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#1030875 - Mon Jan 20 2014 09:52 PM Online Friendships
agony Online   content


Registered: Sat Mar 29 2003
Posts: 13437
Loc: Western Canada
Lost a friend today - someone I never met in person but whom I've spent the last five years arguing with, joking with, playing with online died of a quick moving cancer.

People say "Oh, get off that computer, interact with some real people" but the people I know online are as real as the people next door. These relationships are as meaningful, the communities are as supportive, as any I experience in "real" life.

I'm feeling too sad right now to say everything I'm feeling, but just wanted to reach out to this, one of my internet communities, to say to you all how much you mean to me.

#1030878 - Mon Jan 20 2014 11:16 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
dg_dave Online   sleepy
Champion Poster

Registered: Sun Oct 05 2003
Posts: 22212
Loc: near Stafford, Virginia USA  
Sorry for your loss, agony, and yes, some people you meet online are just as close as ones in person.
The way to get things done is NOT to mind who gets the credit for doing them. --Benjamin Jowett
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt
The day we lose our will to fight is the day we lose our freedom.

#1030879 - Mon Jan 20 2014 11:38 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
spanishliz Offline
Champion Poster

Registered: Thu Dec 13 2001
Posts: 20886
Loc: Ontario Canada
So sorry for your loss, agony. Sending virtual hugs.

#1030887 - Tue Jan 21 2014 12:27 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
MiraJane Offline

Registered: Tue Apr 30 2013
Posts: 1211
Loc: New York USA
I'm so sorry, agony.

In the years before the internet, there was thing called pen pals, making friends writing to someone you don't know, many miles away. Marriages sometimes happened because of them. That's how I see knowing someone online, same thing, only faster.

So, yes, online friendships are just as deep and meaningful as the friendships we form with neighbors, at school, or at work.

#1030892 - Tue Jan 21 2014 01:34 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: MiraJane]
JaneMarple Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Jan 30 2004
Posts: 14471
Loc: North West of England
My sympathies, Agony.
On-line friendships mean the world to me. For starters, if they did not, I wouldn't have hung around the forums for almost ten years smile I don't have all that many friends where I live - as in schoolfriends, I have an abundance of relations smile - so the internet opens up a whole new line of communication. My on-line friends are as much as part of my life as my relations xxx
My mind is like a functions only when open.

#1030902 - Tue Jan 21 2014 03:32 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
sue943 Offline

Registered: Sun Dec 19 1999
Posts: 36818
Loc: Jersey
Channel Islands    
I am so sorry agony. Often we spend more time with our online friends than those offline so their losss leaves a huge hole.
Many a child has been spoiled because you can't spank a Grandma!

#1030939 - Tue Jan 21 2014 06:02 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
Santana2002 Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Mon Apr 14 2003
Posts: 8595
Loc: France
*hugs* Sorry you have lost a dear friend, Agony!
Like the others, I agree that we spend a lot of time exchanging with online friends, who are people first and foremost, people who come to mean a lot to us. It's normal to feel sad and lost when they are gone.
It's hard to be perfect when you're human

#1030956 - Tue Jan 21 2014 08:27 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
TabbyTom Offline

Registered: Wed Oct 17 2001
Posts: 8367
Loc: Hastings Sussex England UK    
Very sorry to hear this news, agony. I certainly agree that we can and do feel just as strongly for people we meet online as for those we meet face to face, and I hope the sympathy of your friends on this site will give you some comfort.
Dilige et quod vis fac

#1030958 - Tue Jan 21 2014 09:16 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
Emma058 Offline

Registered: Tue Apr 24 2007
Posts: 324
Loc: Ontario Canada
Sorry for your loss. I agree wholeheartedly with you. The people that I have met online especially my teammates are real. If anyone of them died, I would feel the loss.
I understand your pain.

#1030964 - Tue Jan 21 2014 10:55 AM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
mehaul Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6511
Loc: Florida USA
If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

#1030981 - Tue Jan 21 2014 01:50 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
alexis722 Offline

Registered: Fri Aug 02 2013
Posts: 65
Loc: Connecticut USA
Alas, so true, some of my online friends are more real to me than people I know but don't see much of anymore. (((agony))), bear up, agony, we all end up the same.

