Jazmee27 
|
This week’s grocery order:
- 4 fresh muffins (not blueberry)
- 2 chicken dinners (no macaroni salad)
- 3 bananas, more green than yellow
- Yogurt (whatever’s on sale – no more than ten)
- Peanuts
- Cashews
- Raisinettes
- Craisins
- M&Ms
- Wheat thins
- Pizza-flavored goldfish crackers
- Honey mustard pretzels (if available, WITHOUT the onion flavoring)
- Cheddar cheese pretzels
- ½ gallon Turkey Hill vanilla ice cream
- 10 pint bottles Swiss Premium regular iced tea
Ginny wrote a note indicating I want the stuff delivered Thursday, not tomorrow (otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to leave tomorrow, and I’d really like to get my hair done)
A note about last week (two, actually): They were all out of macaroni and cheese for the chicken dinners; and she could only find the honey mustard and onion (I told her if that’s all they have, I’ll take them)
|
Reply #141. May 15 12, 10:30 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
More stories:
======
I don’t know the science behind it, but I seem to exercise ten times better with music-as if, with a song to focus on, the mind is more energized. Of course, I had seen that effect before, but kept forgetting to turn on a CD when it came time for my exercises-and, inevitably, forgot to do them.
But the way I see it, why torture myself at therapy alone? Why not, in fact, have my torture sessions at home so that my muscles won’t hurt so much at Drayer?
------
One thing I can't forget: if ever I think I overdid it, that's the time to keep with it
|
Reply #142. May 15 12, 10:32 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
=====
I’m guessing the temperature’s in the 50’s-but inside my little apartment you’d never know it! The bedroom window’s open wide, and the only reason the living room one isn’t is because (a) the chill in the air is too much for the bird, and (b) the time of day-meaning that the sun will be gone soon. So many of the residents in the building use their heat that I often don’t have to use mine (I’m on the 5th floor).
------
It always sparks arguments between me and others because it's always so much warmer in here than where they live. For instance, on winter days, unless it's really damp, I need the window open at least a little because it's a sauna in here. And so there are a lot of times when Grandma comments on how cold it is, and I have no way of knowing; it's rare that I need heat, and yet there have been a few times when I did. (Part of it's living on the fifth floor - that means I'm getting leftover heat from the floors below.)
|
Reply #143. May 15 12, 10:38 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
My Braille notetaker has, for some time, become a thorn in my side. Sometimes it works… and other times it’s as if it thinks “I’m not working for you-find someplace else to store your valuable information!”
Back in early June (or late May) the machine froze up right after mom had just helped me reset it and, being annoyed, I left it alone. Unfortunately, half the time it freezes it does so with the unit turned on, and there’s no way to restart it without assistance (let’s just say that there are fine little pins that are extremely easy to bend if you either don’t know what you’re doing or are in the habit of being too rough with things).
The other week, grandma was up and helped me locate the two halves of the charging apparatus. After hooking it into the unit, I was just preparing myself to reset the bloomin’ thing when… it reset itself! (Of course, when it does that the user has to perform a “Warm” reset in order to prevent future problems.)
Now I’m ultra-careful, attempting to type everything into the regular computer before the piece of junk decides to crash again, at which time I’ll probably need to ship it to Florida (why does the company have to be so bloody far away?)
|
Reply #144. May 15 12, 10:39 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
“Did you hear that?” mom asked me as we were on the way out the door. I nodded. I’d heard all right-but the sound was so faint I’d written it off as my imagination.
“Hello, Jaymee,” Sue greeted me as I stepped off of the elevator. It wasn’t like I was ignoring her-I was giving all my attention to my walking.
I am beginning to adopt the opinion that if one wants to torture another, all that one needs to do is organize an exercise program and keep increasing the exercises and resistance.
As soon as I opened the door, I remembered: stupid, annoying sound! Annoyance is not conducive to thinking.
I can’t believe Tom came up for that! I thought after the maintenance man had left.
|
Reply #145. May 15 12, 10:39 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
“Come on,” I whispered, “get up and wash your hair!” Normally, although not a morning person, I can still force myself when the occasion warrants. This morning, however, I just couldn’t find the motivation to roll out of bed. “Come on,” I whispered again, “it’s graduation day!”
***
There’s something about water that stimulates the brain and speeds the waking process. At times, the effect works without the added benefit of a wet head. On this day, the rejuvenating property of the water didn’t do much until it hit my hair. Then, suddenly, I was alert and ready to begin the day with physical therapy.
***
Around 7:30, I called Mom, who was still sleeping. “Just make sure you’re not still sleeping at 8,” I said.
“I’ll have you there in time!” she snapped—and hung up.
***
Later, I learned she wasn’t feeling well—and I felt bad for my earlier statement. “If it weren’t for your therapy this morning, I wouldn’t leave the house.” And, as if to clarify things, she added, “I hate to do this, but I have to cancel plans for this evening.” I just broke down, right there. “I know you’re disappointed, but… We’ll have a post-New Year’s Party.”
