_Morpheus_ 
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Like myself, you may be wondewing how a viwtual blog differs from a non viwtual blog. I didn't weally know, so I ask Elmer.
If you can touch it and you can see it, it's WEAL.
If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPAWENT.
If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIWTUAL.
If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.
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Reply #1. Jun 22 10, 4:40 PM
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flopsymopsy
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What's up, Doc?
Reply #2. Jun 22 10, 4:49 PM
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MarchHare007
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Is it Duck season?
Reply #3. Jun 22 10, 5:13 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Hoooooowdy flopsy and Marchhare. How's all y'all? You'll have to excuse Elmer and I are still a fixin' up our new digs.
I've got to put posters up and find a handy place for the keg cooler fore I'm ready for cathartic musings. Tomorrow we should be ready to rock n roll or lock and load whatever the case may be. Right now it's happy hour .... |
Reply #4. Jun 22 10, 5:47 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Well, I guess I ought tell you a little bit about myself to kick things off.
I'm right handed.(Is that little enough?)
I CAN divide zero.
I'm big into retro when it comes to music and games, but I also gotta have the latest and greatest electronics and computers.
I sing along with music in my truck, and sometimes even accompany myself on the air guitar.(got a ticket for that once)
I think creativity is more important than intelligence
I've been told that I walk too fast.
I don't smoke or drink. (the not drinking part is not true)
I am, however, bored so I'm outta here. |
Reply #5. Jun 23 10, 3:46 PM
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jolana
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No, you can´t divide zewwo. Then, you would be better than Chuck Nowwis, which you awwen´t.
Reply #6. Jun 23 10, 4:22 PM
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_Morpheus_
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You've got to be kidding. Chuck Norris can do that too?
Crap, I thought only myself and l'Hopital knew. |
Reply #7. Jun 23 10, 5:31 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Bread the Silent Killer &
Half baked Truths
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* In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
* Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
* Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month.
* Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
* Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
* Today more than 98 percent of convicted felons are daily bread users.
* Fifty percent of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
* Greater than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of consuming bread.
* Newborn babies can choke on bread.
* Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:
~ No sale of bread to minors.
~ A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
~ A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
~ No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
~ The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
Sources: various and sundry internets |
Reply #8. Jun 24 10, 9:12 AM
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doublemm
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Down with bread! No more yeast!
Reply #9. Jun 25 10, 2:23 PM
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doublemm
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PS the ticket for air guitar made me laugh! ;)
Reply #10. Jun 25 10, 2:23 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Good to "see" you again Deuce. What's shaking?
As for the ticket, when the officer presented me with it, it made me laugh too. Bad Idea!
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Reply #11. Jun 25 10, 5:42 PM
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_Morpheus_
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| Just about everybody and his brother has weighed in on the BP oil leak except Joe the plumber. What's the deal? I thought this was your area of expertise? Fix it Dude! |
Reply #12. Jun 25 10, 5:46 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Perception is the key
"To see a World in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour."
Blake |
Reply #13. Jun 26 10, 10:58 AM
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_Morpheus_
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| Still trying to get the bugs out of my blog. Stay tuned. |
Reply #14. Jun 26 10, 11:08 AM
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_Morpheus_
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Couldn't be better Hare! Thanks for the bug spray.
Drop in anytime! |
Reply #16. Jun 27 10, 4:44 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Then the nightmare started.
I can remember opening the “Gift” like it was yesterday. It was a birthday gift, of sorts, from my ever thoughtful mom. After a month or so of not answering the phone so I wouldn’t have to listen to a bunch of lame Mel Gibson jokes, I’m finally OK with talking about the “Gift.”
Me and a bunch of my friends had been planning a mud volleyball game to coincide with my Bday , figuring it was as good an excuse as any to knock back a few brews, chill out and get nasty dirty. We were all having a good old time when my cell rings. It was my mom who said she had forgotten to give me one of my gifts and she would just drop it off on the way home from work. By the time she shows up we were all real muddy and well lubricated. She walks up wearing something that looked like it came from fru fru Sachs Fifth Ave or some such. She motions everyone to circle round and wishes me happy birthday AGAIN. OK, that’s that I’m thinking. Nooooooo, she wasn’t having any of that. “Open it dear” So mud and all I ripped the paper off and arrrrh...... “What the....is that a miniskirt? You mean you got me a skirt?”
I can hear Tim or Thad cat calling in the background. “Reassuringly she says, It’s not a skirt. It’s a kilt.” I start fumbling around with the gift box and wrapping paper. “ What are you doing?” “I’m looking for the receipt?” “Why?” she asks. “MOM, think about it.” Now the jokes and stuff are getting really crude. I can hear on some of the girls chanting, “Try it on, Try it on.” Another yells, “TWIRL”. I look out of the corner of my eye and mom is walking away blowing me kisses. Then it dawns on me...she just paid me back for the fish net bikini from two years ago!
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Reply #17. Jun 27 10, 4:46 PM
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baban
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So are you going to wear your kilt like a true Scotsman would? ;) :D
Oh, and belated 'Happy Birthday', I guess I must have forgotten :o
Reply #18. Jun 30 10, 12:58 PM
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_Morpheus_
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Hi Baban! I hope all is well at home?
To answer your question, I'm not very kiltish but I'll try anything once; Did that and put it away. I think you need to be a big burly guy like Liam Neeson to do justice to the kilt. Another thing, given the cold damp nature of Scotland I'd have goose bumps on my legs the size of golf balls. |
Reply #19. Jun 30 10, 3:45 PM
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_Morpheus_
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| Man, I wish O'Bama would have checked with me before posting another General to Afghanistan. I would have sent Chuck Norris. Meaning, If it ain't broke it soon will be. A couple of well placed round house kicks and we would ,definitely, be outta there! |
Reply #20. Jun 30 10, 3:54 PM
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