Jazmee27 
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Hi, izzy50, hope you’re having a good day.
I took a Naproxen earlier for pain, and often find that, when I’m up and moving, unless I think about it I don’t even notice it.
I’ve been invited to New Year’s at Mom’s, but as of yet haven’t given her my answer.
- When I’m there, I feel like a little girl who needs her hand held. I can’t even use the commode without Mom hovering in the bac,kground. Part of the problem is the balance, but another is the less-than-satisfactory plumbing. (It’s better than it was, or Mom wouldn’t have us there at all…) And if I need to use the bathroom when Mom’s still sleeping, I have to wake her because the guest room’s too close to the stairs—I can almost see the disaster that will result when I’m half asleep and turn in the wrong direction.
- I didn’t have the same problem when I lived there, as my room was at the end of the hall and as long as I stayed as close as I could to the other wall, I was certain I wouldn’t fall (but I’m sure Mom lived in constant fear that I’d fall sideways and begin a quick descent down that steep staircase anyway).
- It’s always been too bad there was never a bathroom on the first floor (cut out the basement, acdd that, and “this old house” might just be friendlier to me).
- Tiffany’s also been invited, but she doesn’t know what she’s doing (her uncle normally has a reunion that weekend, but she’s not sure if he is or not). Of concern to her is (a) she doesn’t like the idea of driving after midnight, and (b) her dog will be all alone that day, as her brother won’t be there (and, I suspect, even were he to be home it may not be the most ideal situation as “the poor dog” is now terrified of Kyle).
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Reply #2741. Dec 28 11, 11:28 AM
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Jazmee27
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Forgot to mention that it's very windy :(
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Reply #2742. Dec 28 11, 11:33 AM
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bloodandsand
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It's really windy over here too, Jazmee. You never know, you might have a really good time at your mum's house to celebrate the New Year. I often find that the things I look least forward to turn out to be much better than I ever expected.
Reply #2743. Dec 28 11, 11:40 AM
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Jazmee27
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Thanks Bev, that's probably true. Maybe it's that I've only slept in that guest room once, when trying out the bed that was in there, and that the bed in there now is my old one that at the time I moved needed a box spring. (I suspect I gave up the bed as well because it brings back bad memories-or I thought it would, at any rate.)
Fact is, I would have stayed at Mom's last year had she not gotten that nasty GI virus and had to cancel her New Year's celebration.
I further suspect that, no matter what, I'll accept Mom's offer, because if I don't I'll probably be upset with myself all day Saturday-and Sunday.
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Reply #2744. Dec 28 11, 12:19 PM
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Jazmee27
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I can't believe it's almost New Year's; time just flew!
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Reply #2745. Dec 28 11, 6:13 PM
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Jazmee27
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Just began a book by Alice Hoffman called Incantation.
Here are selected passages from it, starting with the poem inside the front cover:
- “I thought I knew the world./I thought I knew myself/I thought I knew my dearest friend./But I knew nothing at all.” –EstrellaDe’/Madrigal; Spain, 1900
- “If every life is a river, then it’s little wonder that we do not even notice the changes that occur until we are far out in the darkest sea. One day you look around and nothing is familiar, not even your own face.”
- “I have crossed over to a place I never thought I’d be. I am someone I would have never imagined.A secret. A dream. I am this, body and soul. Burn me. Drown me. Tell me lies. I will still be who I am.”
- “A monster is hard to see and even harder to kill. It takes time to grow so huge, time to crawl up into the open air. People will tell you it’s not there; you’re imagining things. But a book is a book. Pages are pages. Hawks are hawks. Doves are doves.
”Hatred is hatred.”
- “Some lies were to hurt and some were to heal, my grandmother told me. I wasn’t so sure.”
- “Just because something is unspoken doesn’t mean that it disappears.”
- ‘”Once you know some things, you can’t unknown them. It’s a burden that can never be given away.”’
- ‘”We kept silent because we didn’t want you to carry the burden before you had to.”’
- ‘”This kind of knowing you can never tell anyone. If you want us to survive, you cannot trust a soul.”’
- “I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a mistake for people like us to be tied to a place. If we weren’t meant to be ready and willing to wander. If everything we needed was contained in who we were.
”And what we remembered.”
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Reply #2746. Dec 28 11, 10:28 PM
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Jazmee27
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Reply #2747. Dec 29 11, 12:57 PM
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Jazmee27
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More exerpts:
- “I thought my grandmother might have been right in what she once told me. ‘You think you know somebody, but what do you know? Only what they want to show you. Remember, it’s what’s inside that matters.”’
- “We all grieve alone.”
- ‘”You run once, what makes you think you won’t have to run all the rest of your life?”’
- ‘”We live moment to moment… Everything changes. One minute we are part of the river, and the next we are joined with the sea.”’
- ‘”Nothing is easy in this world.”’
- ‘”Every time someone forgets, someone else disappears.”’
- “You cannot disprove the ridiculous. You cannot argue reasonably with evil.”
- “One gift deserves another in return. So my mother had taught me, and so I believed.”
- “
- “We cannot have roots in the earth of any country, only in the garden that we carry inside us.”
- “She thought love and hatred were equal.”
- ‘”May you know another’s suffering, may you know it all the days of your life, now and forever, until you understand what you have done.”’
- ‘”Don’t you see? No one will be left. Protect them now or there will be no one to protect!”
- “That was what they wanted.. Suffering. They gave to us all eternity to cry for what we lost.”
- “Everyone is made from dust and everyone returns to it. That is what she [my mother] told me, and that was what I believed.”
- “She [my grandmother] said this world was a hole of darkness, of black light and evil and loss.”