Disappointed? A little. Sorry for myself? Again, a little. But the main reason I was crying is I *knew, as early as last night, that Mom wasn’t feeling well. She hadn’t told me; but I have… I call it my “sensor”.
***
On Monday afternoon, Julia had visited me to bring up some packages. At some point, I mentioned my plans for New Year’s. “You do know you have to leave a note?” she asked. Well, no—but thanks for letting me know. And so I passed along the info to Mom.
***
Back to Friday: Sometime in the afternoon, I called Julia and informed her that the plan had changed. “You’re more than welcome to join us downstairs,” she said, referring to the complex’s New Year’s Eve Party.
“I don’t know that I’m much in the mood for celebration”—and I burst into tears. After apologizing for crying, I explained the situation—and she extended an open invitation to me: “If you feel like going down later, let me know.”
***
Later, when I got lonely, I called Julia. “I think I’ll take you up on your offer.” And, though I was upset initially and cried once or twice, wishing I were with family, I did end up enjoying myself.
***
The menu was hot dogs, potato chips, pretzels and deviled eggs—there was more food, but it was stuff I don’t like… When Julia offered me seconds, I said, “I’m not one of those people who goes to a party just for the food.”
Why do you?” asked Sis, who was sitting across from me.
“”To hear me sing” Staccey exclaimed—at the same time one of the other ladies said, “to have fun,” to which I agreed.
***
After we ate, it was karaoke time. Old favorites, such as “Amazing Grace,” “Go, Tell It on the Mountain,” “Pop Goes the Weasel,” “Old Macdonald,” “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad,” “Yankee Doodle,” “On Top of Old Smoky,” “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” “My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean,” “Oh My Darling, Clementine,” and many others. I even sang along to a few—but not very loud. And a few times, I giggled.
“ Are you laughing at us?” Sis asked me at one point.
“No,” I replied, “I’m laughing at the song in general.”
------
One of those days I wished I hadn't crawled out of bed
|
Reply #146. May 15 12, 10:41 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
My Uncle Michael and his girlfriend Jodie have been together as long as I can remember—though actually it’s only sixteen of my twenty-seven years. But now that’s all changed, and why? Who can tell?
What is common knowledge is that Jodie’s younger sister, Michelle, moved into an expensive house a few months after getting married. What’s also common knowledge is that she [Jodie] always maintained she didn’t want children. But it appears all that’s changed as she observes her sister with “everything she doesn’t have”.
As someone close to the family has said, “What one [sister] has, the other must have.”
Just yesterday, Michael was finally able to communicate with his ex-girlfriend—and officially break things off. “He’s very hurt now,” my grandmother told me today. And she went on to say how the Christmas holidays will be really tough: “He was going to get a ring and propose to her Christmas Eve.”
What gets me is why Jodie’s acting the way she is. I mean, doesn’t she love Michael? If so, shouldn’t she be willing to live in whatever living arrangements he can afford? Why compare what you have to what someone else has? Why does it matter?
I have thought that, perhaps, Jodie is afraid of committing to Michael any more than she already has, that perhaps the thought of marriage scares her. And maybe she’s afraid of bringing her fears into the open, perhaps thinking Michael will think less of her if she admits…
Ugh! I’m done thinking through the possibilities. They won’t bring me any closer to the answer, and will just make my head hurt.
------
Since writing that, I have learned more, much more, and the more I learn the more.l.. INTERESTING… it gets:
- At night, Jodie would sit on the couch while her boyfriend watched the football game, talking animatedly to her mother or sister. It may have made more sense had they lived out of state, but they all live in town!
- One year, her boss came to the Memorial Day picnic. He kept grabbing around at her butt, and she kept laughing. HUH?
- The last few months she lived with Grandma and Michael, Jodie didn’t even acknowledge Grandma. “She just walked past me like I wasn’t even there.”
|
Reply #147. May 15 12, 1:43 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
I sometimes fantasize about the father I never had—wonder what he’s like, that kind of thing. Mostly, though, I don’t—I know there’s a good reason Mom kicked him out of my life. But if I do fantasize, I imagine the kind of father I’d want to have—funny, loving, full of compassion…
When I was four, my mother, Minnie, got married to a creep named Mike. Long after they divorced, when I was ten, I believed him to be my dad—and was relieved beyond measure to learn he wasn’t. Not my stepdad, neither.
At eleven years old, I was already a troubled young girl. My classmates wanted nothing to do with me on account of my killer temper—I’d often slam the cubby doors on them for no apparent reason. And the worst part was, I had no idea why I acted that way myself!
