Now it's her turn to be bullied
Greetings all.. it's been a while. some of you may remember last year, and the year before come to think of it.. Wonderboy getting bullied and beaten up. well, now it's the Fairy Princess;s turn. she's 11 years old. 11. The other day, she was on msn,(which she will never go on again) and started receiving all this nasty stuff. I mean REALLY nasty stuff, from a couple of girls in her class. She finally hit breaking point, burst into tears and called WB in to save the day. Now, he is going on 16 this year... so he;s reading this stuff... it's bad enough what they;re saying about her, but then they started slagging ME off! They're saying things like, "you only became student councillor because your mother is blah blah blah blah.. and is friends with the teachers". This IS NOT correct...I do a lot at the school music wise... I play for the choir, and for assemblies and stuff like that, but there are far more parents that have more interaction than me. So, WB in typical almost 16 year old fashion, announced several times that it was him speaking, and then told them to go get.. well you can guess. (I was secretly pleased that he stood up for us.. well me actually, he said "Mumsie, when I saw what they were saying about you, I went nuts) Bless him..
FP, came into our room at midnight that night, crying her little heart out, and, stayed home the next day, as she'd had no sleep. The next day, when I went to drop her off, another mum came out crying.... and told me I had to go in to the class. These delightful girls, had been conducting a survey amongst the other kids, wanting to know who hates my daughter, and if they don;t they better if they knew what was good for them. THese girls just sneered at me as I walked in....Unfortunately, I sort of lost it when I found out what was going on, and raised my voice so they could all hear, telling them that no... my kid hadn't said the things they were saying she had, then scared the crap out of a few of them by screaming... AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I HAVE PRINTED OUT THE CONVERSATIONS AND THE EMAILS SHE GOT. I think one of them nearly soiled herself.
so, I ended up in the office for ages, and they promised they'd sort it out.. they talked to all of the girls individually, and threatened to call their parents. Threatened. Whoopdedoo! Even Karl went down after i'd been there, and told them that if it wasnt sorted, he'd take it inot his own hands. Don't do that, he was told, it could only make it worse. How much bloody worse can it get? FP absolutely loves school. She was so happy to be made councillor, which the kids have to vote for....and now, she goes to school reluctantly, believing that everybody hates her. she's not a perfect kid by any means, but she doesnt have a nasty bone in her body. She doesn't give in to peer pressure, if people are being mean to someone, she'll choose to hang witht the someone. She spends most of her time with a kid who is autistic, and for some reason who will only respond to her. She has been with this boy from year one, and even sometimes, other teachers will come to get her if they are having a problem with him, because she is the only one who can get him to calm down and do what he;s supposed to do. For this, and for being helpful she is persecuted. She is one of these kids that will pull a rabbit out of her bum if she is asked to...(no really, she does, it;s very interesting to watch... we should put it on you tube!!)
The thing that has upset us the most, is that no disciplinary action has been taken. Not a thing. So it sets a great example eh... 2 of these girls are also councillors. I think they should have had their badges taken from them straight away. I was talking to a friend about this, and she told me about a kid at her kids' school, who was being bullied. He's a little kid, and this bigger kid kept threatening him over and over, so this kid finally found the courage to stand up to him, and headbutted the big kid, breaking his nose. The little kid has had to go to court, has been suspended, and has to go to anger management councilling, for standing up for himself. The bully? Not a thing happened to "that poor boy".
Life sucks sometimes eh?
I know what i'd like to do to these kids.... and to their parents.
Take care campers....
Love Kells xxx
8 Comments:
That is all so unfair! In our area, they've recently put new anti-bullying policies in place, including cyber-bullying. I don't know how well it's really working, because my daughter is out of school now, but something has to be better than nothing, which is what it seems your school district is offering. Perhaps you could find a couple of other parents to side with you and demand some sort of policy change?
Best wishes, and my heart and prayers go out to you.
By bionic4ever, Mar 16 07 1:33 AM
Don't get me started on bullying policies. They have loads of policies in place at my daughter's school, but do nothing when bullying occurs. One of their suggestions was that the little bitches bullying my daughter should each have a one to one session with her, so she could let them know how upset she was. Great idea. They also said she could stay in a classroom on her own at breaktimes so she didn't get bullied. No suggestion that the bullies be kept in a classroom at breaktime.
We were out shopping once and she pointed out the main culprit. I couldn't believe it - she was obese, bottle blonde and heavily made up. If you've seen Little Britain, think Vicky Pollard. I can only think she'd never looked in a mirror. I couldn't believe my daughter had let someone like that upset her by teasing her about her looks.
In the end we went to Kidscape, an anti-bullying organisation. They helped but it was heartbreaking to see some of the other kids that were being bullied, perfectly nice ordinary children who's lives were being made a misery. Joining the Army Cadets helped, it gave her confidence and I think the other kids were a little nervous about bullying someone who'd had access to firearms!
She's over the worst of it now but is paranoid about her appearance. She's dyed her lovely auburn hair black and won't go out of the house without loads of makeup.
