Early Morning Quiet-Star Light and Growing Old and
I am a morning person and I want to learn to sleep late, but even when I'm up really late, my body clock just wakes me up. During the school year, when I am teaching, I get up at 4:15 AM and try to leave home by 6:30 AM. That gives me time to savor my coffee, read my Bible and my newspaper and not feel too rushed. I need to be outside my classroom, doing hall duty, by 6:45 AM. (Teenagers must be monitored closely at all times!!! )That is really early, but, I am through by 2:30 and that's really nice! This year, I am reading the Bible through for the 8th time. Every year God gives me something new and fresh and He speaks to me right where I am. It is awesome; He sustains me.
During the morning quiet, I like to go outside and get my newspaper and enjoy the nature sights and sounds that you don't see and hear during the day. It is cool and the stars and moon are bright and the insects are noisy. I try to soak it all in. I can see God's majesty and feel His presence and I am thankful. When people who don't teach school are astounded by the early hours we keep, I tell them : "the good thing about leaving for work before the sun rises is that you get to see the sun rise."
I spent a lovely day yesterday, savoring my solitude, my cats were my only companions, rehanging prints and rearranging furniture after painting a hallway and bedroom in my home. It was nice to have things back to order, after the chaos created by painting with my two teenaged daughters. My daughters walked in the door after being gone all day on a river trip with their father. They had a friend in tow from the neighborhood, and she just had to download some photographs she had taken with her digital camera on our computer for some reason. I guess she was lying in wait for them as soon as their father dropped them off. The self-absorption of teenagers amazes me, but I remember being their age and that helps. They wound up ordering pizza and watching movies and I stayed away from them. So, now in this early hour, I have my house back and I'm lovin' it.
A new 'male friend' recently asked me about the results of a personality profile test we both took. He apparently liked his results and I didn't like mine at all. Mine made me sound mean! I hesitate to share them with him because we are just getting to know each other. He is also a lot younger than I am. My birthday is August 12; I will be 49. That seems really old to me. This personality profile actually described me as 'hard nosed.' Doesn't that sound awful? Does that mean I am stubborn and unyielding and stiff and unfeeling? It's embarrassing.
Once he hears about the hard nosed thing, I probably won't hear from him again. I certainly wouldn't want to pursue a relationship with someone who is hard nosed. Even the best spin doctor, can't make that sow's ear into a silk purse. Plus, he's young; he's only 45. I want an older man. I want to be a trophy girlfriend..... I want to be the young attractive one in the couple. Relationships are so complicated. After being divorced for 8 years, it looks like I would be getting the hang of it again. I used to be really good at dating. Maybe back then, I was't so hard nosed.
But, Scarlett O'Hara is one of my favorite literary heroines and she was hard nosed. Maybe I will just embrace my hard nosed disposition and love me just as I am.
Karen ~ ~
Scarlett in Tennessee
July 6, 2007 Early AM ;-)
Lord, bless me with the choice gift of rain from the heavens,
with the best gifts of the earth and its fullness
and the favor of the One Who appeared in the Burning Bush.
~Deuteronomy 33:13-16~
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."
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