| lesley153
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| I hope not! People in NZ don't curtsey - they've got more sense. :) |
Reply #841. Jul 08 10, 9:24 AM
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| Lochalsh
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It does seem that we had a thudfest a while ago, and that poneke joined in. I don't know, though; I get dizzy with so much bowing and scraping. :)
Reply #842. Jul 08 10, 9:27 AM
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| lesley153
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| Poneke - are you all right? Speak to me! |
Reply #843. Jul 08 10, 9:42 AM
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| lesley153
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I have a knight in shining armour. People have offered to shop for me live a mile or two from me, and work all over the place.
Sandy lives three doors away, and drops her OH off at work early every morning, a few minutes away from the supermarket. Sometimes I asked her to get things for me. When I felt well enough, I would get them. Right now, I would do anything to be able to breathe and sleep properly, and I am in no fit state to drive. Who better to ask for help, than Sandy's OH, who lives three doors away from me, and works a few minutes away from the supermarket?
I gave him a list of a handful of staples. He dropped them off at five, and said "If there's anything else you want..."
The people next door are having a barbecue. I think it's a tribute to Homer Simpson - processed third-rate slaughterhouse floor sweepings. I hope they all get food-poisoning and die. |
Reply #844. Jul 08 10, 10:29 AM
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baldricksmum 
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It's so hard to ask for help, but when you do it's amazing how many people are only too pleased to do so. Most of us, seeing someone who's normally independent and capable, hesitate to offer help in case we cause offence.
Reply #845. Jul 08 10, 11:42 AM
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rayven80
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That's very true. And if you offer and the person is offended, it makes offering in the future that much harder.
Reply #846. Jul 08 10, 12:32 PM
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Deunan
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Then there are the people you reach out to and they just ignore the offer or become angry you offered.
Luckily, those are few and far between and the majority of people understand compassion and caring.
How are you feeling today, Lesley?
Reply #847. Jul 08 10, 12:41 PM
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| lesley153
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I'm much too thick to be offended! And embarrassingly grateful. It's not easy to ask for help unless you know you're a convincing heap.
I've never understood why anyone should be offended by an offer of help. There's nothing wrong with pride as long as you don't use it as a stick to beat other people with. And most people don't offer help with the intention to demean. Here's a nice quote I found on a forum post:
"I appreciate people who are civil, whether they mean it or not. I think: Be civil. Do not cherish your opinion over my feelings. There's a vanity to candor that isn't really worth it. Be kind." (Richard Greenberg)
Did I mention that Sandy is in America till early September?
Probably! Mentioned it and forgot. Her daughter lives in Virginia with her husband and their boy triplets, who are about six now. This year's stay is two months, and it'll probably take her the rest of the year to get over it. :) |
Reply #848. Jul 08 10, 12:52 PM
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| lesley153
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I'm also a very slow typist, because Deunan posted while I was still rattling away at the keyboard.
Some people would like to help if they knew what was wanted. Perhaps they think an "anything you need" offer of help will appear to vague to be genuine, or they're scared they really will be asked to do everything.
Eight years ago, I had a surgical repair and was told not to drive for three months. Argh! Every week, I had dropped Jonathan off at an orchestra rehearsal a mile away, and gone out again to bring him back at 9.30. Every week, a woman two doors away did exactly the same journey. I told her I couldn't drive, and would rather not have my early teenage son walking the streets at half-past nine with a violin, and could she please bring him home. She said "With pleasure - and I can take him there too." Which was really nice.
Thank you for asking. Today I am feeling rotten. I thought I was in decline till Thursday, but a local friend said how muggy it is - so perhaps that's why. I hope so. I shall get a bit fed up if I don't feel a bit better before I go in. |
Reply #849. Jul 08 10, 1:02 PM
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Rowena8482
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It has been so very hot though Lesley, I bet that has got something to do with how low you feel - and you are possibly doing the "subconscious stress" thing about the coming op too, without even knowing it. I always know when I do this because my eczema flares up, and I realise I've been worrying away about something with the back of my brain while the front deals with the day to day minutiae.
