| Jazmee27
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AHA--SO THIS IS WHEN I STARTED!
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“Deep inside, my heart is broking./Broken bones from separation./Don’t you know it’s violation?” – Daughtry, All These Lives
“I’ve felt this emptiness before/But all the times that I’ve been broken/I still run right back for more” – Daughtry, “Learned My Lesson”
Of all the music I own, few fit as well as these two songs. Whenever I used the song in the drama, no reading material was behind it; it’s all based on personal experience… and a bit of imagination.
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Reply #861. Jun 15 12, 10:13 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
One of my friends from “School to Work was named Natasha Trout. Not many people understood her; that’s hardly changed. I don’t know what mental illness she’s been diagnosed with, but whatever she has it makes social interactions awkward at best. Her speech is halting, and she often stands with her head down—but when she laughed, it sounded like a tinkling bell that lit up the whole room. And I hate to say it, but she always reminded me of a small child; so does Georgette—somehow, though, Georgette manages to be positive and upbeat despite her health problems and the loss of her father.
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Reply #862. Jun 15 12, 10:14 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
But what about those who just “can’t take it anymore”? What if they can’t bare to discuss their grief, even with their closest loved ones, because the mere thought brings more mental anguish? These are the questions I contemplate, as I listen to tape five, adding sections here and there to make the story better.
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Reply #863. Jun 15 12, 10:14 AM
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| Jazmee27
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EVEN I DIDN'TUNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I WAS DOING HERE
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The storyline was mainly mine, though with some input from Tiffany. First of all, the character of Anja Godunov, only in this series, was modeled off of Tasha –I even managed to do the voice. It helped that I was in between transitions, getting ready to move from Mom’s to my own place. I was terrified and needed something to distract myself—and so, as in the past when I was really stressed, I turned to the drama.
I also incorporated my cousin’s overdose into the story—though that’s on a different tape—six, I believe.
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Reply #864. Jun 15 12, 10:16 AM
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| Jazmee27
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THOUGH LATER IT TURNED OUT TO BE FAR MORE COMPLEX THAN ANY OF THAT
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The School for Gifted Pupils hosts another of their dances, but this one’s filled with anything but celebration: Brendyn, Anja’s boyfriend, has just broken up with her—and has the audacity to dedicate Chris Brown’s “Say Goodbye”. As Anastasia says, “that’s one of those songs you just don’t dedicate to someone. Everyone, with the exception of Connkor—who doesn’t care, understandably upset by the news.
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Reply #865. Jun 15 12, 10:17 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
When the dance is interrupted by a fierce storm and the power goes out, everyone gets sidetracked—Connor hides under a table, Isabelle clings to Preston, and Anastasia likewise grips Alonso. Meanwhile, Anja cowers in a corner—and Brendyn another.
Actually, one idea *is from literature—the part where the Gonzales twins and Devlyn are close to losing control of their Firestarting Gift. Devlyn’s upset by the storm, which is perpetuated by one of the Dark, but the other two are furious with their older brother—even if neither has figured that out specifically yet.
After Preston uses his magic to zap in some light—candles—they notice Anja trembling against the far wall.
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Reply #866. Jun 15 12, 10:18 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
Ontario (eyes narrowing): Brendyn, you didn’t do anything else to Anja, did you?
Brendyn (innocently): Whatever do you mean?
Ontario (icily): You forced yourself on her, didn’t you?
Brendyn (shocked): Now, why would I do that?
Ontario (stepping forward and pinning his sibling against the wall): You tell me.
Devlyn: What I don’t get is, why would he do something like that, then claim he didn’t?
Anja (between sobs): To protect himself, that’s why!
Ontario (eyes blazing murderously): Protect yourself from what?
Brendyn (shrinking back slightly, but still majnaging to sound defiant): From you.
Ontario (to Harmony) Excuse me. (To Alonso) I think we need to have a brotherly *chat with Brendyn here.
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Reply #867. Jun 15 12, 10:19 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
Brendyn: I’ve never seen you so mad!
Ontario (through gritted teeth): Why *wouldn’t I be mad?
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YEAH REALLY!
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Reply #868. Jun 15 12, 10:19 AM
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| Jazmee27
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GOING BACK TO "LOVELY NEIGHBOR"
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“It’s been two weeks, and…” I don’t know what noise she’s accusing me of making, but I’m not guiolty of any—and I told her that. “You want me to get a tape recorder?” Go ahead, I hissed at her, feeling something inside me snap. Had she been yelling, I honestly don’t know what I’d have done…
After repeating about four or five times that I *wasn’t making any noise, I shut the door—and began berating myself for having oopened it in the first place. |
Reply #869. Jun 15 12, 10:21 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
Maybe I was just so shocked that she was still here that I forgot all the safety concerns which prompted me to vow *never to open the door to her ever again.
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Reply #870. Jun 15 12, 10:22 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
I know she’s just concerned, but… whether she intended to frighten me or not, she succeeded. Add to that the noises I heard—some from outside, others which sounded suspiciously like they came from the door of my apartment—and you have the recipe for a sleepless night. Add to that certain nightmarish aspects of my stories, and you have an even greater disaster.
