Who did I kill in a past life?
Seriously, I must have killed someone important in a past life, that's the only explanation. I'm so angry and so ticked and miffed and well, just get a thesaurus and look up any word synonymous with peeved, multiply it by 1000 and you'll get my frame of mind. After the stunt her solicitors pulled with waiting until 5 days before the hearing to ask me to testify, we thought it was impossible and I wouldn't have to. Well, apparently, my definition of impossible differs greatly from theirs. The only thing I can work out is a conference call to my job. I can't take a day off to go to Pittsburgh and give video evidence and I can't take the day off work to sit at home and answer their questions, so I have to do it this way. I'm not much happier with his solicitor right now. Basically, I feel I've been bullied and intimidaged into giving evidence when I'm not prepared to and I don't have any legal representation of my own. Doesn't matter. None of my concerns seem to matter. Again, his crazy ex wins. This woman is hell bent on dragging everyone's lives down and she's doing a stellar job. I haven't cried this much in ages. I'm terrified, panicked, sick and miserable. I've never been to court before in my life. Worse yet, I get to go through it here by myself. In my office at work no less. His solicitor told me that I should just "move on with it as if my boss said yes" when I made it clear to him I couldn't even ask my boss for days! Then he had the nerve to ask him if I could have an answer by the end of the day today. I swear, they all have selective hearing.
At this rate, if we get the ok next week, I'll be in a mental unit by the end of the week and it won't matter anyway. Lucky for me my boss is a decent guy who said I could take the call. He's not happy about it and I have a feeling I'm really pushing my luck, but he understands. I'm glad he does because I don't. They did this on purpose and surprise, surprise there's nobody to protect me or watch over what happens or look out for my best interest in this. There's not even anybody to stand up and say "hey, this isn't right." This is what I get. Really, I should have learned my lesson a long time ago. I'm being punished and intimidated for loving somebody. It's awful to say it, but I wish I hadn't fallen for him in the first place. Hell is nothing compared to this. Right now, I'd welcome a few days respite in the 7th circle. It's bound to be more sane and less convoluted than my life right now.
8 Comments:
I know it is not this easy, but try to put it all out of your head. It is not going to do you any good to worry. It is good that your boss gave you permission to take the call. The time will come for you to answer their questions. Try not to worry after the call . It is going to be allright! I used to lie in bed night after night worrying about things. I learned that worrying did no good. What will be, will be. I wish you and your love the best of everything. I know you will soon be together.
By honeybee4, May 04 07 2:22 PM
We've seen you fawning over this man, Indie. It's clear that you're meant for him. Nothing worth having is easy, but chin up kiddo, you're doing an amazing job dealing with this with dignity and some semblance of respect in your conduct. I'm amazed that you haven't screamed at the court appointed idiot, and I commend you for it.
Just put on some Spitting Venom and let it wash over you...and remember, everyone that reads this blog is praying and hoping for you. Including me. I don't comment on a lot of your blogs, but I definately am reading, and each day I check FT merely to see how you are doing. You'll make it through this, and imagine the pay off at the end.
And speaking of hell, take solace in the fact that it's probably exactly where crazy ex will end up...
Your friend,
Milky
By milky54, May 04 07 2:59 PM
Have you been able to speak with your loved one's attorney? As a witness for his side, shouldn't that solicitor be doing something to help you? Hang on, Indie; victory will taste that much sweeter, when this is all over.
By bionic4ever, May 04 07 3:43 PM
Thanks guys. I did talk to his attorney. He wasn't much help. I don't think he quited grasped the concept of me not being familiar at all with their process.
I've played "Spitting Venom" around 10 times tonight, I feel better. Oh, and Milky dear, he says thank you very much. He also says he's really starting to like you. :)
Thank you honeybee. I know those things, but I guess I need to remind myself of them more often than I do.
By IndieQueen, May 04 07 11:30 PM
Quote of Milky's: "And speaking of hell, take solace in the fact that it's probably exactly where crazy ex will end up..."
I think hell is too GOOD a place for this loca chica. I didn't read the blogs much, but have been wishing that you and your fiancé get through this...and you will be together, without her!
I'm also in agreement with Milky that you two will still be together. If you and he can still be together through this, then there is absolutely nothing that will ever separate you!
By dg_dave, May 05 07 10:32 PM
Oh **** sweetie... just hang in there as you have for the last almost 2 years... It IS worth it...you know that more than any of us... and, although you feel you;ll be alone, you'll have all of us misfits there wiht you...(no disrespects to anyone, i'm just putting us all in the same basket.. kinda makes us all look pretty cool I think!!) You should just be able to see the speck of light at the end of a very very long tunnel by now love...as it gets bigger, just run like..**** and before you know it...he'll (Snorky!!) will be by your side....for EVER... as it should be. You;ve come this far, don;t you DARE give up now.
Here endeth the sermon. xxxxx
By kells40, May 06 07 6:22 AM
Oh yeah, hell is way too good for her.
I don't think anything could ever separate us either. He knows I've been feeling this way and he's pretty much ok with it. Well, we did have an argument about it, but his mom put him in his place. She told him he needed to see it from where I'm coming from and he needed to pick up the damn phone and say he was sorry.
I love my misfits. :) Every last one of you. You're the greatest people in my little corner of the world.
Thanks mith for the sermon. I shall take it on advisement and read it again next Sunday. :)
By IndieQueen, May 07 07 12:12 PM
"and before you know it...he'll (Snorky!!) will be by your side.."
That was evil, but oh so funny. *giggles*
By IndieQueen, May 07 07 1:09 PM