| Jazmee27
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Then I told her about my own precautions: “Really? Are you sure you want to do that? Will you be comfortable on the couch?” Forget for a moment I’ve done it before—several times in the winter, when the wind whistled outside my window.
“Are you lying with your head facing the window, or down toard Ethan’s cage?” Well, come to think of it… “I’d put your head at the other end.” OK-that makes sense. “And his cage is partially covered, right?” Well, no—the cover fell down and I didn’t think to pick it up.
So, when I hung up I went over to the light switch so I wouldn’t scare the poor bird, then sat on the stuffed chair to retrieve the cover so I could put it back on. I also changecd into a shirt and pants set instead of the nightgown I’d had on. Only then did I rearrange the pillows so my head was at the bottom of the couch by Ethan’s cage. I may be overreacting with these precautions, but one can’t be too careful. Plus, if we get the high winds and thunderstorms we’re supposed to, I’ll be comforted to know Ethan’s still in the room. And last night’s dream is still with me.
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Reply #901. Jun 16 12, 8:25 PM
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| Jazmee27
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On January 6, 2005, Edy and his two childrenthen ten and eleven, came home from the YMCA like they did every night around that time, to find me crying hysterically. My 6- or 7-year-old parakeet, Ellie, had just died in my hand. “It’s just a dumb bird,” Edy told me harshly. Later that same night, Edward came to my room to apologize for his father, saying what he’d said to me was rude. I don’t know what Elysha’s thoughts on the matter were—she always kept to herself—except when it came to her hateful, resentful attitude. Part of me knows Edy didn’t necessarily mean to be insensitive; according to him, (1) only people are deserving of grief, and (2) animals should be allowed to roam free and thus should never be someone’s pet. |
Reply #902. Jun 16 12, 8:26 PM
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| Jazmee27
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As of 4:39 in the morning, I was back in my own bed. Before that, I’d made some wrong movement, and pulled a muscle in my back. And I fell on my way back from the bathroom—which was when I went into my room.
Before that, there was a moment in which the silence was so profound I thought I’d lost electric—but trying the light switch proved otherwise. It’s just another reminder that sometimes the refrigerator makes noise, and at other times it doesn’t.
When I finally got moving, around 9:10, I immediately flipped one of the two switches on the wall in the bathroom. I may not, under ordinary circumstances, need the light or the fan, but it’s a good way to test for power. So far, it’s holding—but Mom’s out, as is her job. As a result, she had to go into the office.
From what I can glean from the radio, the winds are supposed to die down sometime tonight, and both a ‘flood warning,’ and a ‘tropical storm warning’ have been issued.
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Reply #903. Jun 16 12, 8:28 PM
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| Jazmee27
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So far, Grandma has electric and no water in the basement—surprising, as the creek’s overflowed its banks. She was talking to Anita earlier, and she said Charlie’s stuck down in Baltimore, and a tree smashed down on Darlene’s car. Other than that, all is quiet.
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Reply #904. Jun 16 12, 8:29 PM
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| Jazmee27
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“The walls between/You and I/Always pushing us apart nothing left but scars fight after fight/The space between/Our calm and rage/Started growing smaller, disappearing slowly day after day.” – Skillet, “The Older I Get”
It’s funny how the words of a song can have so many varied meanings, and sometimes that meaning even changes from day to day. This one, it makes me reflect on how Elysha and I seemed never to get along—yet, she still sought a relationship with me. And one moment, she was a pleasure to be around, but the moment she didn’t get her way she’d turn on me—or anyone else in the vicinity, whether it be her older brother, my mother, or her father.Even now, I still want to be friends with the young woman, despite how nasty she has been to me in the past. However, part of me knew, when she was as young as eight, that a friend she would never be. “I’ve been told I’m too forgiving,” I told Grandma when lunch was over today. “I’ll bend over backwards to befriend someone—but there’s a point at which enough is enough. With Elysha, it was when she stole my bus money… She later fessed up, but she never acted as if she was sorry.” I’m also beginning to suspect that some of the “trouble” Edward got into with his father was really her doing—but even when she *did get in trouble, she refused to take responsibility **for *anything!
