MORE CRAZY STUFF FOR PEOPLE TO ENJOY I KNOW I DID!!!

Things you'll never hear one man say to another

1. Does my butt look fat in this?

2. I'm tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?

3. I can't stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!

4. Yours is bigger than mine.

5. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.

6. There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.

7. Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!

8. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commercials.

9. I'm deeply offended by young women who go braless.

10. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the important thing.

Things you'll never hear one woman say to another

1. That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?

2. Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think I'll go introduce myself!

3. His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and I'm happy for them both.

4. If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody.

5. He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.

6. I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day!

7. We're redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him with the color choices!

8. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

9. Why can't I find a guy who'll have a wild carefree night of sex and then just go his seperate way for once?

10. I just realized -- my butt doesn't look fat in this -- my butt is fat!