I'll have to look for a publisher. Unfortunately, they are almost all women now. That's why we have gone from "A Farewell to Arms" and "The Grapes of Wrath" to "Harry Potter" and "The Hunger Games" in little more than a generation. By the way, my last post should have said my tires were "slashed," not "shashed." This computer is a female, too. |
And don't think I don't know about your secret society, the Sisterhood. It trumps the Illuminati. The same day my blog was canceled, I received emails from an old girlfriend of mine, AND an old college classmate of mine. Both are women; both live in Chicago; both said they would like to see me this summer. Coincidence? Hah! If I were foolish enough to go to Chicago, I would be found (if there was anything left to be found) floating in Lake Michigan with a tube of lipstick in my mouth. We Aries men know a trap when we see one.
Reply #21. Apr 25 12, 7:06 AM
(Curses - foiled again!)|
Reply #22. Apr 25 12, 7:08 AM
I thought "The Hunger Games" when I saw it advertised, was something to do with a cooking reality show. |
No way, no how will I ever voluntarily watch a dopey cooking show. One might as well watch a show about doing the laundry. No printable comment allowed about Harry Potter.
However, "Pride and Prejudice" and "Downton Abbey" - NOW we're cooking with gas.
I feel you should watch them, Daver. They may help turn you into a sensitive new age metrosexual who has facials and manicures, splashes on the very latest in after-shave, has all hair removed from his body, attends jazzercise classes (in leotards and a dinky band around his forehead), adoooores the latest recipes, waves his hands in the air when he's talking excitedly, and who is eager to develop his feminine side.
(No children, mummy didn't mean that a metrosexual is a naughty man who rides on the subway. Put down the carving knife, Eugene)
Reply #23. Apr 25 12, 7:28 AM
You are about the 100th woman to suggest I watch "Downton Abbey." What is it with that show? Are they using subliminal messages to emasculate the male population? I did watch part of one episide, and it was incredibly boring. Almost as bad as "Flambards," which sends my sisters into ecstacy. |
Reply #24. Apr 25 12, 8:50 AM
I feel you should watch them, Daver. They may help turn you into a sensitive new age metrosexual who has facials and manicures, splashes on the very latest in after-shave, has all hair removed from his body, attends jazzercise classes (in leotards and a dinky band around his forehead), adoooores the latest recipes, waves his hands in the air when he's talking excitedly, and who is eager to develop his feminine side.|
Feminine side Creedy?.... I think you mean gay! lol
Reply #25. Apr 25 12, 8:57 AM
I loved the thread! Too bad some people took it so seriously.|
I'm going to miss the giggles it provided.
By the way, Downtown Abby is really good!
Reply #27. Apr 25 12, 9:32 AM
Oh my goodness, SisterSeaGull, I somehow doubt it :)|
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)
Downtown Abbey: The article doesn't do it justice - he hasn't trilled enough - is a series that's an interesting perspective on class structure at that time; based on, and incorporates historical events, costumes, furnishings, lifestyles etc presented against the backdrop of a glorious old English mansion; incorporates the big social changes that were happening during this era; presents a ripping good love story or two and other story lines featuring other aspects of the human psyche; impeccable dialogue; fascinating characters; and is pure unadulterated escapism into the world of yesterday.
It's England's answer to "Gone With the Wind" and "Dallas".
Resistance is futile, Daver.
Reply #28. Apr 25 12, 10:06 AM
I'm a woman, but have never even *heard* of such a show (and, I'm thinking, were I to watch it would be snoring in one or two seconds. My mother, however... **let's not go *there* :))|
Pity some people feel the need to insult and personally attack others, while the vast majority of us look for the less serious side
Reply #29. Apr 25 12, 10:46 AM
Resistance may be futile, but I intend to hold out as long as I can. Once they make you start watching "Downton Abbey," it's only a small step to Merchant-Ivory movies and reruns of "Cagney and Lacey."|
Top Ten Shows For Bachelors:
"Married, With Children"
"Walker, Texas Ranger"
"The Man Show"
"Monday Night Football"
"Sex and the City" (know your enemy)
Reply #30. Apr 25 12, 11:27 AM
One of these days you will be singing this song.|
Last night, outta the blue
Driftin’ off to the evening news
She said "Honey, what would you do
If you’d never met me"
I just laughed, said "I don’t know,
But I could take a couple guesses though"
And then tried to dig real deep,
Said, "Darling honestly...
I’d do a lot more offshore fishin’
I’d probably eat more drive-thru chicken
Take a few strokes off my golf game
If I’d have never known your name
I’d still be driving that old green ‘Nova
I probably never would have heard of yoga
Be a better football fan
But if I was a single man
Alone and out there on the loose
Well I’d be looking for a woman like you."
I could tell that got her attention
So I said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention,
I wouldn’t trade a single day
For a hundred years the other way."