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Reply #905. Jun 16 12, 8:32 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Edy’s always shown favoritism to Elysha, showering her with affection so much more than her brother—and Edward’s oldest, by the way. He criticized the boy repeatedly while growing up, stating more than once that he couldn’t wait for him to get in trouble with the law.
Then, there’s Elysha’s apparent need to defend her mother, whom I’m afraid has… I’m unsure how to say this, but everything I’ve heard about her leads me to the conclusion that her daughter is just as bitter and hateful and resentful as her mother.
Since Edy and the children moved away, Edward’s made an effort to keep in touch with us—with Elysha, it’s Mom doing the reaching out. And though I’ve seen Edward at times—before he went to church—the last time I saw Elysha was in March when we went to see the musical.
As for Edy, Grandma believes the only reason he fought for primary custody of the kids was so he didn’t have to pay child support. Given how little he was home, and how self-absorbed he was when he was, I have to agree.
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Reply #906. Jun 16 12, 8:33 PM
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| Jazmee27
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COULD IT BE YOU OVERTHOUGHT THIS, SEEING A PROBLEM WHERE THERE WAS NONE?
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It’s one of those times I sit there thinking, ‘what?’
When Mom called earlier to ask what I was doing, I replied truthfully that I was reading one of the Virtual Blogs on FunTrivia. I explained, as best I could, what makes it “virtual,” and she asked if I had one. I told her I did, and that I mention different aspects of my daily life.
- Mom: Am I in there?
- Me: Yes.
- Mom: Anything I should be worried about?
- Me: No—nothing but good, Mom.
- Mom: Do you include an ything personal out there?
- Me (hesitantly): It depends what you mean by “personal.”
- Mom: Do you mention my name?
- Me: No.
- Do you mention where I work?
- Me: I don’t think so.
- Mom: Do you mention my title?
- Me (hesitantly): Yeah. [WHAT DO YOU MEAN? NO YOU DON'T!]
- Mom: Don’t do that again… You realize you just violated my privacy?
Oops.
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Reply #907. Jun 16 12, 8:37 PM
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| Jazmee27
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SEPTEMBER 3, 2011
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Georgette and I decided against going to Karaoke night, opting instead to sit on the balcony with Mom.
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Reply #908. Jun 16 12, 8:39 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Georgette got here shortly before 2. We talked a bit, ate a snack of Party Mix, talked some more, then ordered dinner from Amarco’s. For me, it was a small grilled chicken salad with no tomato and no onion, an order of corn nuggets, and a 24-ounce Coke; for her, a small grilled chicken tenderloin sub with tomato, lettuce, onion and mayo, an order of breaded mushrooms and a 24-ounce Diet Coke. I didn’t eat the salad, as I was still full from the snack earlier—but aI did eat the corn nuggets as I don’t think they’d be good reheated.
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Reply #909. Jun 16 12, 8:40 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Mom got here around quarter of six. By then, Georgette and I had determined we weren’t going to karaoke. Instead, Mom showed Georgette pictures from her trip to Hilton Head, SC. But first, she let the bird out for a bit; both Georgette and I got to hold Ethan on our finger for a little. Then he went back, as she was about to log on to Facebook. Photos included:
- Spanish moss;
- The beach;
- Some of the restaurants she went to with her friend Ruth—and her three kids—Alexa, Shayley and Ray.;
- A boa constrictor;
- An alligator sticking his head out of the duckgrass; and
- Dolphins.
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Reply #910. Jun 16 12, 8:40 PM
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| Jazmee27
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When we went out on the balcony, Jo and Barb—the two ladies who hang out in front of the elevators each night—were already sitting on two of the three lawn chairs Mom had provided. They were about to get up, but we insisted they stay put, and I sat down in the remaining chair while Mom and Georgette went in for extra chairs.
When Mom came out, she had the apartment newsletter, which Georgette had been reading when she got here. I know she read through the birthdays, but I’m not sure what else as she read it to herself.
Mom read te jokes to us, which were about elephants. My favorite was:
- What do you get if you cross an elephant and a skunk?
A smell you’ll never forget!
