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Topic: Advice For Bachelors
This thread has been closed to new replies by moderator gtho4.


Posted by: daver852

Subject: Advice For Bachelors
Date: Apr 06 12

This my second attempt at starting a blog. My first was less than successful, as it was deleted after one day, which may be a record. This time I will avoid anything even remotely political.

Note: this is a blog directed towards men. Women are are welcome to read it, of course, but my audience is intended to be those fortunate men who, like myself, have avoided the snare of matrimony.

My inspiration for this blog is the fact that I have of late been suffering from a potentially life-threatening disease called "the common cold." During my convalescence I have been re-reading P.J. O'Rourke's essential tome, "The Bachelor Home Companion." If you are male, unmarried, and over 18, you need to own this book. It contains sound advice on many subjects. It occured to me, however, that it was last revised nearly 20 years ago, so it is somwhat dated, and some important topics are not covered at all.

I cannot begin to match Mr. O'Rourke's profound wisdom, nor the scope of his endevour. But I hope that I can offer some advice that will prove useful to the unmarried 21st century male.

Note again: as I am (by the grace of God) an American, many of my topics will be USA specific. If you are living in New Zealand, for instance, and seek advice on sheep herding, I am afraid my insights will prove to be of little use to you. Since many aspects of the unfettered joys of bachelorhood are universal, however, it is my hope that all may benefit to some degree.



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374 replies. On page 8 of 19 pages. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
Creedy

Who's Diora Baird?

Reply #141. Apr 15 12, 12:36 AM

Creedy

She sounds Scottish

Reply #142. Apr 15 12, 12:37 AM

Mommakat

Well whatever she is she has certainly made Daver "skittish" LOL

Reply #143. Apr 15 12, 12:53 AM

C30 Sometimes you know, we males are tempted to "Boldly go" when common sense dictates otherwise, where most males have been before...........so I shall just add my few penneth to this thread.

One thing Daver's excellent posting missed out, is a thing that often caused me grief throughout life, and that is, how in an argument, any woman worth her salt can quote word for word anything that was said, DECADES in the past. The average male has in the meantime not only forgotten what was said, but also forgotten what the heck it was about to start with. The fair sex, bless them, can always be relied upon to enlighten us............."YOU SAID..............".
Sigh!

One thing I will heartily agree with, is the "silent routine" indication that the male is "in it".........in fact "in it" to such a depth even a JCB couldn't dig him out! "What's wrong"? "Nothing" "Is it........?" "NOTHING".
Oh boy.......it will hit the fan any moment. "Is it something....."? "YOU know.......YOU said (or did, or indicated, or .....). Off we go! Lol





Reply #144. Apr 15 12, 1:56 AM

Creedy

Oh lol you are SO right! The female of the species was endowed with a superb long term memory centre in her brain. We remember the most inconvenient (for the male of the species ie) things.

Give up, lads. You'll never win one of those arguments.

Reply #145. Apr 15 12, 2:14 AM

daver852

C30, you are absolutely correct. I would have mentioned the facts that you bring up, but I was running out of space. An argument with a woman is a lot like chicken pox; you think you're over it, and 20 years later, you get shingles. They carry grudges a lot longer than men.

Who is Diora Baird? Only a woman would ask a question like that! She is the living embodiment of the goals to which all women should aspire. And she is not Scottish; much like the Divine Shannen, she is 100% American:

http://diorabairdfan.com/

Finally, it is not true than a man NEVER wins an argument with a woman. It is rumored that a man Latvia won an argument with his girlfriend in 1957; we are still looking for documtary proof.

Reply #146. Apr 15 12, 7:27 AM

daver852

That should be "a man in Latvia." Not a man named Latvia. The keys on my computer are sticking again. Probably because of my habit of typing while eating doughnuts.

Reply #147. Apr 15 12, 7:29 AM

Creedy

I was wondering which cruel mother had named her son thus.

And now I can't stop thinking of Johnny Cash.

Reply #148. Apr 15 12, 7:42 AM

Creedy

Goodness, I just looked up Diora Baird.

How DOES she keep her balance? I'd fall flat on my face.

Reply #149. Apr 15 12, 7:48 AM

trojan11 Well, Daver, I don't know about the "winning an arguement," thing, but the Arabs seem to have got over that little poroblem by covering their womens faces with masks and sacks. D'you think it worth a try?

Reply #150. Apr 15 12, 7:52 AM

dippo

"How DOES she keep her balance? I'd fall flat on my face."

I don't think she would!

Reply #151. Apr 15 12, 7:58 AM

Mommakat

You beat me to it Dippo I was just thinking the same thing. LOL

Reply #152. Apr 15 12, 8:03 AM

Creedy

Boing, boing, boing!

Reply #153. Apr 15 12, 8:41 AM

daver852

Trojan, the Arabs may be on to something there, but, on the other hand, they have up to FOUR wives. Four. One woman is trouble enough.

I'm not sure if Diora is a member of FunTrivia, but if she is, and is reading this, please know that I love you for your winning personality and comedic talents, not for your voluptuous body. Email me!

Reply #154. Apr 15 12, 9:01 AM

daver852

By the way, those are real:

http://www.giftsandfreeadvice.com/free_advice/diora-baird-breasts-are-natural-big-breasts-based-on-clinical-online-research/

Reply #155. Apr 15 12, 9:13 AM

george48

I'm sorry Daver, but Mariska Hargitay, from Law & Order SVU, wins hands down over Diora Baird, at least in my books, and remember who her mother was, Jayne Mansfield, a woman with considerable..er.. talents of her own.

Reply #156. Apr 15 12, 9:33 AM

Creedy

(Creedy snorts in derision)

Who wrote that article? Daffy Duck?

But I'm ever so impressed by your pure and cerebral interest in the girl, Daver.

Boing, boing, boing

Reply #157. Apr 15 12, 9:35 AM

Creedy

Is is true that poor Jayne had her car accident because she couldn't see where she was going?

Reply #158. Apr 15 12, 9:37 AM

Animollie

I love this blog! Very funny! As a never married and will only do so when pigs drive and cows fly I am in complete agreement that men and women should live apart. Even the
married couples should each have an area in the house that is
totally their own. This would lower both the murder and divorce rates!

Reply #159. Apr 15 12, 9:43 AM

Creedy

Oh LOL, I just looked Jayne Mansfield up on the net. It says she won many beauty contests and that the only title she ever turned down was "Miss Roquefort Cheese" because it didn't sound right. SO funny!

It also said she spoke five languages, was a classically train pianist and violinist and had an IQ of 163. Wow! That's impressive!

And it says she was married three times, had five children, and numerous lovers, including both the Kennedy brothers, a millionaire or two, a few famous actors and singers, and - goodness me - Anton LaVey!

And she juggled motherhood and classes at university. Juggled... such an interesting word. Sort of really puts an image in one's head.

Reply #160. Apr 15 12, 9:50 AM

This thread has been closed to new replies.
374 replies. On page 8 of 19 page(s). 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

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