I am a Southern Girl.  We wear make-up.  We wear make-up to bring in the mail.  We wear make-up to water the lawn.  We wear make-up to feed the dog... you get the idea.  My "Yankee girl friends" find this amusing.  They do not suffer from this proclivity.  They are free.  Today, I decided to be free.  Too Free! I went to the grocery store for a 'quick trip.'  Really quick.  That was the plan.  As I said in the earlier blog, it is cold out there, but we needed stuff.  I buy food, but my kids keep eating it.... so, I ran to the  grocery.  I went as I was.  I have done this before.  I have taken the risk...Yes, my longish hair in a messy bun, baggy sweats, and tennis shoes.... comfortable, thankfully CLEAN, and warm.  I have done this several times in the past, thankfully, uneventfully so, but not today......

Immediately upon entering Kroger, I saw HIM. 

Worst Nightmare stuff, not #1, 

but definitely in the Top 10 of Worst Nightmares. 

Old Boyfriend!!!

HIM looking good, just as HE did  23 years ago when we were dating.  HIM, the last man I dated before my husband and I got married

(my now ex-husband). 

I willed myself to disappear. 

That only works in science fiction movies. 

The last time I heard from HIM or saw HIS name was in the local newspaper.  HE was getting married for the second time. 

HE was getting married to someone more than half our age. 

I was ticked. 

Since my divorce and my re-entry into the world of dating, I have observed this many times..... Men my age, dating women young enough to be their daughters.  And now, all these years later.... here I am looking so bad, and HIM looking so good.  We spoke, in a hesitant, nonchalant manner.  As if we weren't quite sure.... but, I knew and I think HE knew.  After my husband (my now ex-husband) and I were married, they ran into each other during a business transaction and HE told my husband he was lucky to have me. 

Somehow, after today, I don't think HE would say that. 

That makes me sad.  I know it's lame, but it does. 

I should have worn make-up and done something to my hair. 

I should have smiled and talked to HIM.  To me, in my panic, HE looked like a HOT 'age 50' and I looked like a pitiful, neglected 'age 50.'

 ....and HE probably still has that young wife at home (???)

I obviously have some growing up to do.  I pride myself on being non-superficial.  Yeah, right.  But, I really liked HIM once upon  a very long time ago.  I think the whole thing is like-- not really wanting to go to a party, but still wanting to be invited..... not wanting HIM, but still wanting to be wanted by HIM.  Surely, everyone can relate to that.

This is a cautionary tale for all you Southern Girls out there.  Avoid  "panic at the grocery store".... do your hair and make-up, paint your nails, wear something cute....

Who knows how many old boyfriends are lurking around out there???

Karen

RainyDayGirl

January 17, 2009

P.S.  Upon returning home, I told my daughters my tale of woe.  They are 14 and 16.  They look beautiful ALL the time.  They never need make-up.  They have nothing to hide.  They assured me that I looked great, even without make-up.  I am just as sure that they are biased.