| lesley153
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Rules is Rules is the opposite cliché to Rules are Made to be Broken. Just another way of saying we'll do what we want and we'll justify what we do by - er - making the rules up as we go along.
I used to think that people who refused to take responsibility for anything were simply scared of being punished. Not any more. Society tells us that anything and everything that goes wrong is someone else's fault, so now everyone is entitled to victim status to excuse their wrongdoings.
Solution to global entitlement? Pass. Perhaps the next generation will initiate a backlash.
Gosh I think I just got all philosophical. Scary.
Reply #1. May 01 12, 10:40 AM
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postcards2go 
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My son likes to put all blame for anything he does, on me.
Home past curfew? It's because I didn't give him a key.
Lost his phone? It's because I didn't get him an expensive phone... He said he would have guarded that more carefully.
School report not done on time? It's because he has a cheap computer... Never mind that the school's computers are available to him, and that he has destroyed bits and pieces of the one he has, so I'm not spending money to get another until university.
Reply #2. May 01 12, 11:04 AM
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Jazmee27
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Sometimes we just can't help ourselves, Lesley, lol
"Rules are rules"
Sort of reminds me of "orders are orders"
Made the mistake of reading the documentation I kept from two and a half years ago, when I was still in school. I was surprised to see I still had the file.
On September 2, I was referring to a conversation I had just had with a "lovely" administrator from the bus company (paraphrasing):
- "Our drivers aren't allowed to leave the van." Translation, they can't go to my door to assist me (who walks with a walker and has balance issues) so I'd better wait in the freezing cold, in all types of weather, for the bus to come.
Then, I must find the door (using whatever means necessary) because, if a driver should decide to be helpful, he or she can be penalized for doing so.
Question: can I, if I pay extra, continue to receive the same service I've been getting?
"No--rules are rules."
Translation, we treat all our customers the same, so if you need even minimal assistance, you can either deal or **do *without. We don't owe you our service.
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Reply #3. May 01 12, 11:09 AM
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Jazmee27
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Postcards, that reminds me of Mom's ex-boyfriend's kids when they still lived with Mom and I.
If they were making noise, and an adult came to investigate, it was always me who'd made the noise. (After all,*I was the one with unsteady balance who routinely fell into stuff)
When the young girl stole my bus money, I was imagining things. **I must have spent *it! (And, besides it was her father's fault for being so stingy)
And whenever the boy got in trouble at school for taking stuff that didn't belong to him? His teachers were out to get him, and would say anything to get him in trouble (as would his classmates)
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Reply #4. May 01 12, 11:16 AM
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bloodandsand
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Postcards, I think my son and yours are sharing a life!
Reply #5. May 01 12, 11:34 AM
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| lesley153
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My son lent a schoolmate 50 pence. Eventually, he asked for it back.
"You are joking! If I could afford to give you 50 pee, do you think I'd have borrowed it?"
Reply #6. May 01 12, 11:48 AM
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Jazmee27
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I just completed my private tournament for the day. I only got two right... but that's not the point.
One of the questions asked wat some consider to be a reason a certain criminal turned to crime. Ironically, I got it: it involved a kidnapping and molestation of a close family member. Now, I've always had a problem with this, and it's got to deal with **personal *experience.
When I was eleven or twelve, I was molested by Mom's then-boyfriend, Dave. We were watching movies and getting ready to go to the pool. (At this time, I wasn't as private about where I changed [could some of that have had to do with my vision impairment?]as I am now--let's just put it that way.) It took him tuching me at least twice (or was it three times) and forcing me to touch him (once or twice--I don't remember) for me to pluck up the courage to demand he stop. (Why he did is still a mystery.)
The three of us (he and Mom and I) went out for ice cream when she got off work, and it wasn't until days later I told someone (one of my "caregivers" at SACC [School Aged Child Care].
I went into counseling sometime after... and Dave came once to give "his side" of the story. He claimed to have been a victim of sexual abuse as a child (which, even then, struck me as odd).
(I could go on and on... but I won't)
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Reply #8. May 01 12, 12:21 PM
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postcards2go
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A child molester has no "side".
It doesn't matter how you looked, or whether you didn't fully understand the concept of privacy (It may very well have been because of your vision impairment). *You* were a child. *He* has no excuse. Period!
Reply #9. May 01 12, 1:09 PM
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| lesley153
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"Why he did is still a mystery."
No it isn't He's a coward. He expected you to be compliant, and too scared to stand up to him. He hadn't got round to working out what he'd do if you weren't.
Still, full marks to you for making it clear that you weren't prepared to put up with it. I hope you scared him!
Reply #10. May 01 12, 1:22 PM
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Jazmee27
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Thanks, Lesley and Postcards.
I'm actually surprised I did "stand up to him." I was traumatized, confused, scared, humiliated, ashamed, embarrassed... whatever word you want to use... (but I'm wondering if what happened earlier in my life didn't play a role in my actions)
When I was six, I remember raising the volume on my cassette player to drown out the noises of slapping and cursing filtering through the paper thin walls (I don't remember details of Mike, Mom'sex-husband (who **isn't related to me at *all) abusing me physically, but that doesn't mean he didn't (just that I repressed the memries of it)
Look at my stories, and you'll find evidence of physical trauma (it has to come out insome way)
I've never understood why someone would use physical/sexual/psychological abuse as an excuse for their behavior. "I had a rough life." Yeah... and? Is that a license to beat up or kill or rape another human being?