Around that time, Mom began dating a guy named Dave. Can’t say I remember him well—which is a good thing… But what I do remember is etched onto my memory for all time:
It was summer, and Mom had dropped me off at Dave’s house while she went to her job in Medical Records. We [Dave and I] planned to watch some movies and then go swimming. I remember he had on these holey shorts… and that halfway through the movie, he touched me. I didn’t say anything then—probably too scared and confused—but then he did it again three or more times as we prepared to go swimming, and afterwords! He even grasped my hand once or twice and forced me to touch his private parts (which is why I remember the shorts). Eventually, I told him to stop—and, mercifully, he did.
I remember, as well, that when Mom came to pick me up the three of us went for ice cream. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to talk about what had happened—I stayed silent for three days. I know I wasn’t at fault, but… part of me still feels ashamed.
Years later, Mom met Edy—and we ended up moving in with him and his two young children. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out—and seemed doomed from the start, as his ex-wife kept using the children for her own gains. But, at one time, I looked up to Edy as a father figure. Of course, that’s not the case anymore.
And I’m not sure the father figure is anywhere but in my imagination.
------
Mom keeps telling me she’ll tell me who my father was, but I have to w3onder if she ever will. She and Grandma have tried to dissuade me from asking questions, saying I won’t like the story once I hear it. I GATHERED THAT FROM THEIR SILENCE ALL THESE YEARS. I STILL WANT TO KNOW.
|
Reply #148. May 15 12, 1:46 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
It was hard to choose [a Fantasy team], as some ternaments had two or more individuals I’d like to win. In the end, here’s what I came up with:
- Howdyitsme
- Slytherinwitch
- boneymaroney6 [former teammate]
- Heleena
- Kenners158 [a current teammate]
- Arscreens
- EYanyo [another teammate]
|
Reply #149. May 15 12, 4:26 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
Dinner was chicken corn chowder :)
|
Reply #150. May 15 12, 6:02 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
Ten minutes :)
Sue brought some packages earlier, and took her box fan with her. She piled the Braille magazines on the kitchen table.
I better go - I spilled iced tea earlier, so need to go wipe it up (all-purpose cleaner does wonders)
|
Reply #151. May 15 12, 7:09 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
Purple Ninjas gained two new members for a grand total of 86 :)
|
Reply #152. May 15 12, 7:32 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
A story or two before I go to bed:
======
There are people you lose all respect for, and then there are people you lose even more than that.
|
Reply #153. May 15 12, 9:32 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
Several years ago at the end of February, I lost my temper with my great-uncle. I’m not proud of it, but he’s one of those individuals who will push and push and push some more until… (He thinks he’s being funny, but nobody—including his wife—thinks so.)
|
Reply #154. May 15 12, 9:32 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
The exact details are foggy, but I remember that he was the one who called me (most times, it was Janice who called, not Bill). We rarely, if ever, had a “normal” conversation beyond “hello”. It wasn’t “how are you” and all that; some of Bill’s jokes were borderline offensive, and most made one feel like a young child.
|
Reply #155. May 15 12, 9:33 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
So, I admit to having lost my temper. I’ll even admit (not as an excuse, mind you) that I’d been having a pretty rough semester in school (it was 2006 [I remember going to my grandmother’s the weekend of Memorial Day to sleep over, and Janice and Bill came down, and he wouldn’t talk to me or anything]).
|
Reply #156. May 15 12, 9:34 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
======
I remember that “discussion” ended with him hanging up on me (Janice had a fit when she heard how immature he’d been, and routinely berated him for “acting like an idiot”. And to this day,although he no longer ignores me, the most he’ll say is “hello” or “fine”.
------
I believe there are times when an apology is too late. Bill never offered one, and I know never will. (I’ve apologized-in fact, did so right away when I thought I’d hung up on him. [“You’ve apologized, and there’s nothing else you can do.”—Grandma])
|
Reply #157. May 15 12, 9:38 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
------
"Too late to apologize" does not mean I won't be polite when I see him; it just means I'll never see him the same again (I guessyou could say, as another song does "I swear I never meant to let it die/I just don't care about you anymore/It's not fair when you say that I didn't try/I just don't care about you anymore.")
|
Reply #158. May 15 12, 9:40 PM
|
Jazmee27
|
I called Grandma first thing this morning to ask if “we could do the haircut another day.. I still want you to come today.” So that’s what we’re doing: “Maybe we can do the haircut next week.”
The problem is:
- My head hurts – an extension of the headache I’ve had all week (most likely allergy)
- My back hurts – maybe it was cleaning up that mess yesterday that exacerbated it. I don’t know; but I already fell once today (something I was loathe to admit to Grandma, but if she asks me a direct answer I feel compelled to tell her the truth).
|
Reply #159. May 16 12, 6:19 AM
|
Jazmee27
|
All but one made it through round one :)
|
Reply #160. May 16 12, 6:26 AM
|
Legal / Conditions of Use
|
Play Now! 
: