postcards2go 
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There are some men who believe that any divorced or widowed woman must be have a desire for 'comfort' --*now!*
Reply #4961. Aug 08 12, 4:25 PM
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| veronikkamarrz
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Well, that's just bull. If he EVER came to my door again, I'd have to get the gun. Really...Or I guess 911 is an option, if you have time to wait. No touching, is the way I feel.
Reply #4962. Aug 08 12, 4:25 PM
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| lesley153
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Good point, Postie. You hear stories of men who come to pay tribute to a colleague who's just died, but they're really sizing his wife up to see if there's a chance of getting their leg over. The male logic in these circumstances is seriously flawed.
Depends who's doing the touching, VM, doesn't it? His once was once too many. I'd made it perfectly clear that I didn't want to touch his unwashed fingers, and he still touched my hand. UGH!
Yet one more thing I've stopped him doing is leaning on the doorbell.
I can hear you coming. You don't need to lean on the doorbell.
"But you don't always respond."
I think he now understands that sometimes I can't and sometimes I don't want to. Whichever it is, it's up to me if I answer the door, not him.
While he was dropping in whenever he felt like it, I was living in hope that I might at least be able to make him stop doing things I found objectionable. If I have, he's just found different objectionable things to do. It's all been a waste of energy. He is never going to be satisfactory company, and he's definitely not going to be anything other than company.
Last time I told him to go away off, he stayed away for 18 months. Let's see if I can make it longer this time. |
Reply #4963. Aug 08 12, 5:12 PM
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| veronikkamarrz
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To me, no. I don't allow 'touching' period. My kids are the ONLY exception.
Reply #4964. Aug 08 12, 5:44 PM
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| lesley153
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| VM, I remember a conversation about this years ago, when we had real blogs. In the end we agreed, all greetings would be by waved white cotton hanky. Sound good? |
Reply #4965. Aug 08 12, 5:57 PM
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| veronikkamarrz
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Hanky waving! But still, no touching! :)
Reply #4966. Aug 08 12, 6:10 PM
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| lesley153
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| Yep, that was the deal. :) |
Reply #4967. Aug 08 12, 6:11 PM
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| lesley153
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There is one other thing he has stopped doing - telling me how to stay safe.
"Don't leave that there - someone might nick it."
"Don't throw the spoon away with the jar."
"Don't forget to close that window before you go to bed."
And this from someone who says there's no point washing bedlinen. After two years, you just throw it away and buy new. |
Reply #4968. Aug 09 12, 6:41 AM
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| lesley153
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| All ten of the new chatboard posts on the home page are from the "for children" category. Six of the titles contain the word favourite, and one contains the word cutest. Wake me up when school starts again. |
Reply #4969. Aug 09 12, 11:15 AM
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| veronikkamarrz
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I noticed that, too...Bound to happen, but the kids should be outside riding bikes, playing ball or whatever 'we' used to do! :)
Reply #4970. Aug 09 12, 11:45 AM
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| lesley153
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| Eating worms and making mud pies? |
Reply #4971. Aug 09 12, 12:20 PM
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| lesley153
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Sandy took me to the new Waitrose. It should have opened in time for Christmas (last Christmas) but only opened last week. It was lovely - calm, pleasant shoppers, staff still cheerful, cool and fresh and not the sensory deprivation design you get in Sainsbury, Tecso and IKEA. It may break the stranglehold Sainsbury and Tecso have had on Bedford, and that can only be a good thing.
I also asked her how she would respond to Merv's latest inappropriate request. "XXXX off and don't come back." Good because that was pretty much what I said to him. At least the first bit - I think the second bit is implicit in the first.
The last text I had from him was a few weeks ago, in which he tells me to be more trusting. "Everything would go at your speed." How presumptuous is that? Not often I'm speechless! I didn't even answer it. I'm beginning to think he may have given up, which is a relief. |
Reply #4972. Aug 17 12, 4:42 AM
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tezza1551
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Lesley, reading back a few posts, it isn't only widows and divorcees whom some men think are desperate for "comfort".
