| lesley153
|
Thank you for calling it cunning. :)
I've never allowed him close enough to check for halitosis, but you're spot on about the other three! |
Reply #3681. Oct 04 11, 2:46 PM
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daymare 
|
lol....perfect response...
Reply #3682. Oct 04 11, 3:16 PM
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| lesley153
|
We've just had a mildly frustrating exchange of texts.
About half an hour ago, he told me he'd just found the "required papers" shoved through his letter box, and he's guessing they're from his neighbour, so "thanks anyway."
"No, they were from me. I spent a good few minutes trying to cram them in, and the burglar alarm didn't do a thing. Your "no free papers" notice can go in the bin."
He responded with effusive gratitude and terms of endearment, and explained that they didn't get far enough in.
"I didn't do it to make you happy. I did it to prove that the burglar alarm doesn't go off, & you can revert to having them delivered, like everyone else."
So he repeated - they didn't go through far enough. If they'd crashed to the floor, it would certainly have gone off.
He still doesn't get it, does he?
"I worked very hard to get them through the letterbox. The average deliverer will not work that hard. You have nothing to fear from newspaper delivery."
Ah - I wonder if he gets it. He replied:
If you say so!
If he asks me to save him the papers, it will be so easy for me to say no. |
Reply #3683. Oct 04 11, 3:38 PM
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| trojan11
|
I fear that he will soon find another excuse to pester. But, hey, you've a while free from the Merv....party time, Lesley.
Corned beef sarnies, sauerkraut, and how about fish&chips? :)
Reply #3684. Oct 04 11, 6:42 PM
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| lesley153
|
Fish and chips - my favourite! How did you know?
Washed down with hot strong tea (spoon left in cup and all that) and a bit of apple pie, or spotted dick and custard? or skip the pud, and just nip down the Palais for a bit of a knees-up? |
Reply #3685. Oct 04 11, 6:55 PM
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| trojan11
|
Great, sounds like one hell of a good night out. But...erm, how the hell do I get my knees up? These days it's hard enough just to get up out of a chair.
I must tell you one day, of the fish dinner that my kind neighbours brought up for me a few months ago. I just hate it when fish still has its head and eyes. The way the eyes stare plaintively at you, following, seemingly, ones every move.
Reply #3686. Oct 04 11, 7:15 PM
|
satguru
|
Aim left? What does he want people to do there, shoot him or almost as bad? Most openings would just have 'Aim please' which would tell people all they needed to know.
Reply #3687. Oct 04 11, 7:17 PM
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daymare
|
Is this the end of the trials of Merv?
Reply #3688. Oct 04 11, 7:42 PM
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| trojan11
|
Not likely. As we speak, the Merv is probably wrapping battered fish into those freebie newspapers.
Reply #3689. Oct 04 11, 7:47 PM
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| lesley153
|
We could stagger to the Palais, collapse gratefully in an upright tapestry chair with wings, and do the hand-jive.
Wasn't that kind of them, to bring you a meal? And how far can eyes track you when they've been cooked?
I don't know what the "aim left" is about but there was an obstacle very close to the letterbox. It could have been a hat stand with twenty coats on it. Whatever it was, it stopped the papers falling on the floor.
Something else I can suggest, if he still thinks I'm going to collect his papers for him, is a box nailed to the inside of the door, to catch the post. Useful if you have post-chewing pets, or just a fierce burglar alarm.
Or I could just say no. That would require less energy and fewer syllables. |
Reply #3690. Oct 04 11, 7:48 PM
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| lesley153
|
| I want it to be the end. I haven't met anyone who actively seeks out his company or praises him, which means I am not alone. Always nice when people agree with you. |
Reply #3691. Oct 04 11, 7:51 PM
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daymare
|
Lesley, if you want it to be the final chapter of Merv, saying 'no', and meaning it, is a viable option.
Think of how much happier your life would be. No more negativity. No more listening to him complain about his lot in life. No more repeats of him lamenting about how people annoy him.
In other words, being stoic.