- “Forgetting them [those we’d lost] was the real evil. That was the hole of darkness.”
- “Everything we knew condemned us, and our questioning condemned us most of all. It was the way of our people, and knowledge was dangerous. It was the thing that freed you and the thing that put you in peril.”
- “Some people say, ‘Save yourself and you save your life.’ I say, ‘Be yourself and you save your soul.”’
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Reply #2748. Dec 29 11, 2:10 PM
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Jazmee27
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Woke up with a sore throat :(
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Reply #2749. Dec 30 11, 10:43 AM
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Jazmee27
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Reply #2750. Dec 30 11, 1:24 PM
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postal315
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Those excerpts are certainly some "deep thoughts" I found them very interesting and something to mull over.
When we get a little older, we want to spare the next generation some of the trial and error we had. Suddenly the language has changed and the things we want to say don't have the same meaning as we intend. o the mesage is ignored or worse, misunderstood.
Better to wait to dispense our "wisdom" until the person seeks the answers from us.
Reply #2751. Dec 30 11, 1:32 PM
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Jazmee27
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“Better to wait to dispense our "wisdom" until the person seeks the answers from us.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Grandma called earlier to see if I was feeling better. By then, Mom was here:
- “I have some things for you.” (some medicine to alleviate my symptoms, a container of homemade soup, and three salads with turkey and cheese on them; also three magazines: ‘Short Stories,’ ‘Conundrum,’ and ‘Science News’ that were downstairs)
- I told Mom I didn’t feel like answering, and a few seconds later her phone began to ring—Grandma does that a lot, calling me if she can’t get ahold of Mom, and vise versa). Mom told her I’d been napping before she got here, and that she was in the process of sweeping my floor).
I’m beginning to suspect that part of me realized I wasn’t feeling good, and that’s why I didn’t want to go to New Year’s. (I did tell Mom that I will go if I feel better.)
I now know that, if I don’t go, they’ll understand.
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Reply #2752. Dec 30 11, 4:18 PM
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Jazmee27
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Reply #2754. Dec 30 11, 7:06 PM
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Jazmee27
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I made the decision to stay home: "I hate to say it,but I don't think I can make it." Mom jokingly told me they'll write down New Year's Resolutions (10 of them) for me. She also said, "Don't worry; there *will* be meatballs for you." And she also said she'll be over tomorrow to bring me some more over-the-countercold medication. "It's the only over-the-counter stuff I can take because I have high blood pressure." (I kind of suspected it was the stuff she was taking before she went to the doctor.)
I told Mom I had hoped I would feel better for tonight, but that I now hope I'll feel better for Monday, as Tiffany's coming over again.
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Reply #2755. Dec 31 11, 1:23 PM
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Jazmee27
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Happy New Year, everyone. Looking ahead to 2012...
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Reply #2756. Dec 31 11, 1:26 PM
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postal315
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Happy New Year to you also Jazmee. rying to make each year better than the last, even in a small way.
I too had a low key celebration. I don't drink at all. We had fireworks in the neighborhood as it's legal this far out of town. Watched some TV and saw in the New Year. Then off to dreamland.
Reply #2757. Jan 01 12, 2:43 AM
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Jazmee27
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Happy 2012!
“When your world turns upside-down,” just focus on making the best of what you’ve got… That’s all anyone can do.
I feel mostly better than I did (aside from that stupid thing called post-nasal drip—Mom knows all about that).
And speaking of Mom, she didn’t get to bed till 4:15, so went back to bed after I talked to her.
Time to get a bath, then I need to call Mom and make sure she didn’t lapse into a coma or anything (I think it’s safe to assume I’m better if I can joke around).
Last night, I got to speak to everyone when I called—I said hello, then called an hour or so later to say good night. The guest list was:
- Uncle Michael
- Cathy (Mom’s friend, whom I haven’t met yet, and was looking forward to meeting me for the first time last night [we talked about how colds are going around, then said we’d meet some other time])
- Edward
- Elysha (she wished me better, then asked if my number was the same [I replied that she never called me, and she took my number down again])
- Lainkan
- Grandma (she answered the phone with, “Guess who?” “I don’t need to guess who you are!”)
- Charlie and Anita (They almost didn’t make it in, as he was called to work-I got to speak to them when I called to say good night)
- Crystal (I didn’t get to speak to her, and didn’t even know she was there until my second call; I forgot her name [blame it on the sickness], and asked Mom to say hi for me)
- Noah (he was playing “peek-a-boo” with Mom, and she was redirecting him [“Noah, sit here” “Noah, get away from there”]; I commented that she had her hands full, and she just laughed; I also told her she’s great with children, which I hadn’t noticed before, to which she replied, “Perhaps because I am one.” “Oh, is that it? That makes sense!”
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Reply #2758. Jan 01 12, 10:27 AM
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Jazmee27
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Mom's taking a nap while I wash dishes. Then, once I call her, she'll make the mashed potatoes and come over with some food for me.
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Reply #2759. Jan 01 12, 1:31 PM
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Jazmee27
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Mom brought over hot dogs and sauerkraut, along with two containers of meatballs and hash brown casserole, two containers of dirt dessert, and two cheesecakes. Oh, and a freezer bag of potato chips. (So dinner was a hot dog with kraut, a handful of chips, and dirt. (Mom didn't make mashed potatoes yet; she'll bring them tomorrow)
Can't wait for Tiffany to get here
Mom's off tomorrow, so we'll do the laundry at some point (I reminded her I don't have quarters; she only says I told her once-I remember at least twice)
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Reply #2760. Jan 01 12, 6:13 PM
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