I was supposed to be a "laydee wot lunches" today but Emily started puking on Tuesday night and has only stopped at tea time today, and Z started puking at 1pm today and is still going :-| They have all been off school yesterday and today, but Mikey seems to be immune so far so is going tomorrow.
I now arrive (at last) at my point lol. I ran out of bread yesterday, and everything the kids wanted to eat needed some. I posted a "woe woe" on FB and at 12.00 there was a knock on the door and one of my friends was there with a loaf and a smile - it is the little things that make a difference, she turned a vile day into one I shall remember for a happy reason, just with one little thing :-D
end ramble lol
Reply #850. Jul 08 10, 4:31 PM
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| lesley153
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I'm sure that's a lot of it, the heat.
I'm sitting at the back garden end of the dining room, the coolest spot in the house. Directly outside the window is a square patch bounded on three sides by the back of the house, the wall of the kitchen, and a bit of stucco wall between us and our knuckle-dragging neighbours. This patch never gets the sun on it, and is never warm. I opened the window and hot air flooded in.
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Yes to the stress too. Not only the stress at needing an update on surgery I had 13 years ago, and knowing that it has got to go well - there is no alternative - but also knowing how much time I've lost because of other people's blind stupidity or ignorance or arrogance. The ambulance crews didn't know what to do with me then, so they didn't. Once left me anti-inflammatories because a crew member decided that I had backache. They came back and shouted at my poor beleaguered H for not making me take them.
"She takes them and brings them up again. She isn't keeping anything down."
That's no excuse. It's your job to make sure she keeps them down."
Huh? And he still thought it was simple backache? Yes!
Another crew took me to the hospital, left me behind a curtain for half an hour, and took me home again. By the time I was admitted, nobody could understand a word I was saying, and I didn't know what day it was. Mr Dunning, my surgeon at Papworth, is a miracle-worker. Must have been, to repair me then, the state I was in. Lucky me, I've got him again. :)
There is always the nagging thought that, if a competent ambulance crew had applied some of their extensive training plus intelligence to reading the signs, I'd have got earlier diagnosis and earlier treatment, the endocarditis would have been sent packing with antibiotics - not surgery. I know a man who went on an orchestra trip to Germany when he was 16. On the final morning, he started vomiting at breakfast time. A gastric specialist GP was called, and arrived mid-morning. He said it's not gastric - it's cardiac. The cardiac specialist arrived around mid-day and said it's endocarditis. Makes the NHS look like a buch of amateurs.
Fast forward to spring 2009. I tell Dr Jamu that I can't breathe or sleep, and he throws me a prescription for antibiotics. He sends me on wild goose chases all over Bedford hospital, to see anyone ending with ology. He got it right once, by pure guesswork, but the cardiologist got it horribly horribly wrong, and Jamu didn't have the courage of his convictions - he didn't have any convictions - just carried on guessing. I wrote and blooged about tem as they were happening. Once day, I may put them all together. Anyone who doesn't laugh will be crying.
One year on, I'm in Bedford hospital, being taken seriously, and getting all the tests that have ever been invented. I have lost a year.
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My apologies to all the people who screamed at me to dump Dr Jamu and get a proper doctor, while I was saying I would give him the benefit of the doubt because his superior knowledge and expensive education were certain to come up with a solution that a mere mortal like me would never think of. If I had continued to do that, I don't think I'd be here now. I've suggested that to a couple of medical people, and they've agreed with me - without a hint of a smile.
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There is also a hint of family stress. When Jonathan was 14, I had a repair done, and he was adamant that he wanted to be with family, because he was convinced that I would come out feet first. When he was 16, he had spine surgery not far from where my brother lives, and I was inexpressibly grateful for my brother's company during the operation.
I was on the phone to my SIL about a week ago, just before the pre-admission clinic, and she suggested I ask bro to keep me company.
"Where is Papworth - somewhere in London?" SIL thinks everything is in London.
No thanks, it's only a morning of routine tests, and he has got work to go to. I'll tell you who might be hugely grateful for the company - Jonathan on the day of my op. I talk to bro (at least he knows Papworth isn't in London). He doesn't want to drive there, because SIL has just started a new job, and needs the car to get there, so he'll take the train. Can Jonathan pick him up from ... a station?
And then I tell Jonathan, who says his girlfriend is keeping him company. So I ring my SIL and she says bro has already taken the day off...
Jonathan doesn't need to drive 20 miles to the hospital then go off to look out for his uncle at some station (don't know which one yet) and I shouldn't be worrying about it.
My fault, of course, for making the suggestion without talking to my son, but I still shouldn't be worrying about it. I left a voice message suggesting that my bro take the car on Sunday and make it a normal visit. I haven't spoken to any of them since. [quiet scream]
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I did see that Emily was puking, but I didn't realise that she'd shared it. I also saw the bit about needing bread and making chocolate-covered cornflakes instead. I didn't see that someone came round with some and will definitely be going to heaven! You didn't say anything about the concert. Did you get there? enjoy it?
I didn't see this post either till today. I went to bed at 9.30 [gasp] and had to listen to an hour of knuckle-dragger TV at high volume. They've taken their ugly voices into the garden now. They seem to think that paying rent and rated gives them carte blanche to do anything they want whenever they want. Oh no it doesn't! Perhaps one day they'll all get drunk, fall in the river Ouse and die.
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Reply #851. Jul 09 10, 7:59 AM
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| Professer
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Lesley have shown you what a good doctor does with way mine has dealt with me, just had another phone call as it is need i have a blood test prior to my hospital follow up. Said i was un sure whe follow up is as do not have a ppointment as yet.
Reply #852. Jul 09 10, 9:10 AM
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| lesley153
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| Looks like they are, at last, determined to find out what ails you. At last! |
Reply #853. Jul 09 10, 9:26 AM
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| lesley153
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| I hope poneke is OK, and has come out of her thud. |
Reply #854. Jul 09 10, 9:30 AM
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| Lochalsh
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Yes, that was a thudden thud Poneke took, and now we have no follow-up.
Reply #855. Jul 09 10, 9:44 AM
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| lesley153
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Very early this morning - about 6am - I had a little orange fruity, a clementine or something, a bowl of gluten-free breakfast cereal, and a glass of the most delicious smoothie: apple, kiwi and line. Nice, but I couldn't keep them down. After that, I kept drinking, but didn't eat anything.
Three hours ago, I puked about a gallon of water. I toasted a slice of gluten-free white bread, and ate it with a walnut-sized piece of very strong Cheddar. They took an hour to eat. So far, so good.
But I still feel really rough, so I'm going to leave you to it, and to flop in bed. Night all! |
Reply #856. Jul 09 10, 3:48 PM
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Deunan
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'Night, Lesley.
Reply #857. Jul 09 10, 4:03 PM
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guitargoddess
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I've just gotten all caught up on reading your blog (don't know how I missed so much!). Sorry you've been feeling poorly again, but please try not to stress so much about time wasted being undiagnosed and misdiagnosed! You'll be treated now, that's the important part! (Suggestion - perhaps your old GP watches too much television and thinks he's House, following random, ridiculous theories instead of the obvious?) I've forgotten, when is the actual operation? I don't know how long you'll be in recovery or out of commission, but would your son consider leaving us a message here immediately following your op, just to let us know you're fine, and then we shall patiently for more detail from you when you're up to it?
Reply #858. Jul 09 10, 4:30 PM
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honeybee4
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Lesley promise, if you keep feeling like that, you will call someone for help instead of waiting for your hospital stay.
Reply #859. Jul 09 10, 4:38 PM
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Rowena8482
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Hopefully by now you are managing to have a nice sleep, and have stopped puking! Emily has but stayed home today, and M and Z went to school and nursery without mishap so fingers crossed the vile germ has gone. (That could even be stress too! Myself, my mam, and my nanna, all have a 'nervous stomach' in that when we stress out about something, we start to puke - randomly, and at round about half hour intervals, for anything up to 4 days! My last episode was when I was taking my exams)
Anywa, I have got a lovely piece of juciy fresh gossip for you, and I will tell you tomorrow (heee a little suspense is good for the soul...) suffice it to say now that a certain person turned up in the pub today at lunch time... with news... :-D
Reply #860. Jul 09 10, 5:25 PM
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