If you are a fan of "The Simpsons" you know that in the opening for every show Bart is at the blackboard, after class, writing something over and over.  It is punishment for something he said or did during the school day.  The neat thing about "The Simpsons" opening is that it is always different.

You have to watch pretty closely to see what he is writing.  A few years ago I found a list of them.  These are some of my favorites, I hope you enjoy them also:

I will not waste chalk

I will not instigate revolution

I did not see Elvis

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" 
 

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not encourage others to fly 
 
 

I will not fake my way through life 

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not do that thing with my tongue 
 
 

I will not cut corners

        (It actually looks like this: 
 
 
 

            I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS

        
    "  "    "   "   "   
 
            "  "   
 "   "   
")

I will not get very far with this attitude 
 
 

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment 

I will not show off

        (This was written in an "Olde English"-style 
 
 
font)

Spitwads are not free speech

I will finish what I star

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge 
 
I will not conduct my own fire drills

This punishment is not boring and pointless 
 
 

A burp is not an answer

Coffee is not for kids

        (Each line becomes less and less legible; the 
 
  
last line is a scrawl)

I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call 
 
Goldfish don't bounce

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups 

No one is interested in my underpants 
 

I do not have diplomatic immunity

I am not authorized to fire substitute 
teachers

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle 

Organ transplants are best left to the 
professionals

I will not re-transmit without the express 

written permission of Major League Baseball

Beans are neither fruit nor musical