She just smiled and rolled her eyes,
Cause she’s heard all of my lines
I said, "C’mon on girl, seriously
If I hadn’t been so lucky
I’d be shootin’ pool in my bachelor pad
Playing bass in my cover band
Restocking up cold Bud Light
Play poker every Tuesday night, yeah
I’d have a dirt bike in the shed
And not one throw pillow on the bed
I’d keep my cash in a coffee can
But if I was a single man
Alone and out there on the loose
Well I’d be looking for a woman like you."
She knows what a mess I’d be if I didn’t have her here
But to be sure, I whispered in her ear
"You know I get sick deep-sea fishin’
And you make the best fried chicken
I got a hopeless golf game
I love the sound of your name
I might miss that old green ‘Nova
But I love watchin’ you do yoga
I’d take a gold band on my hand
Over being a single man
Cause honestly I don’t know what I’d do
If I’d never met a woman like you."
Reply #31. Apr 25 12, 12:26 PM
A beautiful song. The woman in question was in fact one Veronica Steydlitz-Grüber, a fascinating 6'7" web toed Westphalian hunchback. Her yoga contortions were remarkable.|
The fellows name was, Lipmey Churchill, and his follow up songs are well worth a listen. They include such titles as,
"Now that my arms have been broken," "Why am I strapped to the bed?" and that great number one, "Take these chains from my dentures, darlin'."
Beware, Daver. By such irrisistable blandishments do they seek to snare and entrap you.
Reply #32. Apr 25 12, 1:04 PM
irresistible, of course. :)|
Reply #33. Apr 25 12, 1:06 PM
|I loved "Married... with Children" till it started going a bit silly with aliens. I didn't watch "Upstairs Downstairs" much. When Downton Abbey appeared, I couldn't be bothered to watch it at all. Am I a disgrace if I admit that I hadn't even heard of Flambards till I read it here? |
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A young married couple were enjoying a long, relaxed conversation. They had plenty of time, so the wife decided to ask her husband a question she had had on her mind for a long time:
Wife: "If I died before you, would you remarry?"
Husband: "No, I love you much too much to get married to a different woman."
Wife: "But you love being married, don't you? So honestly, you'd get married again, wouldn't you?"
Husband: *sigh* "Yes, I suppose I would get married again - eventually."
Wife: "Would you and your new wife live in our house?"
Husband: "Yes, I suppose so - where else would we live?"
Wife: "Would you take down all the pictures of you and me together?"
Husband: "Yes, it would be discourteous to her if I didn't. I'd still keep the ones of us in my private drawer, though."
Wife: "Would you two sleep in our bedroom?"
Husband: "I imagine so - where else would we sleep?"
Wife: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
Husband: "No, she wouldn't be able to. She's left-handed!"
Wife: ... ?
Reply #34. Apr 25 12, 7:32 PM
nope, not at all a disgrace Lesley. Most of us like you JUST the way you are : )|
Reply #35. Apr 25 12, 7:53 PM
Join the Club Lesley, I have never heard of Flambards either, couldn't be anything special as I have never seen it listed in our TV programmes.|
Reply #36. Apr 25 12, 8:06 PM
|Thank you both, I feel much better now! |
Apparently Flambards is a novel and three sequels, and then a UK TV series, set around the time of the first World War. This is the beginning of the synopsis on Wiki:
" The first book, originally published in 1967, tells how the teenage heroine, orphaned heiress Christina Parsons, comes to live at Flambards, the impoverished Essex estate owned by her crippled and tyrannical uncle ... and his two sons ... "
Enough clichés? Read on - it gets worse. You wouldn't think it could, would you?
Reply #37. Apr 25 12, 8:50 PM
Well as I said I have never heard of it before but we did get the first series of Downton Abbey here and I enjoyed that and now we have forward notices of the second series about to hit our screens. I am very partial to English productions for two reasons. Firstly the English know when to quit. A few episodes and that's it before you get time to get sick of it, not on and on ad infinitum like some shows I could mention. And secondly there is more realism. For example if someone has just gotten out of bed they look like they have just gotten out of bed, not stepped out of a beauty salon like a lot of American productions. I used to love Coronation Street, till they took it off and transferred it to "Pay TV" Probably as a ploy to force us to go to Pay TV because it was so popular. It was common to see the various female characters (especially Hilda) with curlers in their hair - realism which I prefer.|
Reply #38. Apr 25 12, 9:17 PM
The plot sounds really predictable, Lesley :)|
And yes, Mommakat, I agree, the English make fantastic period dramas.
My favourite shows would be:
Any of the Star Trek series (they're allowed to count as one)
Pride and Prejudice (with Colin Firth....swoon)
Everybody Loves Raymond
Frasier - Niles cracks me up
To the Manor Born
The Worst Week of My Life
Any of the English historical documentaries
Any of the Agatha Christie series
Tennis, Track and Field, Equestrian events, Swimming, all the winter sports, and the Olympics etc
Reply #39. Apr 25 12, 9:45 PM
I am surprised so few of you have heard of "Flambards." You should buy or rent the DVDs. You would love it, and have a new instrument of torture to inflict upon your poor husbands.|
Reply #40. Apr 25 12, 9:59 PM
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