So hello, complete strangers! Here I am, once again, that girl, you know, the one you've never heard of before, pouring out her soul again. *sigh* One can say I've been having problems. Yes, problems that would fit a corny diary entry. Here goes. The names have been changed, just in case someone I know actually runs into this entry...

Dear Diary:

Zach is messing with my head. Zach and I are very close friends, but recently he has changed. I might as well start from the beginning, since I'm starting and nothing can stop me.

I met Zach two years ago. He came from a different school, and was thrown into a class in which he didn't know anyone. Fortunately, my class is quite homey, and treated him right, and soon he and I were best friends. At school, I'm willing to spend my break watching him play football (soccer), as he is able to stop what he's doing to come with me to the bar. He's sweet.

This year we started playing a game. It's called Mess Up The Teachers' Heads. Zach and I pretended to be going out. It was hilarious. He'd run across the room everytime classes started to pull out my chair, and hold my hand during Maths, and put his hand over my mouth to them kiss the back of his own hand... It really messed up their heads, as we had imagined. Of course, throughout the whole game we'd tell each other pretty weird corny stuff (like this entry) such as 'You are my reason to live', or say 'I love you' in several languages. Twas fun!

Recently though... Things have been different...

Zach sometimes stops and looks up at me, and says something like 'If only you knew what I really feel.' And I don't know if he's kidding. I don't know what he expects me to reply. If he means that, and he likes me as more than a friend now, what am I supposed to do? If he does, I want to tell him that I like him as a best friend, whom I keep in my heart, and nothing else. But what if he's kidding and I find myself telling him that?! Will it ruin everything??

I really don't know what to do. The game is beginning to mess with my head as well as the teachers'. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to goof around with something like love.

Because Zach really does mean a lot to me. Once, my wallet with all my documents, my mobile phone and, most importantly, a notebook in which I kept sketches, authographs from authors, and small short stories I had written, were stolen. I was very, very sad, and everybody was doing their best to comfort me, but they couldn't, because the notebook meant a LOT to me. So, after most people had wandered off, Zach grabbed my shoulders, and asked, without any intention to make fun of me: 'Do you want to cry, Alde?'

And I nodded, and he just held me close as I did. He's amazing. I don't want to lose his friendship. I wouldn't trade it for the best romance in the world. But how do I tell him this? How do I know how he feels?...

Heck, that was corny.