When my late husband broke his hip in the early 1980s, I had several men turn up wanting to know if I needed help with stuff on the farm. A couple were genuine.. one rocked up one morning with his sheep feeder attached and loaded with grain.. and fed cattle and sheep for me, and another brought out a 44 gallon drum of petrol so I could afford to drive the 120 km to where my husband was in hospital more than once a fortnight.. but others turned up for far less neighbourly reasons.
Reply #4973. Aug 17 12, 5:47 AM
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| lesley153
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| Thank goodness for the real men. When your husband was mended, did you keep a mental note of the others? |
Reply #4974. Aug 17 12, 6:16 AM
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tezza1551
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Yes, Lesley, I did.. but funnily enough, they came back when he died a couple of years later... seemed to think a thirty seven year old woman would be easy game..I ordered one off the place with a rifle, so he told everyone i had lost my marbles lol !!
Reply #4975. Aug 17 12, 6:40 AM
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| lesley153
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The same men came back with the same ideas? Ugh.
Hurrah for the rifle - I love it.
He said you'd lost your marbles? Yes, men do that. I hope he threw in frigid and lesbian for luck. He wouldn't be a normal man if he forgot those two. I don't imagine for one moment that you let him get away with that either - or perhaps everyone who knew you treated him with the contempt he deserved. |
Reply #4976. Aug 17 12, 7:35 AM
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Jazmee27
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Five times? “Why was he phoning?”
That’s exactly what I wanted to know. The second time, maybe it could be assumed maybe we got disconnected, but not after that. I ended up very frustrated because apparently he wasn’t getting the message.
Had a conversation this weekend with a woman who was very quick on the uptake. After asking to talk to whoever it was, all I said was “no [she isn’t here]. “Did I call a wrong number?” “I’m afraid so.” She apologized and hung up.
There was the other time someone called my cell phone and left a message for someone named Brenda, as she had a question to ask her. I’’m not in the habit of checking my messages abfter every call (because some people simply hang up on my voice mail, and these are people I know!) So I called back immediately (that redial comes in handy) and she thought it was Brenda calling back. I explained that she had the wrong number because no one named Brenda lives here. Again, an apology followed by a click.
There was also that call from the lady who realized she had a wrong number and hung up before voice mail picked up. I calmly suggested she should have waited for the phone to be picked up, as I almost had. (I know people who would have yelled at her for hanging up on the caller ID). Yet another apology. (People are, for the most part, polite.)
Some people just don’t understand the English language, no matter how long they’ve been speaking it.
Schoolboy? I know schoolboys who are better behaved than that! [I’ll agree with the “boy” part.]
Unfortunately, he sounds kind of like my grandfather [highly inappropriate and doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. The last time my grandmother, who’s been divorced from him for years, told him anything, he told his son something that shouldn’t have been repeated. For that reason, Grandma got yelled at, and now she does more than just avoid “The Old Man.”
Reply #4977. Aug 17 12, 10:10 AM
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satguru
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I've only had offers from bargain basement or questionable sources for most of my adult life. I expected correctly to become less fussy and more accepting each decade I was single, in response the world has provided a similar number of offers from even lower levels than before, always just below what I'd accept. There does seem to be the hand of a very uncharitable power involved, and I would like to break the formula while I'm still young enough to make the best of it. If I could send the ex up your way maybe he'd be interested in her, she's almost divorced now and pretty desperate herself.
Reply #4978. Aug 17 12, 10:27 AM
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| C30
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Personally I wouldn't wish my ex on my worst enemy! On second thoughts, maybe my WORST enemy, but even Lesley's "mill stone" doesn't deserve that fate (though Lesley may disagree). Lol
Reply #4979. Aug 17 12, 10:52 AM
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| lesley153
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Sad when you think you can trust someone with a confidence, and they're incapable of cooperating. You just don't confide in them twice.
I've posted before about the man who wanted to marry me, when I was 22 and very happily single thank you very much, and took me home to meet his wife.
A few years ago, I had an offer from an ex I'd kept in touch with. He invited me to spend a few days with him and see him and his house and pets. Next week, because his wife's going away for a week to visit family. Really? How kind of you to ask.
Now they're all married or Merv. Thank you for offering, gentlemen, but save your train fares. If they did meet him, they might want revenge. |
Reply #4980. Aug 18 12, 6:47 PM
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