Jazmee27 
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#952:
That could very well be (it makes sense to me). And yes, venting helps.
When mom's relationship with Edy was going sour, that may have triggered something, to (I know I became aware of the hyperawareness around that time [it
was the summer of 2007, and I had just come home from the nursing home in June after breaking my leg the end of March. The abnormal psych class wasn't
until fall of 2009, as the college didn't want to allow me back on campus without a personal assistant, as if fearing that if I fell again, even though
I always accepted responsibility myself and never blamed anybody over there, I would sue them (how ridiculous that this is the type of society we've become!)
I think, though, that I repressed the memories still because I wasn't alone-aside from mom and Edy, his two children lived with us.] I do remember lying
awake at night, even long after he had left in August, straining to hear the slightest noise [like I said, that's wen I became aware that there was a problem].
(During one conversation with mom, I let it slip that I had begun comparing Edy to Mike [she brushed the notion aside and defended Edy's character, saying
how "he's not a bad person" [the disturbing thing is that she did the same with Mike Tuesday evening: "He's not well (as if mental illness excuses the
damage he did])]
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Reply #2601. Dec 06 11, 5:21 PM
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Jazmee27
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Mom subscribes to the "the past is the past, leave it there" belief
I neglected to tell her about Crisis,because I was afraid she wouldn't understand (she's not insensitive, but on certain issues we just don't agree). For some, it's harder to leave the past behind and move on.
I told her tonight, and she got hurt because I hadn't mentioned it before.
She claims to "know all about" triggers and flashbacks, but "you need to control them." Really? And just how does one do that?
Mom would have liked me to confide fully in her at the time, but there are certain matters I'm just not comfortable discussing (tonight, though, even though my voice was hesitant I looked her straight in the eye-well, as much as a person with a sight impairment can, that is.
I got a fish fillet su from Marco's
Mom brought over:
- 3 packages of meatloaf from the Butcher Shop
- 2 containers of acaroni and cheese with sausage on top "made by yours truly"
- A big container of party mix
I'm sure I'll be getting a lot of stuff in the next few weeks (the holidays last year, I got a lot of cookies and other goodies)
I'm going to try not to eat so much when I'm stressed, as I know that's the reason my jeans no longer fit. And I'll try even harder to get into a routine with the exercise.
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Reply #2602. Dec 06 11, 7:24 PM
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Jazmee27
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Georgette's not coming Saturday because she's spending the day with her sister
Mom likes a picture her mother took of her laughing. She's standing, bent over, with her hands between her legs, and laughter on her face. "It's like a full belly laugh, but I'm standing. Can you imagine?"
She needs a picture of herself from when she was little, something for work. They're going to put up photos and have peple guess who they are.
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Reply #2603. Dec 06 11, 7:50 PM
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Jazmee27
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I need to get off this computer
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Reply #2604. Dec 06 11, 8:42 PM
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Jazmee27
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Reply #2605. Dec 07 11, 10:01 AM
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Jazmee27
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Somehow deleted the email with my password :(
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Reply #2606. Dec 07 11, 10:20 AM
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Jazmee27
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Everywhere I go, there's somebody who knows Mom--most from work, but not all.
And there are the people who know me, but I have no clue who they are.
Small world? I'd say!
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Reply #2607. Dec 07 11, 10:34 AM
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Jazmee27
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Reply #2608. Dec 07 11, 3:13 PM
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Jazmee27
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On side a of tape 15
The idea incorporates some from an older version of "Village Streets."
The action takes place five years before the other tapes-in other words, they're younger when they see the simulated scenarios. When the simulation is over, they realize (a) none of it has happened yet, (b) Alonso hasn't been found yet.
An interesting dynamic is that Devlyn and Maria, now 16 and 17, despise each other. More than once, one or the other will remark that they have to tolerate each other if they're to find the missing child.
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Reply #2609. Dec 08 11, 8:58 AM
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Jazmee27
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Lori from Consumer Satisfaction Services called to remind me she's coming at 2:30. She said before it wouldn't take long. Today she said the survey's about ten minutes.
I let Mom know last night about the meeting. "For future reference, you don't have to do anything." That was made perfectly clear from the outset. I willingly agreed to do it. "Oh, well..."
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Reply #2610. Dec 08 11, 10:33 AM
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Jazmee27
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Wanted to see "Unusual Suspects" on Investigation Discovery at ten. What an interesting case! (just how that will incorporate in my stories is unknown, but inevitable)
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Reply #2611. Dec 08 11, 10:35 AM
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Jazmee27
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Groceries delivered earlier, chicken dinner among them
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Reply #2612. Dec 08 11, 1:32 PM
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Jazmee27
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Charging the Digital Talking Book Player
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Reply #2613. Dec 08 11, 1:32 PM
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Jazmee27
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Reply #2614. Dec 08 11, 2:27 PM
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Jazmee27
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Team Purple Ninjas is down by one (I'm not even sure when he/she switched teams, as I don't normally check the team page *unless* I've just played my tourney)
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Reply #2615. Dec 08 11, 3:05 PM
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Jazmee27
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Grandma and I have something new to talk about: "X Factor."
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Reply #2616. Dec 08 11, 8:45 PM
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Jazmee27
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On "World's Dumbest Criminals" tonight, which was a re-run, there was one about a man who steals a turtle from a pet shop by slipping it into his pants. The next day, the guy's mother returns the turtle, apologizes to the store, and turns him over to police.
She kept saying, "I can't believe he did that." |
Reply #2617. Dec 08 11, 8:49 PM
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Jazmee27
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No one but me played the team games today :(
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Reply #2618. Dec 08 11, 9:19 PM
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Jazmee27
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Imagine my surprise when Mom told me she watched "X Factor" on Wednesday night.
I asked Grandma the other night if she ad any thoughts; she said no, but lastnight when I spoke to her after the show she said she'd have preferred Marcus go home and not Rachel.
Mom, on the other hand, is glad Rachel went home: "It was time for her to go."
I haven't really seen enough to form an opinion.
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Reply #2619. Dec 09 11, 10:28 AM
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Jazmee27
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Last night was the first time I can remember having a lucid dream
At 12:30 or 1, I heard a noise like the tailgate on a pickup or dump truck or something. I also heard an angry voice.
I remember twisting around to hear better, as the left ear is my bad ear.
When I fellback to sleep, immediately it seems, I heard (a) a buzzing in my left ear--this is how I knew a dream was coming; the analogy in my one book, close to this, is of bees buzzing in her head, I heard "Love Somebody" by Michael Boulton, real clear as if I was listening to it right then.
Note: "Love Somebody" was one of the songs on the tape I used to listen to in an attempt to drown out the sounds of violence on the other side of the wall, and is from "Timeless Classics".
I remember hearing the bird chirping this morning, trying to wake me up, and I just lay there, unable to move. I just couldn't force myself to get up.
WhenI did, I came into the living room, thinking that there was no other explanation to the dream I'd had.
There had to be at least one beating, otherwise my stories wouldn't be as graphic as they are.
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Reply #2620. Dec 09 11, 10:43 AM
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