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Reply #911. Jun 16 12, 8:41 PM
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| Jazmee27
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I can’t remember the year, but other details are fixed in my memory. The date was September 4, a Sunday, and the kids were due to return from their mother’s that evening. It was Elysha’s birthday, and I had spent countless hours thinking of the kids and wishing them a good weekend.
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Reply #912. Jun 16 12, 8:43 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Time passed by slowly without incident. And then, without warning, all hell broke loose. Edy called the family downstairs for a meeting, and I was the last to join them at the kitchen table. Mom was there, and the children on either side, with Edy at the end.
The discussion sparked outrage and an investigation by Children and Youth Services… the gist of the meeting being that Elysha claimed Mom had hit her.
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Reply #913. Jun 16 12, 8:44 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Mom and I made a plan yesterday to get together today around 2:30 or 3.
Mom: I would have liked to invite you here, but I have plumbing issues.
Me: Still?
Mom: I never took care of them.
So, either we’re both going down to Grandma’s, or they’re coming to my place. Not that I care, but Grandma…
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Reply #914. Jun 16 12, 8:45 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Grandma: When will I know what I’m supposed to do?
Me: Someone will be in touch as soon as the plan’s finalized’
To an extent, I can do spontaneous, and I’m trying to be more flexible. Grandma, on the other hand, can’t do it.
Mom: Doesn’t she understand “need to know”? Apparently not!
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Reply #915. Jun 16 12, 8:46 PM
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| Jazmee27
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“Somebody get me through this nightmare/I can’t control myself/Somebody wake me from this nightmare/I can’t escape this hell.” – Three Days Grace, “Animal I Have Become”
Will I ever be able to forget the man who caused me so much grief in early life, the man I once thought was my father—but who isn’t related to me? Maybe if I knew who my father wasno matter how bad a person he was or how upsetting the story… Or, perhaps, after eight to ten years of no contact? Wishful thinking?
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Reply #916. Jun 16 12, 8:47 PM
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| Jazmee27
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Mom married Mike “Hat” when I was four—his last name isn’t “hat,” but it certainly is a type of hat. The marriage wasn’t a happy one, and I don’t get how she could have put up with his abuse for as long as she did. The walls were thin as paper, and I remember at least one occasion in which I turned up the music to drown out the sounds of smacking and cursing. Also, he’d paddle me for misbehaving—if Mom ever did, it was with her hqand, not a wooden paddle.
I remember vividly that, when we left Mike, I was furious with Mom for what I thought of as “you taking me from Dad!” 32We lived at Grandma’s for a time while Mom looked for a new place. Turns out, the new apartment was on the opposite end of town. Two primary reasons, Mom’s work and my school, factored into our living arrangements.And I think credit played a role as well.—in most cases, divorce isn’t pretty, but for us it was certainly hell.
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Reply #917. Jun 16 12, 8:48 PM
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| Jazmee27
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So many details of that time are a blur, most likely due to the ordeal I experienced the summer I was twelve. Mind you, all the perpetrator—a guy named Dave L—did was touch, or molest, me—and he stopped as soon as I got my voice working and told him to stop. But still… That, combined with the earlier trauma, spelled even greater trauma.
I know, in the back of my mind, it was a long time ago—and, therefore, I should be well over it by now. But I can’t seem t o truly get past it.
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Reply #918. Jun 16 12, 8:49 PM
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| Jazmee27
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SEPTEMBER 8, 2011
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The first thing Mom asked me when she got me on the phone was, “Are you OK?”
Me: Yeah, I’m fine.
Mom: Good, because you just survived Hurricane Lee.
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Reply #919. Jun 16 12, 8:50 PM
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| Jazmee27
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As I listened to the “collateral damage,” I was stunned:
Mom: The Hyman Kaplan had to be evacuated because they had several feet of water in their basement… In Annville, apparently between the High School and the Elementary School, the bridge over the Quitty was washed out… I feel like I was hit by a truck, because I got a call at 12:30 to go into work because we had water in the one elevator… I called your grandmother, they’re OK, but they have multiple pumps running.”
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Reply #920. Jun 16 12, 8:51 PM
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