I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Mae West and Groucho Marx apparently shared views on marriage.