Jazmee27 
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WHAT..
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There’s something happening outside. Sounds like trucks going back and forth, and maybe tools… ‘Then there’s this: |
Reply #2581. Feb 23 13, 9:48 PM
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Jazmee27
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What do you do when it’s too hot to keep the windows closed, but too cold to leave them open?’
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Reply #2582. Feb 23 13, 9:49 PM
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Jazmee27
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SLEEP NOW, LAUNDRY TOMORROW
Good night, everyone :) Sweet dreams.
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Reply #2583. Feb 23 13, 9:51 PM
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Jazmee27
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| Mom's still in bed, as she's had trouble sleeping for the past two weeks. |
Reply #2584. Feb 24 13, 9:48 AM
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Jazmee27
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Laundry done, though not by me,
My back was hurting;
Mom said, "Do work up here then"
Brought me yogurt parfait from Sheets,
Ate that and took some medicine;
Then cleaned chairs, put clothes on hangers,
And fed the bird so Mom could mop.
Now, once again,
It's time to sleep;
New day tomorrow,
Good stuff on TV;
Collected listings,
But it remains to be seen
Just what I'll see
And what I'll skip
To do other things.
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Reply #2585. Feb 24 13, 9:12 PM
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Jazmee27
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December 2011 once more
12/10 - COMEDY
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The comedy started at noon on Disney. ‘I don’t know yet if I’ll watch “Wizards of Waverly Place” at 3:30, or if I’ll watch a movie on Fx.’ What I do know is that I need to wash the dishes and “motivate myself to get dressed.”
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COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN A WEEKEND - PROBABLY SATURDAY.
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Reply #2586. Feb 25 13, 11:20 AM
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Jazmee27
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DEFIANT
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“You can advise me, but ain’t nobody but me gonna tell me when to go to bed!” This I muttered darkly as Mom suggested I go to bed. ‘I know she’s concerned about me, and I get that it’s “quiet time”. But that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t appreciate someone else telling me what to do.’
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Reply #2587. Feb 25 13, 11:22 AM
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Jazmee27
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DETERMINED
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“Maybe she can not only repress her memories, but suppress them; I just can’t allow myself to do the same.” These are the words I mutter as I reenter the living room after putting some tea bottles in the Cadillac. ‘Like my characters, when I set my mind to do something I’m determined to follow through, and nothing will change my mind.’ As I told Deb, I’ve been through too much to just repress the memories again and start over at the next trigger—with the only difference being the next time will be worse!
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Reply #2588. Feb 25 13, 11:23 AM
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Jazmee27
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Last night I kept repeating to myself, “sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better.” ‘If I continue to ignore flashbacks, they’ll just get more or more insistent until I can’t drown them out any more.’ Like I said, I’m determined to do whatever I have to to make things better in the long term—and pushing stuff aside or bottling it isn’t the answer.’
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THEN AGAIN, AT LEAST ONE OF MY CHARACTERS WOULD HAVE, FIGURING THE ALTERNATIVE TOO DIFFICULT.
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Reply #2589. Feb 25 13, 11:25 AM
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Jazmee27
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LOW
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“I realize it’s late, but did you realize the low for tonight is 21?”
When I lived with Mom, it was my responsibility to keep her notified of the weather. ‘I guess you could say it still is.’ Due to her house being old, i.e. drafty windows, she has to be especially careful when the weather gets colder: “I don’t want anything to freeze.”
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Reply #2590. Feb 25 13, 11:26 AM
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Jazmee27
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HOSTAGE
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The show begins with the story of a four-year-old boy dying from a gunshot wound. The kid’s father was at the crime scene initially, but quickly ran away. ‘Interestingly enough, police don’t realize till too late what’s going on.’ “He was hell bent on getting away, and he didn’t care who he killed, didn’t care who he took with him.” |
Reply #2591. Feb 25 13, 11:28 AM
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Jazmee27
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‘After injuring about three and killing at least four others, he takes a woman hostage. She was 27 years old, and pregnant.’
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Reply #2592. Feb 25 13, 11:28 AM
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Jazmee27
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MENTAL STATE
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“My mental state must be—“ Factoring in all the things on my mind, I’m “holding up pretty well.” ‘Especially given the fact that I feel like I’m on my own with the flashbacks. Much as I love her, I feel like Mom doesn’t understand me in this—and certain other areas.’
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Reply #2593. Feb 25 13, 11:29 AM
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Jazmee27
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I believe it was during my junior year that I threatened (more like blurted) to commit suicide. ‘I honestly think I was “blowing smoke.” It was a fleeting thought. I didn’t have any “plans,” and was probably more terrified by the idea than anyone else!’ Of course, it earned me a trip to counseling, which as far as I’m concerned was anything but effective. |
Reply #2594. Feb 25 13, 11:30 AM
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Jazmee27
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‘When I was even younger, after Dave molested me, I went to counseling. Far more effective—that is until my therapist got transferred to Harrisburg. From that time on, the system just didn’t work for me.’
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Reply #2595. Feb 25 13, 11:30 AM
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Jazmee27
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PLAN B [WHEN PLAN A DOESN'T WORK... OK, I'LL EXPLAIN THAT LATER]
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Mom called to ask me about my plans for tomorrow. I didn’t mention the laundry, as I prefer to make that plan in advance, not at the last minute. Turns out, we have to do it tomorrow because she’s “going out of town” next weekend.’Or I could ask Grandma to help me take the stuff down to the laundry room tomorrow.’And I decided to call, as if she knows ahead of time, she won’t abject.
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Reply #2596. Feb 25 13, 11:33 AM
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Jazmee27
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QUESTION
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Mom: Are you going to watch my movie tonight?
Me: Probably not.
Mom: Yes or no.
If I watch it I’ll end up sleeping on the couch, as it doesn’t end until midnight. But Mom’s getting the movie from Net Flicks, so we’ll watch it on my DVD player we never even tried out.
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Reply #2597. Feb 25 13, 11:34 AM
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Jazmee27
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12/11 - DISAPPOINTING
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IT’S DISAPPOINTING. WITF TV has a pledge campaign going on. It “tends to “throw everything out of whack.” I ended up watching “Great Performances,” when what I was really interested in seeing was “Trans-Siberian Orchestra.”
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Reply #2598. Feb 25 13, 11:36 AM
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Jazmee27
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DARSHAN AMBIENT
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My spelling was pretty good for someone who’d never seen the letters for what I wanted. I ONLY MISSED ONE (specifically, I had an o where there should be an a).
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Reply #2599. Feb 25 13, 11:38 AM
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Jazmee27
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The thing that interested me on the site was the “music and video” link. I WONDER WHY MICHAEL ALLISON CHANGED HIS NAME TO DARSHAN AMBIENT. |
Reply #2600. Feb 25 13, 11:38 AM
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