Reply #3692. Oct 04 11, 8:06 PM
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| lesley153
|
It's the best/only option. I did it before, when I got annoyed at his inability to distinguish a journalists's opinion from fact, and his delusion that saying "This'll probably annoy you but..." makes a brainless, insulting rant acceptable. I told him where to go, in no uncertain terms (OK, Anglo-Saxon terms), and he went.
I can do it again. Only this time I won't be angry. I shall just say no. |
Reply #3693. Oct 04 11, 8:21 PM
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Jazmee27
|
Good luck
Reply #3694. Oct 04 11, 9:00 PM
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| lesley153
|
| Thanks, Jazmee. You don't sound convinced! |
Reply #3695. Oct 04 11, 9:02 PM
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| C30
|
GOD he's dense! Merv that is not any given deity! 99.9% of the population can usually "take the hint" when their overtures are unwelcome.........how come you manage to meet the other 0.1% Lesley?
I take it the "second word being 'OFF'" didn't work either? Smack round ears?
Must admit this is out of my experience zone.........being told that the lady is not interested is perfectly familiar, but not having to get rid of unwanted attention!
Doesn't his activities border on "stalking" which you might remind him is an illegal activity and you may have to investigate legal means?
Meanwhile, do keep up the narrative.......as a well known character would have said, "Fascinating" (logical or not).
Reply #3696. Oct 05 11, 12:33 AM
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MarchHare007
|
Having been regaled in a previous blog life of your Trials of Merv, Lesley - I should think a succinct 'Sod Off' is quite acceptable.
You've been very restrained.
I'd have stuffed his free papers down his neck and turned on the hose to ease them down..... :)
Reply #3697. Oct 05 11, 1:01 AM
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| lesley153
|
The sad thing is, I felt sorry for him, till I realised that it's so easy to see why he's desperately lonely - the only person he has any interest in is himself, and he doesn't care who he treads on in his quest for personal gratification.
The obvious question is, why did I continue to put up with him - because I still felt a teeny bit sorry for him? because I thought he had potential: that he might one day blossom into a normal human being?
Or because he wore me down with a constant stream of Interesting Things aka excuses?
"I've found this newspaper cutting that might interest you/Boy Wonder/both of you..."
"There's this programme on telly tonight I really think you'll like..."
"I'm stuck on the last few clues of my crossword. Would your magic Com Pyoo Ter have the answers?" and then that became a weekly ritual, using my computer to finish the prize crossword, after he'd got all the clues he could from books, with the promise of a half share in the prize money if ours was first out of the hat.
I just remembered - he'd put the unfinished crossword in an envelope, with a piece of paper for me to write my answers on. Heaven forfend that I should actually write the answers straight on to the crossword! Would have been nice if it had been a fresh piece of paper each time.
I think the reason I put up with it is that he used the Salami Method of attrition - slicing away a tiny bit at a time, so you don't realise how worn down you've become.
Thanks, MarchHare, you and Jonnowales are the only people who have referred to the previous generation of Merv tales, and you REMEMBER!
Stuffing papers down his throat would be OK if someone else did it, because it would mean touching him. He touched me once - grabbed my wrist and tickled the palm of my hand (UGH!) - and I shouted loud enough to deafen and frighten. I don't think I've shouted so loud at a grown-up since I passed for grown up.
Hosepipe sounds like a much better idea. Now, why didn't I think of that? |
Reply #3698. Oct 05 11, 6:14 AM
|
honeybee4
|
I was fascinated way back when and still am with your stories of Merv. I know it is a perverse fascination. Foegive me?
Reply #3699. Oct 05 11, 7:45 AM
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Jazmee27
|
If I don't sound convinced, it's because I'm really not. I think life is turning me into a cynic :(
Edy was a charmer, and when he left I thought 'Good riddance.' Mom kept insisting he was "a nice guy," and allI could think was 'are you kidding me? After all he put you through?'
I felt sorry for Charlaine, which I'm sure is why I didn't call the police or anything until she threatened to do so.
And that creep Mike I've mentioned before? Charmer #1 :(
Not to be confused with Uncle Michael, who's charming in the best sense of the word (and who's as deserving of respect as one of my friends)
Reply #3700. Oct 05 11, 7:48 AM
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