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Reply #871. Jun 15 12, 10:23 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
I’ve been beating myself about the head since I opened the door yesterday to that woman. “The only reason to open that door would be an emergency,” Mom scolded tonight. Then she added, “what if she’d attacked you?” And what if the person on the other side of the door had been someone other than a neighborsomeone who wanted to harm me? And it could have been the late hour, or the guilt, or any mixture of things, but I immediately thought of Mike—and my heart began to pound.
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Reply #872. Jun 15 12, 10:23 AM
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| Jazmee27
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YES, I KNOW--I CAN'T SEEM TO GET MY SPELLINGS STRAIGHT
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Charmaine’s been up here twice in the past 24 hours, and the people in the office told me there’s nothing they can do. And, since I’m terrified and have reached the breaking point, I’ve called the police.
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Reply #873. Jun 15 12, 10:26 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
The first visit was last night at 8:30, right after Mom had left my apartment. Ironically, as she was coming up in the elevator, she met up with Charmaine and her husband, Robert, and both were quite cordial. But when ??Charmaine spoke to me, not so much: “I realize you’re blind, but you can hear, and you’re being an inconsiderate neighbor, and my husband doesn’t feel well, and I’m not coming up here again, but if this noise continues I’ll be dealing directly with Sue.” And this afternoon, around 12:30: “if this continues, I’m calling the police.”
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Reply #874. Jun 15 12, 10:26 AM
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| Jazmee27
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I SHOULD, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WITH IT
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I didn’t have the number for the local police, but called 911 and told the dispatcher it wasn’t an emergency but I wanted a trooper to come out. So Officer Smith came, and he was a state trooper. He told me if Charmaine comes up here again, she could get a citation; and the reverse is true for me—but as I never went down there in the first place, it’s kind of irrelevant.
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Reply #875. Jun 15 12, 10:27 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
I should have known the ladies would know about the state trooper at Charlaine’s. What I can’t get over is that they assume *she called him! And, to top it off, Julia’s told the other women she thinks I’m making at least some noise, or Charlaine wouldn’t be coming up here! “I don’t believe she’s making it all up.” And no matter how many times I tell her my walker’s not making noise—that I pick up even the slightest sound after quiet time and cut down on any I make—she doesn’t budge: “You must be making some noise, otherwise she wouldn’t be coming up to your place.” Really?
Then again, I need to remind myself Julia doesn’t know the woman. “I quit talking to her that day she came up to me for money.” And this is also a woman who doesn’t believe anyone in the building has a mental disorder, just because “it’s not designed for that.”
But both Mom and Grandma agree Charlaine has mental issues. I just hope Officer Smith had the desired effect on her. As Grandma said earlier, “people tend to be more intimidated by state cops. I don’t know why, but…”
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Reply #876. Jun 15 12, 10:28 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
I was in the bathroom when the thought occurred to me: If Charlaine hadn’t already pushed me so far away with her repellent behavior, she’d be someone I’d feel sorry for, and would try mightily to befriend. But there’s no way on Earth, not after all she’s put me through… I’m not the same woman who’s “too forgiving”. Yes, getting another in trouble is against my nature; and yes, I let her nonsense go for far longer than I should have. But enough is enough
Part of the problem, I suppose, stems back to my school days—when I’d get in trouble because I retaliated to a bully’s teasing. Now, I hardly know *what to do when similar situations present themselves. I guess, in just a few words, I’ve gone to the opposite extreme. ‘Which means I’ve never truly learned my lesson when it comes to bullies.’
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Reply #877. Jun 15 12, 10:29 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
A similar scene will most likely be in the third tape series: After the dance and fierce power outage on tape five, Maria goes to her room to sleep—as Preston suggests: “I suggest you go to bed since the storm doesn’t appear to be abating anytime soon.” Shortly after the Assistant Headmistress closes the door, however, her son comes to beg him entry. (When the storm started, and Connor was hiding under the desk, he kept calling her “Mommy.”)
Maria: Since when does he call me that?
Lucian: You want us to get your bottle?
Maria: Or would you prefer your binkie and your whoopee?
Devlyn: Oh My God, Connor! How old are you? Nine?
Connor: Mom—I can’t believe you just brought that up!
Maria: I fail to see what’s so embarrassing about any binkie or whoopee—that you still have—when you pee yourself every day.
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Reply #878. Jun 15 12, 10:31 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
At first, Maria adamantly refuses to let her son in—then gives in when he persists:
Maria: You’re way past the age when you should be sleeping with me… You’re also way past the age when you should be using your binkie and whoopee, but I can’t help that—if I *try to take them from you, you just snatch them back! But sleeping in here is—
Connor: But, Mommy!
Maria: Fine—there’s the floor!
Connor: But Mommy!
Maria: Don’t call me Mommy… You have your binkie—that’ll be your blanket—and you have your whoopee. What else could you possibly want?
Then Connor’s voice changes to that of a two-year-old:
Connor: Don’t be mad, Mommmy, me scawed, me fwightened.
Maria (exasperated): Connor! Go to sleep—so *I can go to sleep!
Connor: I can’t do dat!
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Reply #879. Jun 15 12, 10:33 AM
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| Jazmee27
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======
Yet, somehow, he does sleep—and although his mother falls asleep at some point herself, in the morning she feels completely unrested. Then, Preston notices a weak spot in the wall directly across from her chamber :
Preston: Viktorio got through… not all the way, but enough to allow him to play with the boy’s mind.
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Reply #880. Jun 15 12, 10:33 AM
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