Jazmee27 
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I then remember how quickly I adapted to the new living arrangement. Part of it was the O&M I’d received, and the various repetitions I’d had going from room to room (in point of fact, the instructor and I focused more on the elevator, coming upstairs, then going down to the mailbox [I think I learned the apartment in one or two days {scheduling these Orientation and Mobility sessions was kind of tricky, as I was in school}]).
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Reply #321. May 17 12, 4:00 PM
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Jazmee27
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I like to look up words sometimes, and think about their meaning
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At my appointment today, Dr. Smith again asked if I have a high pain tolerance. I didn’t think so, but he disagrees—and so does Mom. (It is true that my elbow was in pretty bad shape by the time I went to him [the pain was unbearable by the time I even *considered making an appointment]).
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Reply #322. May 17 12, 4:02 PM
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Jazmee27
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======
The doctor also called me a minimalist, which I had never heard of. So I looked it up, and found that one definition is “a person who is reluctant to accept changes and new ideas,” and another is “a person whose creative work shows sensitivity and imagination”. (There are others, but those two seem to fit me—but I have to argue with that first one: “reluctance” does *not mean that I reject new ideas or, as Mom thinks, am resistant to them; it simply means that I need to reflect upon something before making a decision, and that may take a while [the opposite of this is acting on impulse, which I did a lot more of in my younger years {as impulsivity involves no reflective thinking whatsoever…}])
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Reply #323. May 17 12, 4:03 PM
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Jazmee27
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How about acting stronger than I am, or hiding the pain I feel?
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So, am I a minimalist? I believe so—but I rather think my writing speaks clearly for itself. So, if my thought process is wrong, as it has been before, then so be it. I bet anything it’s not the last time.
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Reply #324. May 17 12, 4:04 PM
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Jazmee27
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I think the word was "snip" not what's written here
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One day when I was yet unable to enter text in a search field, Mom called me her little snippet, then a snit, when talking on the phone. And I remember feeling annoyed, as if she’d offended me or something. But I really had no idea what the words meant, and though I looked up the definitions to the best of my ability the next day, it wasn’t easy as I had to be specific with the site I wanted. And today, I can’t help but think, was the info I got off of dictionary.com correct? Or are there additional meanings for these two terms?
The Free Dictionary has this to say regarding a snippet: “A bit, scrap, or morsel”. And what does dictionary.com have to say? “A bit, scrap, or morsel”. Close… and yet not.
The Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a snippet as “a small part, piece, or thing; especially : a brief quotable passage.”
Or there’s reference.com’s dictionary entry, which has two definitions for the word, the second of which is “a small or insignificant person.” (Would explain my feeling of annoyance [I often feel like I know the meaning of words even though I don’t [I know that makes absolutely no sense, but there it is}])
Now it’s timefor “snit”. The Free Dictionarydefines it as “a fit of temper,” Merriam-Webster as “”a state of agitation,” and the site audioenglish.net defines snit as “a state of agitated irritation”. (Maybe I was in a snit when Mom called me a snit [ on the same site, “Hypernyms” are listed, including annoyance, botheration, irritation and vexation}]).
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Reply #325. May 17 12, 4:06 PM
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Jazmee27
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I also saw the following proverbs on that last site I mentioned:
"The more things change, the more they stay the same." (English proverb)
"Even the water gets stale if it does not flow." (Albanian proverb)
"The best to sit with in all times is a book." (Arabic proverb)
"The grass is always greener on the other side." (Danish proverb)
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That last one's only true according to your perspective.
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Reply #326. May 17 12, 4:08 PM
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Jazmee27
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I no longer have this book, for my (apparently good) first impression faded (what does that say about my *real* impression?)
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I’ve never done this before, but there’s something about the book that makes me want to try…
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Reply #327. May 17 12, 4:11 PM
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Jazmee27
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When I first picked up Matthew Skelton’s ‘debut novel, ‘Endymion Spring,’ I was disappointed: the story was descriptive, yes, but so slow-moving I contemplated more than once why I continued to read it. The reasons were twofold: first, I love to read, preferring even a boring pocket dictionary to no reading material; second, the book was free, and it was mine: Every quarter, I get a catalog dcalled “Special Collection” from Braille Institute, and each time I’m allowed to order up to four books that I find interesting. Sometimes, I know I’ll like it, having read the author before; other times, I just have to trust that |
Reply #328. May 17 12, 4:12 PM
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Jazmee27
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the summary I read is just as good as the book.
As I got further along in the novel, however, my perspective changed: this was one book that was anything but disappointing! (Sometimes one has to read a book more than once to fully appreciate it [although there were a lot of loose ends and unanswered questions, somehow some of them just didn’t seem important in the endd {I’m kind of divided on my impression, so I know I have to read it at least one more time before I’m done with it}])
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An yet, when it came time to do so, I was no longer interested, and threw it out to make room for other volumes
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Reply #329. May 17 12, 4:14 PM
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Jazmee27
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One of the many themes in both my stories and in my life
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What happens when respect dies? Is there any way to salvage the relationship, or is the bridge burned beyond repair?
