Jazmee27 
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The following is a look back on both stories, the good and the bad, things to salvage and things to change entirely:
- The first one, Revenge of The Ferguson, focused more heavily on academic life than the second one did—I ended up not being sure whether to call it Revenge of The Ferguson or Beitano or Inconceivable Torment or something else entirely; and I wound up regretting not doing more school stuff: I had the Head Teacher, Maria, often unwilling to teach class, and so if anyone was doing class it was Tiffany’s character Preston. So, in the third series of tapes I’m about to make, there will be a return to the emphasis on learning.
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Reply #381. May 18 12, 3:05 PM
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Jazmee27
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Not as much of an emphasis as I first thought
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- In the first one, my primary character, Ontario, was 15, and only later in the series did we learn he has a twin brother named Alonso. Also in the first draft, Ontario was in love with Isabelle, but extremely afraid of commitment, so much so that he ends up losing the girl to another: enter Preston. Later, he meets Harmony but, alas, continues to push her—and everyone else—away by acting immature—in the second one, I inadvertently switch Ontario’s and Alonso’s personalities so that Alonso ends up being the one to push others away.
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More of an emphasis on character development and conflict resolution
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Reply #382. May 18 12, 3:07 PM
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Jazmee27
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Waryn's now "The Cobra" (still "Our Worst Nightmare")
And he's still Ontario's son
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- In the first one, Isabelle gives birth to a demon named Waryn when she is fifteen: in the second version, Waryn is Ontario’s child. The one thing that is the same in both stories is that Waryn, nicknamed Our Worst Nightmare, is the product of rape.
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Reply #383. May 18 12, 3:09 PM
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Jazmee27
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In the second version and now, Quentin O'Connor is (and has been for some time) dead
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- In the first one, Anastasia and Isabelle are roommates, that is until Anastasia makes Belle uncomfortable enough to request a new room. In the second story, Anastasia now has a twin sister named Anja, who shares a room with her. The one thing that remains the same is that Belle helps Anastasia by giving her beauty tips so she can attract Alonso’s notice (although, in the first one, she has a crush on another boy—his name was Quentin, I believe—first).
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Reply #384. May 18 12, 3:10 PM
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Jazmee27
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There's a difference in who fathered her child
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- In both versions, Maria has a kid named Connor and has been married twice with disastrous results. The difference, apart from age, is that she gets married again in the second one—that and the ages are drastically different.
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Reply #385. May 18 12, 3:12 PM
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Jazmee27
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Actually, it was thought they were until their father resurfaced (the way the story is now, though, they are truly orphans)
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- In the first one, Ontario and Alonso are adopted; in the second one, they’re just orphans.
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Reply #386. May 18 12, 3:13 PM
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Jazmee27
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One thing I am determined to do is see that Anja's death (if I decide to go that route again) ISN'T CONSIDERED A SUICIDE, even fora second.
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- In the second one, someone is murdered—well, at first it’s assumed she committed suicide—and there are a lot of details which just don’t make sense, no matter how many of them come to light. Plus, I introduce a lot of extra characters in the second one.
So, what to do? Combine stories. It won’t happen overnight, but I don’t intend to write this a fourth time. Three is enough.
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Reply #387. May 18 12, 3:15 PM
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Jazmee27
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I still can't manage to, and have in fact decided to rename the story altogether
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Where the exact inspiration for “Village Streets,” like so many of my stories and story ideas, is unknown—but if I had to venture a guess, I’d say quite a bit is rooted in my anthropology, socio,logy, psychology, and human services classes at college (well, maybe a bit of history thrown into the mix [it seems that anything which impacts me becomes inspiration for a story sometime down the line {and let’s not forget the literature I’ve read through the years: I’m fairly certain ‘The Fire Kimono’ played a part}]).
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Reply #388. May 18 12, 3:17 PM
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Jazmee27
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To examine the roots of my ideas is like, well, searching for a single copy of a book in a *huge library, and we’re not talking about one with dozens of copies here, but one with only one remaining manuscript. Well, maybe narrowing down my ideas is a *little easier than that… perhaps not. It seems that, as the years pass, my writing becomes more complex—as do the ideas, and the list of possible inspirations grows longer and longer.
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Reply #389. May 18 12, 3:18 PM
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Jazmee27
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But there was a time when, while I enjoyed writing, I could never keep any of it, constantly downgrading everything I put on paper (or, as it were, on the screen), reediting and revising to the point that, even had the story flowed to begin with [which, 99.999% of the time, it didn’t], it now did exactly the opposite. Sentences were stilted, as if taken from the mouth of a five-year-old. And every author, or prospective author, knows how bad it is when **the *author can’t stand his or her own work!
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Reply #390. May 18 12, 3:19 PM
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Jazmee27
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let’s *try not to be sidetracked, shall we? We were talking about the village; as far as villages go (and I have a whole planet full of them [the name’s Matreiyna, and there are nine kingdoms on it, each one divided into numerous villages {the topic of “Village Streets” is a place called Armana, which is located in the kingdom of Scenoria, on the westernmost side, the last village before you come to the Velaquesahni River—and, on the other side, the kingdom of Scenoria}]).
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Reply #391. May 18 12, 3:22 PM
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Jazmee27
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I’ve written various drafts of this one already, without success; invariably, there’s always something wrong with it, and I can’t seem to finish. There might be too many intertwined plots, or the characters seem to be too weak, or… I’m sure you get the picture.
