In another thread, turbotude said "Now that I'm older and 'wiser', I've learned to separate the emotions and am sleeping better since jettisoning 'friends' that only called on me when they thought I was there to serve them, but couldn't be bothered with BEING a friend." And lesley said "That's worth a thread of its own!" And I agree, so I thought I'd get the ball rolling. I had a bit of an "epiphany" a few years ago when a friend of mine made some pertinent comments about friendship being a two-way street and I realised that I had some friends who were takers rather than givers. With one friend, I realised that it was always me who phoned her, me who visited her, never the other way round. So I decided not to phone or visit her, but to wait to see how long it would be before she phoned or visited me. Years later I am still waiting. And it proved to be no loss at all. I see her occasionally down at the shops and I am polite and say hello, but I don't encourage the friendship any more. I had another friend who was a real drama queen. We went to school together so we have been friends for over 40 years. Her life was and is one long soap opera and I have always been there for her. One night, I was as sick as a dog, and she phoned me after midnight because she had had a row with her husband and walked out on him. I ascertained that she was safe (staying with another long-suffering friend) and then I told her that I was sick and I couldn't stay on the phone. She was so mad that she hung up on me. I thought "For all these years I've been there for her through thick and thin, and the first time I need her to be understanding of my needs, she hangs up on me". So I withdrew from that friendship too. Once again, if I bump into her at the shops, I'll say hello but not linger. And I've never missed either of them!