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Reply #11. May 01 12, 2:11 PM
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Jazmee27
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"Be strong/Nothing that you did was wron" - Lyrics to a song on the CD I got January 8, 2008
All I can figure out is that each song on it discusses abuse in one form or another. The one quoted above is one of my favorites. Others are:
"Stand for what you believe in... stand for what you know is right/Don't let nobody tell you otherwise/Stand for me and I'll stand for you"
And the one that comes before it says "and now I cry/For how it used to be/And I would die/For how it used to be/Was I so blind/I thought you were so mine/Untilyou crossed the line"
Another one chants something about "rights, power, resistance, equality"
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Reply #12. May 01 12, 3:23 PM
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Jazmee27
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I was going through my stories from two years ago (the fictional ones,as I hadn't yet started the "real-life" variety. I had about 120-some "fragments" (well, about six "drafts" suitable for expanding on, plus two folders of "mixed real life and fantasy." Those were the ones I saved; the others I did "commentary" on and deleted them from my files (I call those my "flops")
Here are some of the ones I kept:
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Reply #13. May 01 12, 5:32 PM
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Jazmee27
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==========
Falling Asleep [an exhortation against doing nothing but "work]
**This is *boring! Anastasia thought as she let the book drop to the floor. The 11-year-old knew learning her kingdom's history was a good idea, her being a
ruler and all, but...
**I'm falling asleep just thinking about *it!
But, with Anja gone, the kingdom became her full responsibility. **And I can't count on Alonso, he's not even ready to accept “his” *responsibilities!
Grudgingly, she bent over and picked the Tome of Histories up. "Of course, I could use magic, but why not save it for when I really need it?"
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Reply #14. May 01 12, 5:34 PM
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Jazmee27
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==========
Horror [the perils of waiting]
Viktorio spoke without turning around. “I suppose I should hand him over—but you may as well know it’s too late anyway. He suffered complete organ failure
a few minutes before you arrived, but don’t take my word for it.” And the room was filled with a bright light, illuminating the small human-shaped bundle
in the corner. The prince’s chest had been cut open post-mortem, and his tiny heart hung suspended from a length of nylon rope secured to the ceiling above
him. Other smaller cuts and bruises shone on his face, hands and feet, while larger wounds were visible on his abdomen and chest. A few feet away, also
suspended from the ceiling, the prince’s genitals swung back and forth in a gentle breeze. All this the 7-year-old took in in a matter of seconds.
Brendyn swallowed, then bit his lip to keep from crying. As silently as he’d come, he crept back out the way he’d come and returned home.
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Reply #15. May 01 12, 5:36 PM
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Jazmee27
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==========
Kidnapped [the "primative" copy]
She woke up in a cage, her head fuzzy as if she’d just consumed a sizable quantity of alcohol. A blindfold was secured so tightly around her eyes that it
chafed against her skin, and she felt the cold iron bars under her. “Just great,” the twelve-year-old thought sarcastically, “here I am, caged up like
a bloody animal, with no clue as to my whereabouts… Oh, and I’m naked!"
“Are we awake yet?” a gravelly voice asked.
Go away, Isabelle thought as hard as she could, just go away!
“You’re by far the prettiest specimen I’ve ever had,” the voice continued.
Specimen! Isabelle thought indignantly. I’m not some creature you’ve ccaught, you… She felt hot tears spring to her eyes, followed by shame that that monster
could see them as they fell. That shame and anger was tempered slightly by relief as she heard The Ferguson turn and walk away.
”Later, my dearest.” The young woman shuddered, her mind conjuring up countless scenarios of untold pain and degradation.
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Reply #16. May 01 12, 5:39 PM
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Jazmee27
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==========
Mnoibrvanan Massacre [The "modified" version, the original being too much for even *me* to red]
The tears fell steadily from Sikradu’s eyes, his already sore body shaking with the grief that comes from loss. Mama. Never again would she hold him close
and soothe him with that beautiful voice of hers. Papa. Never again would he see that sweet, disarming smile, or hear one of his treasure trove of legends.
What did they do to deserve dying that way? What did any of us do?
Eventually, the eight-year-old’s sobs abated and he slumped, completely spent, against the ropes that now held him suspended over a table. Blood still trickled
from between his legs, staining the surfaces below.
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Reply #17. May 01 12, 5:41 PM
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| lesley153
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Back to post 11 - a rough life is an excuse. It's never more than an excuse. It's not a reason. IMHO!
Reply #18. May 01 12, 6:39 PM
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Jazmee27
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Couldn't agree more, Lesley. Unfortunately, some people buy said excuse.
For example, I no longer watch certain "real life crime" shows because the so-called experts look into the past and suggest a wide range of excuses. ("Deadly Women" is the one that springs to mind; instead, I've started watching shows like "Sinsand Secrets")
Another example: this one "woman" my uncle knows (she has four grown children) uses the victim mentality to get what she wants. He feels sorry for her, saying "she had a rough life." *Hell, so did he--so I fail to see his *point!
This Michelle is the same one who will ask to "borrow" his car, but when he wants to spend time with her... "hit the pike!"
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Reply #19. May 01 12, 7:09 PM
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Jazmee27
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Good news: I have AC
Bad news: It only works somewhat (no better than last summer - I have to remind myself the unit I have is old)
Some "genius" determined the heating/cooling systems should be "connected." This means if AC is on downstairs, those upstairs can get it as well; if they have heat on, but we want AC, we're out of luck
The units have a fan and a non-fan setting. Both, in theory, pump out either heat or AC (though I'm careful to press the fan only when I want cold air circulating, and the heat button when I want the heat)
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Reply #20. May 01 12, 8:08 PM
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