#1030987 - Tue Jan 21 2014 02:41 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
satguru Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Thu Feb 17 2000
Posts: 7232
Loc: Kingsbury London UK           
Very sorry Agony, and yes, people are equal wherever we meet them and however we interact. I've been meeting people from the internet after getting to know them here first and none were any different from how they seemed online and had they not lived miles away would certainly have seen most of them regularly otherwise. And people tend to find sites of like minded people so far likelier to find the sort of people they get on with by direction than the more random people we meet otherwise.
Does the brain create or receive consciousness?

#1031004 - Tue Jan 21 2014 04:31 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
veronicavee Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Tue Jan 29 2013
Posts: 122
Loc: Algarve Portugal
Sorry for your loss agony. A friend is a friend no matter where you meet them.x

#1031025 - Tue Jan 21 2014 07:29 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
agony Online   content


Registered: Sat Mar 29 2003
Posts: 13437
Loc: Western Canada
Thanks everybody. Just more proof of how warm and supportive an online community can be!

I think satguru made a good point - in a community like this, we can find like minded people, which is not always so easy to do in "real" life. Especially for those of us who live in small towns or isolated areas, the net really is part of our social lives.

#1031042 - Tue Jan 21 2014 09:51 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
Barbarini Offline

Registered: Sat Sep 04 2010
Posts: 401
Loc: Alberta Canada
Agony, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I completely understand what you're saying. I've met so many people here that mean such a lot to me. Last summer I was fortunate enough meet some of my teammates in the UK. That was the icing on the cake but if I'd never met them in person, I'd be just as fond of them. They're utterly dear to me.

I'm sure you've made some wonderful memories to reflect upon. My thoughts are with you. xx

#1031186 - Wed Jan 22 2014 05:17 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
Christinap Offline

Registered: Sun Jul 27 2008
Posts: 1700
Loc: Essex UK
I'm sorry about the loss of your friend Agony. I believe that friends we make online are as dear and near to us as those we have offline. I have met some of my team-mates, who are just fabulous ladies. I have met friends I have made on other sites when they have visited the UK. They, and others I meet on line who I have yet to meet in real life, indeed may never meet in real life, mean so much to me, and if something happens to them I am as concerned as I would be if they lived next door. Possibly more so as I can't pop round and make them a cup of tea or something. If one of them were to die I would feel their loss deeply and would grieve for them just as much as I would someone I saw in the flesh on a regular basis.

#1031212 - Wed Jan 22 2014 09:00 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
ren33 Offline

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12137
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
I am joining the others in sharing your sorrow, Agony.
I would certainly agree that online friends are as important as any others to me and in some cases more so.There have been times when I have been very glad they were there. The real life meetings have never disappointed, in fact brought much joy. I have much for which to thank Terry and his wonderful website.
Wandering aimlessly through FT since 1999.

#1033517 - Sat Feb 08 2014 04:58 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
MadameGuvnor Offline

Registered: Sun Dec 29 2013
Posts: 18
Sorry to hear this, Agony.

Agreed that online friends are just as valid as offline ones. As MiraJane said, they are the modern equivalent of penfriends.

I have social phobia and don't get out so my online friendships mean a lot to me.

Love, peace, happiness and respect to you, my friend.
You need a crazy mind just to stay alive.

#1033630 - Sun Feb 09 2014 03:17 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
paul4760 Offline

Registered: Sun Mar 10 2013
Posts: 43
Loc: Iowa USA
Very saddened to learn of your loss Agony. I have lost two close, close friends in the last year and when I ponder the significance of what this means to us as human beings I keep coming back to the same two conclusions....first, life is too darn short for fighting and bickering and sweating the small stuff. Secondly, I keep finding that as much as we mourn the person we have lost, we mourn just as much the piece of us that they take with them.
"Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone!" George Carlin

#1033653 - Sun Feb 09 2014 05:07 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
glendathecat Offline

Registered: Wed Apr 02 2008
Posts: 95
Loc: Kent UK
Thinking of you.

#1033689 - Sun Feb 09 2014 08:42 PM Re: Online Friendships [Re: agony]
Bruyere Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Sat Feb 10 2001
Posts: 18699
Loc: California USA
Good heavens, Agony, I only now noticed this today. I am so sorry to hear it and let me say that you are all just as good a friends as anyone I see each day or once a month in person.
I agree with the like minded individuals when you're socially isolated. When I found this site I lived in France and worked a lot and tried to keep my family going and I barely used English much less found people who knew Gilligan's Island episodes as well as music, art, science, or what have you.

This is also the longest 'job' I've ever held due to all my moving around. I'm glad that you brought some comfort and cheer to your friend.
I was born under a wandering star.


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