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Reply #330. May 17 12, 4:18 PM
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Jazmee27
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Such questions have never occurred to me before—but as I grow older, the anger and hurt, even betrayal, is tempered by… what? [Knowledge, understanding, perhaps even acceptance]
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Reply #331. May 17 12, 4:20 PM
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Jazmee27
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My mind travels back to the summer Mom’s relationship with her boyfriend, Edy, were unraveling. I remember sitting downstairs, enjoying a cup of iced tea, when another argument ensued. I remember Mom trying to hush things over, as her daughter was just downstairs. “I don’t care about your daughter!” he shot back—and I thought, **oh, OK, I don’t care about you, *either! Of course, I get that his remark was made out of anger—but that doesn’t excuse the hurt.
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Reply #332. May 17 12, 4:20 PM
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Jazmee27
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My mind travels even further back, all the way back to public school, when Jeremy Long and others picked on me and bullied me. To middle school, when kids ran through the halls, opening wide locker doors so I’d slam into them and break my teeth. I remember being so mad on occasion that I swung my white cane wildly, hitting students indiscriminately, not caring who I hurt. And I remember slamming the coat closet on students in sixth grade.
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Reply #333. May 17 12, 4:21 PM
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Jazmee27
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Yes - I was a bully in school :(
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Now, my anger is less likely to erupt in violence. I just may not “care about you anymore,” as Three Days Grace would say. My interpretation of the song is, while I won’t be rude to you, I won’t go out of my way to be nice, either. I don’t have ill feelings toward you, I don’t wish you ill, and I just don’t care.
As my one neighbor would say “it’s like you don’t exist”. We won’t be rude should we meet anyone we don’t respect, but neither will we actively seek that person out to talk to. For how can you possibly carry on a conversation with someone you have absolutely no respect for? It’s like the story I had to redo because I couldn’t write for my main character because I’d lost so much respect for him.
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Reply #334. May 17 12, 4:22 PM
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Jazmee27
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How little I knew about maintenance matters back then
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I think I've figured out a way for maintenance to hear the humming noise the radiator's making.
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Reply #335. May 17 12, 4:36 PM
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Jazmee27
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You mean the knob actually *did* something?
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Today I used the air for a bit (turned the knob all the way to the right, but when I went in to the bedroom and put my hand near the vent, could barely
feel the air-which was lukewarm). I heard the loud hum it's making on Neutral sometimes, and once it shut off really hard (I doubt that's a good thing).
It sounds sick :(
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Reply #336. May 17 12, 4:37 PM
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Jazmee27
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It could only have been my first unit
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And Mom thinks I'm (a) looking for trouble where there is none, or (b) an idiot who can't tell if the knob's on heat or cool! "If the air's lukewarm, maybe
the knob's still turned to heat." For the love of... (It's a damned slider, and heat is turned to left; I have the thing as far right as it can go! [I
*do* know what I'm doing, believe it or not {yes, I was moving the knob when I shouldn't have, but that was a year ago})
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Reply #337. May 17 12, 4:38 PM
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Jazmee27
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How can one possibly understand unless hey live with the same problem?
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as far as "looking for trouble"... I'm what you'd call being observant (don't remember, Mom, it is *I* who live here and not *you*) [I'm not looking
for trouble; I'm paying attention to the possible warning signs of trouble so that when the problems crop up, maybe they won't be so bad {I've ignored
the warning signs too much in the past and have learned the hard way-so call me pessimistic, or negative, or overreacting... but don't forget that I *might*
have a reason for acting thus!}]
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Call it "listening to my intuition"
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Reply #338. May 17 12, 4:40 PM
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Jazmee27
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Maintenance was up so much last year I became convinced they were sick of seeing me
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“I am such an idiot!” I muttered, as the soap suds covered my hands. As I scrubbed a particularly filthy dish, I thought back to that very morning—when half of the toilet seat had come loose, and I’d “tried” to fix it for the umpteenth time. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do much with my left elbow still hurting the way it was. At least I could move it, I thought sourly. But as far as tightening something… out of the question!
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If I remember correctly, this was one of the times I had to call maintenance to come **after *hours
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Reply #339. May 17 12, 4:44 PM
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Jazmee27
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A minute later, still scrubbing the dishes vigorously, I heard a knock at the door—
and Julia poked her head in. “Come in!” I called, a sense of relief washing over me.
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I had called her in hopes that I *wouldn't* have to call maintanence, but she couldn't tighten t because the thing was rusted
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Reply #340. May 17 12, 4:46 PM
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