Wedding Blues
I just feel like I should be happy and I can't get there. I think I'm missing out on a lot because I'm not excited about the planning and what's going on around me - but I'm just not excited, I'm apathetic. I don't really CARE about what's going on and get mad when choices are made *for* me. But I don't really want to make the choices, so I'll just pick the cheapest thing, because that's how I usually make choices.
I'm still mad about someone inviting his mother (as we'd already agreed to invite his father - who I don't really care too much for in the first place after how little respect he showed for cancelling so many times and then the fact that I learned nothing from the premarital counseling as it was simply repeating the same 5 minutes over and over again).
It's like everything has just piled on top and I'm just at the point where it really doesn't matter anymore. I can just curl into a ball and it will all happen regardless of what I do, so why bother trying? Why should I try to be happy or to make decisions that I want or to whatever anymore? It's not going to be how I envisioned it - either my 'dream wedding' or my 'dream wedding on a budget', so why bother trying? I just keep making myself worse by trying.
Now I can try and let go of trying... But will that get me happy again? I don't know.
At least my cat is healthy again. I keep focusing on that.
3 Comments:
Yey, for your cat, Greystoke =)
as for the blues,.. hmm.. just try to dettach yourself from other things except happiness. Always be happy.
Best wishes. =)
By glamel, Jul 26 06 8:58 PM
You seem more concerned about your cat than you are happy about your wedding.If that seems right to you then I wonder why you want to have a wedding in the first place. Its not for everyone. Maybe a surprise elopement for just the two of you to some romantic place would make more sense to you, and cost about the same. Come back and have a nice supper celebration at a restaurant for the very closest of relatives and friends if you want, but opt out of the wedding hysteria. After being married for almost 30 years myself, at City Hall,(it "took", even if we married without the fanfare. I can say that its only one day out of very many that you will have a a married person.
By grant84711, Jul 28 06 11:49 AM
I have done the whole wedding planning thing once. The truth is there is no stress free way to do it. You will be stressed up until the minute you say "I do". After that you can relax. Best wishes to you and your husband to be.
By boji8, Jul 29 06 1:04 PM