eHarmony meets The Bachelor
This eHarmony relationship situation I have gotten myself into reminds me of those tacky television reality shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. In each situation the person has been "matched" with a group of women or men with whom they are supposed to be compatible and each week they get to know them and gradually eliminate (when you Don't get a rose) until they are left with the one with whom they feel the 'greatest connection.'
Throughout the whole thing, all the men and women know that the star of the show is spending quality 'romantic time' with the other contenders, dancing, hugging, kissing, and apparently sometimes overnight dates that include sex, only to be spurned in the end. Trash television at its worst! However, knowing the person I am communiating with is pursuing other romantic relationships is not that different. But, I knew that going into this; it is the nature of eHarmony. That is how it works. That is why I can't do it. It is too creepy. Somehow, it is different than when I am dating someone and we both know and agree that we are not exclusive and we know we are both dating other people. I am not sure why. I guess it is "intent".... with eHarmony, the intent is supposed to be to find your special someone. It is a process, so of course you communicate with lots of people. Those eHarmony commercials make it look so nice and easy. It is not.
I guess it is too close. If I were still married, February 10th would be my 23rd wedding anniversary. This is not the way my life was supposed to turn out. I was not supposed to be single and 50 at the same time. I do not miss my marriage. I miss what I wanted it to be. I have to stop romanticizing things. If I can just get through Valentine's Day, I should be fine!
Karen
2-9-09
9 Comments:
Stick around - you are not alone. I am just one of lots of people who were also (unexpectedly and/or suddenly) single at 50, and it's much better than the alternative.
Why should you have any trouble getting through Valentine's Day? It's only a day for selling lots of soppy cards and doubling the price of flowers. It isn't real!
If you find yourself flagging, we can shout encouragement at you. Or we could just shout.
Ask people here if their lives are panning out the way they planned. Mine didn't either. Lucky the person who can say yes.
By lesley153, Feb 09 09 7:45 AM
Lesley is right,I doubt anyone can say their life is the way they planned it,and Valentine's Day is just another day.And I am very good at shouting if you need me to do that.
Joy
By Joybaby, Feb 09 09 8:15 AM
I worked for See's Candies for almost 20 years, and Valentines Day was always the number one money day. Last minute men, in a panic!
I never cared much about VDay. Dead flowers, and sappy cards. No thanks.
By veronikkamarrz, Feb 09 09 5:50 PM
Do what us man haters of Philly do! Have an anti-Valentine's Day. Even when I had a bf, I thought the holiday was stupid. Card companies just created it to make more money.
By kitkat121080, Feb 09 09 11:12 PM
Good point, Katie - I forgot to mention - I may have sent the odd card when I was about 13, but otherwise never acknowledged it, and never wanted to. (I don't hate men - only the ones I've lived with. If I never live with one again, I'll be fine.)
By lesley153, Feb 10 09 8:36 AM
Valentine's Day is not and never has been a big deal to me. Not since grade school anyway and then it was just fun. Don't give a second thought to being 50 and alone, many of us are, and many of us will probably be spending V-Day on FT. My life is nothing like I thought it would be now either and that just reinforces why I would never want to know the future, even if given the chance.
By jordandog, Feb 10 09 5:31 PM
I appreciate all the encouraging words. I guess I am just hormonal.
I am hanging on!
By RainyDayGirl, Feb 11 09 5:40 AM
Ah yes, the hormones, that explains a lot right there! If your fingers get tired hanging on, use your toes.;)
By jordandog, Feb 11 09 8:48 AM
smile < me
By RainyDayGirl, Feb 11 09 7:09 PM