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Fill the decoy fridge with piles of flabby, waterlogged bacon, nice fatty pork pies, fish with the heads still on, piles of shiny, wobbly red liver, and things with tentacles.

Would that work any better?

Reply #3921. Oct 16 11, 6:13 PM

Possibly Lesley....unless he thought it looked like an aquarium....but I like your train of thought.
Would certainly have the vegie girlfriend running! (Hmmmm..)
Handling meaty, fishy or tentacley type things doesn't phase him. He even appreciates the aroma of cooking meats.....just has never been keen to eat any - even as very small. I blame my MIL..... (Ha Ha)

I guess I'll just move house. :D

Reply #3922. Oct 16 11, 6:37 PM

I think that's what you'll have to do. Don't forget to heed Jake's words of wisdom: Change the locks. Leave the decoy fridge behind. Don't tell him you've gone.

What did your MIL do?

Reply #3923. Oct 16 11, 6:43 PM

Having lunch tomorrow with someone I drove all over Bedford, but who refused to take me to lunch when I'd been told not to drive. It's going to be interesting. Night, everyone. :)

Reply #3924. Oct 16 11, 6:54 PM

Yes - Jake's plan was sound and certainly has me thinking.
Better buy some window locks as well......
MIL minded Boy quite alot till Steve started working from home - while I went to Tech.

MIL thinks she's a Buddhist because she loves all animals and thinks we shouldn't eat them - although She does....

My comment was almost tounge-in-cheek.... :)

Lunch with What's Her Face? Oh My. What a treat! :$

Reply #3925. Oct 16 11, 7:03 PM

Hope you can sleep with all that excitement. :)

Reply #3926. Oct 16 11, 7:08 PM

Advice from friends with regard to fridges can be very expensive.
An American acquaintance of mine popped round some months ago. He stood outside yelling my name (very loudly) for some minutes. This, I take it, is the endearing American way of gaining entrance. Why bother to knock, ring or call when you can just yell at the top of your voice? Anyway, I let him in and we chatted for a while. He was thirsty so I offered him some iced water from the fridge. Upon opening the fridge door, he exclaimed, "Hey, your ice box is all iced up!" Well of course it was. I hadn't touched it since the food inside became so rock solid as to become immovable. One of those things that one hopes will eventually sort itself out...you know?
"I'll clear that for you."
"That's very kind."
"No problem."
"Don't use anything metal. Use that wooden thing on the draining board."
"No problem."
I happily sat out on the terrace sipping my drink and thinking, "What a thoroughly nice chap." Stupid of me, eh? Within minutes I heard him exclaim, "Oh....Sh**, that ain't good." Even from where I was I could hear the hissing sound of escaping gas, or whatever it is they put in those things. No doubt the kind of emission that would have SAT, Daver and Co, consigning me to the very bowels of hell. He had used the sharpest knife that he could find, which just happened to be a combat knife that I had been cleaning. Needless to say, he pierced the plate and the pipe in an instant. Kurt attempted to stem the flow with chewing gum; that worked for about twenty minutes. He then went out, leaving me with my finger over the rupture, and purchased some filler. That didn't work either, and by now the gas was happily going about its allotted task of dstroying the ozone, the planet, all of humanity, and stuff.
After telling him that he was an idiot, we went out and I purchased another fridge. I banned him from its immediate proximity, threatened to kill him. we then sat out on the terrace and got blind drunk.

Reply #3927. Oct 16 11, 7:29 PM

satguru

I think we could have two toilets per room, one with the seat always up and the other always put down. As long as you don't forget which is which in the dark or carry the phone when using either it could fix that issue as well. Or maybe not.

Reply #3928. Oct 16 11, 7:34 PM

Lesley, MarchHare, Sat, this thread is nothing if not varied. :)

Reply #3929. Oct 16 11, 7:39 PM

To be perfectly honest, Sat, I draw the line at two loos in the living room. I am a firm believer in the lavatory being outside at the bottom of the yard/garden.

Reply #3930. Oct 16 11, 7:41 PM

Trojan, I don't suppose you asked your friend ontributed to your new fridge in any way, other than giving you a reason to Buy one? :)

Loo at the bottom of the garden? Sure....shovel anyone?

Reply #3931. Oct 16 11, 8:00 PM

David - two loos per house seems quite civilised enough for me - one pink and one blue. Solves the seat issue admirably!:D

Reply #3932. Oct 16 11, 8:02 PM

March, I did, but he has little money, so I settled for a dinner invite during the course of which he spilt the entire contents of his mix of, Rum/Vodka/Coke all over my meal. Oh :) happy days.

Reply #3933. Oct 16 11, 8:19 PM

Some friends are just like that aren't they Trojan - but we still like them. :)

Besides, saved you from defrosting and possibly imminent danger.......

Reply #3934. Oct 16 11, 9:36 PM

We know about almost tongue-in-cheek remarks! And we know about grandparents left in charge of small, defenceless grandchildren. *manic laughter* I may be one of those very grandparents, one day.

Lunch with What's Her Face? Yes, the very same. And thank you, I slept like a log.

What a beautiful story, Trojan - brought a lump to my throat. *gulp*

Jonathan did the same thing; looking for something to do, offered to de-ice the fridge, scraped away happily for a few minutes, then came in to tell me that there was a hissing sound coming from the fridge. I closed the fridge door and sent him to the (nicer) neighbours while I rang the fire service.

They said the gas escaping is ammonia, which can fill up the house and suffocate you, they dragged the fridge outside, and they used big machines to blow air through the house.

Jonathan felt bad about what had happened, but he didn't need to. It was the day before his father's funeral, so he was forgiven, and I got a new fridge on the household insurance. Not to mention four hunky firemen in the house...

Not sure I'd want even one loo in the same room as the fridge. :-/

Reply #3935. Oct 17 11, 4:57 AM

Jazmee27

When I lived with Mom, I remember putting my hand in the potato bin to clean potatoes, only to find some half rotten and the others with sprouts so long they took up the bin (gross-scared the living daylights out of me)

Reply #3936. Oct 17 11, 6:15 AM

bloodandsand

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath.... the smell has gone!! No need to pollute the planet, trogan, just a tub of bicarb as recommended by flopsymopsy. My fridge is so clean it sparkles (smug, self satisfied grin) :))

Reply #3937. Oct 17 11, 11:56 AM

Dragged the fridge outside - used big machines to clear the air 'cos you might have died, Lesley? That's probably why I was feeling nauseous and lightheaded. I didn't thnk too much about, as that's how I feel most days....hungover. :)

Reply #3938. Oct 17 11, 12:34 PM