Get it sorted now Kells, it doesn't improve with age.
By supersal1, Mar 16 07 5:55 AM
Kells, I can really empathise as I've been dealing with the same sort of situations for my daughter's entire school life. She's in Year 12 now but we're still dealing with the bullies. I'll give her school credit in that they are very prompt to act when it is brought to their attention and they do make a real effort to deal effectively with the problems. But some of these girls are so devious, that when they are caught out, it just drives them underground. Their behaviour doesn't really change - they just get sneakier about it. I agree with Sal - it doesn't get better with age. I firmly believe that my husband and I are responsible for my daughter's real education. School just teaches them to cope with a***oles (pardon my French). We educate our daughter by taking her travelling to other countries and places like theatres and museums. The interesting thing is that when my daughter was in first grade, her teacher (a wonderful woman) confided to me that, as young as they were, there were some really nasty little girls in the class and she predicted exactly which ones were going to be the Queen Bees in high school. She was right on. I try not to interfere too much, because it can make things worse, and I feel that my daughter has to learn to cope with it. It is an essential life skill. There are bullies in the workplace too. Bullies don't get cured when they finish high school. I know - I've been the victim of a workplace bully.
By MotherGoose, Mar 16 07 7:29 AM
That's really awful, Kells -but sure glad you tried to stand your ground. I think people should have to submit to IQ / horse sense tests before they are allowed to create more of their own kind. Untaught children raised in horrible homes will always take their rot into the classroom -unfortunately. I hope you can find some absolution over this matter...I have been through similar things with my girls.
You go, Kells.
By ktstew, Mar 16 07 10:53 AM
I am so sorry to hear about this. It never changes. When I was in school I was bullied so bad, I thought about suicide. That was many (many) years ago. Nothing was done then. Seems like the upper crust were too important to the community and got away with it.
It happened with my 4 kids. One episode. My daughter in high school was having probs with a gang of girls. She went to the office and told them the girls were waiting down the hall to beat her up. They told her to go to class...they wouldnt in plain view of the office window. Well, they beat her up pretty bad and broke her glasses. She did fight back and she was suspended. After we made a police report, the ring leader was then suspended.
Ironically, I just heard this story brought up the other day by my daughter who is a mother of 5 now, and dealing with hers getting bullied...believe it or not...by a teacher.
She related that "Mom was so mad about me getting suspended, that she went right to the school during the class changes, and stopped the Vice-Principal who suspended me. She asked why I was suspended when I was only defending myself, and he said that fighting of any kind in his school is not permitted! Mom got loud and said, does that mean if I kick you between the legs, you wont do anything...you wont defend yourself?" He never did answer. I have been to the grade and high school so many times...finally got a break when I home schooled the last 2 for 5 years. I also had my 4 kids take karate classes. It does teach you how to not let bullies get to you, that you dont need to use physical force except in dangerous situations. And its something they can always use even after they leave school....they learn self confidence. Bullies cant stand it if their victims arent scared and can walk away.
They have alot about bullying on the news these days. Its still a big problem. Even when it makes the news, alot of kids are still suffering in silence. Its not only kids bullying, but teachers. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. She's certainly not alone.
Let us know how shes doing from time to time :) ~Joanie~
By joaniem, Mar 16 07 3:53 PM
So sorry that you and your daughter have to go through this. Ran across this article from the San Francisco Chronicle just today: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/03/17/MNGGEON77L1.DTL Nothing new to you probably, just more validation.
Only one of my four children (the shy one) was bullied, but he has turned out to be a very successful adult. Best to you. ~Veronica
By Verbonica, Mar 17 07 9:47 AM
I'm so sorry Kells. Yes, the other girls should lose their badges, they are behaving like spoiled, little brats. FP is a great kid and these kids are just, well, I can't even say the word here. You know the word I'm thinking, just fill it in. WB should get a medal, way to stick up for mumsie!
I hate that schools don't take this stuff seriously enough. It makes me sick. We had the same problem with Rhi and a boy in her class a few years ago. It got so bad, I finally told the principal that Rhi was liable to snap and punch the kid. I said if she did, I didn't really want to hear it from the school since they were doing diddly over squat to fix the problem. Of course, this kid's dad shows up for a meeting with the whole "Not my kid" line of bull until the teacher's aide pulled out her notes. It seems his perfect little boy was bullying half the class! I don't ever condone violence, but Rhi was at that point and the adults who were supposed to stop it did nothing. They eventually did because mom is the last person on earth they want to deal with.
I hope things clear up for FP soon. It sucks that she doesn't enjoy school because of these brats.
By IndieQueen, Mar 17 07 11:57 AM
that's what I went through.
kells...worst feeling ever. I don't remember ever feeling as low as I did those days.
and principals are useless.
they really don't care.
I watched a cnn show on a case in calgary where a young boy actually took his own life.
only then did the principal say "we grieve the loss..."
I was so sick watching it.
By Priscilla9, Mar 26 07 2:50 PM