of us think it's just wrong. Her mother's just died - she's supposed to be upset! I doubt that abandoning her stepfather helped her, and it definitely didn't help him. Come to think of it, it may not have done much for their relationship either. We shall see. |
Reply #2224. Jan 01 11, 10:06 AM
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Professer
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Thats a utter Disgrace Lesley, that Doctor needs struck off for being so callous. I remember many years ago now when my dad died i felt no emotion for reasons not for here, I had a doctors appointment the next day, she offered a lot of support if i needed it but diod not say stay away from family.
Reply #2225. Jan 04 11, 12:08 PM
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MarchHare007
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A doctor who specialises in emotional problems told her to stay away?
Someone should smack him over the head! I've never heard that before.
Sounds like the doctor has avoidance issues and wanted to get home. :$
Pity for your cousin, Lesley.
During such early times everyone should be around each other and the tears flow and anecdotes related.
It's all part of healing.
Reply #2226. Jan 04 11, 7:36 PM
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Jazmee27
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I couldn't agree more.
Reply #2227. Jan 04 11, 7:42 PM
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Rowena8482
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Could it be that she decided she didn't want to see him, and is using "the doctor's word" as the excuse so there can be no recriminations? (Just a thought, as it sounds so improbable for a qualified doctor, especially a psychiatric one, to say something like that)
Reply #2228. Jan 05 11, 11:15 AM
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Jazmee27
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Now that you mention it... that makes sense (and, I hope, is the case)
Reply #2229. Jan 05 11, 4:05 PM
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Professer
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Lesley how are you not heard from you ion a few days and am worried bout you
Reply #2230. Jan 05 11, 4:06 PM
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Rowena8482
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Lesley was on FB earlier so is alive and kicking! (And now I am outed as her stalker lol - when I write the book I shall cut her in for a % of the film right, honest!)
Reply #2231. Jan 05 11, 5:58 PM
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| lesley153
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"It's all part of healing."
Course it is. Most of the point is doing it together. The daftest, most destructive thing you can say is "I didn't want to weep, or mention the dead person, in case it upset someone else." Marriages have broken up over less.
"... using "the doctor's word" as the excuse..."
It could easily be. Not that many people want to give him the time of day so when he gets a word out of someone he doesn't want to let go. So you say "I have to go" and he says OK and carries on talking. In the end people don't answer the phone when they know it's him, which is sad.
This time I don't think it is like that. They've been propping each other up for the last few weeks, but it was her birthday that set her off. There'll be a lot more dates, anniversaries, reminders, that'll set her off. Lucky her that she doesn't know that yet.
Gary, thank you, I'm OK - please don't worry! (I guess you don't look on FB that often.)
Rowena, us stalkers have to stick together. I'm going to be writing the screenplay, remember? Ooh - what happens if my book comes out first? |
Reply #2232. Jan 05 11, 7:07 PM
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garrysouders
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While I was working yesterday I saw a woman who could have been my Mother's identical twin. It overwhelmed me so much that tears started. I didn't know what to do, so I walked away until I could recover. Mom has been gone about ten years, but it brought so many memories. The memories were good for me. She was the perfect mother. I guess you can grieve forever.
Reply #2233. Jan 07 11, 10:01 AM
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Pagiedamon
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"She was the perfect mother".
Oh, if only my kids say the same thing one day. That's lovely, Garry.
Reply #2234. Jan 07 11, 12:42 PM
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| lesley153
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You probably can grieve forever, or you think you've stopped and it takes next to nothing to set you off again.
(((((( Garry )))))))
Pagie - they will, they will! :) |
Reply #2235. Jan 07 11, 12:53 PM
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| Lochalsh
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Yes, grief is spiral, not linear.
Garry, I hope the memories of your mother sustain you more than sadden you.
Paige, I have no doubt you'll be remembered well.
Lesley, the usual (((((((((((((Lesley)))))))))
Reply #2236. Jan 07 11, 1:18 PM
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Jazmee27
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Gary, that's so sweet ((((Gary)))
And Paige, of course they will (((Paige)))
Lesley, good to see you again (((Lesley)))
I'm full of hugs today (makes me feel better, and keeps me from worrying about Mom [at least, that's what I tell myself]
Reply #2237. Jan 07 11, 3:46 PM
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| lesley153
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| And I'm feeling very hugged. Good, isn't it? |
Reply #2238. Jan 07 11, 7:04 PM
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Professer
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No more than you desaerve Lesley {{{{{{{{{{LESLEY}}}}}}}}}}
Reply #2239. Jan 08 11, 5:04 AM
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| C30
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Can we all get in on this {{{{{{{LESLEY}}}}}}}
Reply #2240. Jan 08 11, 9:07 AM
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