So as I prepare to revisit the village, to invent another draft, one question floats to the fore of my thoughts: What, exactly, am I looking for? And the answer is, I don’t know. And this, undoubtedly, is why the drafts remain incomplete.
But one of these days, even if it takes me years upon years, I vow to finish a version that will do me proud every time I look at it. Hey, I don’t want to publish, but having said that, at least to be able to *read my own work without constantly editing or revising or analyzing…
Is that even possible, with inspiration constantly coming to me?
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Reply #392. May 18 12, 3:24 PM
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Jazmee27
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As if any of my characters AREN'T complicated!
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The character of Maria is a complicated one. In the first one, I had her known throughout as Mrs. Rivera, and in the second one as Maria Mathieson-Rivera.In both stories, she’s been married more than once, although I make that more clear in the second than in the first. In fact, |
Reply #393. May 18 12, 3:25 PM
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Jazmee27
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the first one has her almost remarry her first love—until she learns, along with everyone else, that he’s made one of her students pregnant; in the second one, Maria eventually marries Devlyn, making him her third husband.
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Reply #394. May 18 12, 3:26 PM
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Jazmee27
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NOTHING'S WRITTEN IN STONE
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In the third drama, I seem to go back to the first plotline—Maria marries Lucian, then… and that’s where the similarities end, because in this one, she doesn’t marry Roberto Rivera, though he still ends up being the father of her child, Connor. And the worst of it is, Lucian divorces Maria because he won’t allow her to explain what happened—though it’ll be years before she understands it herself: Roberto, who was born in Mnoibrvana and whose birth name is M zentorka Mzurviyah (what appears to be the last name is his first name [many of my kingdoms do their naming like that]), just so happens to be good friends with this evil dude named Ferguson (if demons can even be said to have friends [well, there’s at least one individual a demon cares about {in most cases}]). Where it gets really tricky is, Ferguson turns out to be Lucian’s father, though he has four other children—only three of whom are considered worthy (meaning they follow Dark pathways [those three are named {in descending order, from youngest to oldest} Lachlainn, Fergus and Conan]). Seeing as how The Dark will do anything to humiliate The Light and make their lives miserable, Ferguson (whose name in Scenorian is Vortresahno Mtthentok [he has a brother, Iainn, whose name Is Vortresahno Ethyravon, but he doesn’t take part in this scheme {the most Ethyravon does is make sure everything’s safe before his brother and assistants carry out their deadly scheme]) watches his “unworthy” offspring and his daughter-in-law for the proper moment, when he has Roberto “talk” to Maria (I won’t say any more, as I might give it away [plus, there are always details that need to be ironed out when I have an idea like this {suffice it to say, Maria learns she’s pregnant shortly after that “talk,” and Lucian files for divorce}]).
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Some of the details outlined here are simply inaccurate
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Reply #395. May 18 12, 3:28 PM
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Jazmee27
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Some things have a profound impact
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One of the many stories I’ve attempted to write over the years was called “Worlds Divided”. I think the original took place aboard a spacecraft or something, and focused primarily on the problems associated with racism. But I could never finish it, presumably due to a conflict going on in my life at the time: namely, “young, impressionable teen encounters racism firsthand.”
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Reply #396. May 18 12, 3:29 PM
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Jazmee27
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That only scratches the surface
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The details are etched onto my mind for all eternity, whether I like it or not, which I most certainly don’t, as it taught me about some deeply ingrained beliefs in my own family which I wish were not there. And, for the record, let’s dispel a myth: merely having friends of another race, or maybe having made such acquaintances and being polite, does not mean you don’t still hold prejudicial views—and are therefore racist (it just may not be *overt racism). |
Reply #397. May 18 12, 3:31 PM
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Jazmee27
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YOU MEAN THERE'S SUCH A THING AS "COVERT" RACISM?
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To me, racism and discrimination, so far as it applies to other races, are one and the same thing (don’t get me started on the discrimination issue as it pertains to people with disabilities or we’ll wander off topic, and it’ll take all day to get back to the original point of this rant/story)!
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Reply #398. May 18 12, 3:32 PM
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Jazmee27
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I didn't realize you were so influenced
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So… Mom had met this guy, see, and he was really nice, and I didn’t know until she told me he was black, but even after she told me, it was OK (they portray black and/or Hispanic people as rotten eggs, but I know plenty of those who are white [scoot back to the safe zone and tell the story {I’m easily distracted, can’t you tell? Doesn’t make me mentally unbalanced or anything, it’s just a fact of life}]).
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More easily distracted at times overothers
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Reply #399. May 18 12, 3:33 PM
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Jazmee27
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Do you STILL ramble like this?
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Anyway, it didn’t become an issue until Grandma started acting odd, refusing to come to functions in which he was (but that’s only part of the problem: the clincher was when I told her about a story I was writing [the name eludes me] in which one of the main characters is white, and she marries a black man [I’ll always remember her response, and that’s what, I feel, caused me to turn against Edy for a short time—he didn’t seem to notice, but I was more distant in my interactions, and I felt torn between Grandma and him {confusing, I know, but when I’m on a role, I tend to ramble}]).
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Reply #400. May 18 12, 3:35 PM
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