A list of my all-time favorite novelty songs:

1. "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haa!" by Jerry Samuels, aka Napoleon XIV. Samuels actually was once in a mental institute, so he wrote from experience! This was his sole hit.

2. "Rubber Biscuit" Forget the Blues Brothers remake, the original by the Chips is the real deal!

3."Yakkity Yak" by the Coasters. The new Nickelodeon catoon series uses this Leiber-Stoller classic for its theme song. And it'll reflect kids' feeling towards chores forever!

4. "Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett. No other Halloween song matches this!

5. "Alley Oop" by the Hollywood Argyles. The comic strip caveman is one of my favorites, and the Argyles' tune is a funky tribute to him.

6."Earache My Eye" by Cheech and Chong. "My basketball coach he done kicked me off the team/For wearing high heel sneakers and actin' like a queen!" Even Monty Python's "Lumberjack Song" can't match this piece of insanity!

7. "Mother-In-Law" Ernie-K-Doe really had mother-in-law trouble and his masterwork reflects the feelings of married men the world over!

8. "Men Among Men" by Garrison Keillor. "Ya gotta be tough and ya gotta be a man/ To club the baby Harp Seal!" A loony take on machismo I think Hemingway would hate!

9. "Hey Mr. Custer" by Larry Verne. The Little Big Horn from the POV of a soldier who doesn't want to "wind up dead or bald!"

10. "One More Minute/Dare To Be Stupid" A tie between two of Weird Al Yankovich's funniest efforts. One spoofs 50's doo-wop ballads, the other mocks the group DEVO.

My favorite Yuletide novelty: Elmo and Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" They made a cute animated special from it.

Anyone have favorite novelty songs of their own?

tjoeb};>

"Cows with Guns" , I think it's by Garrison Keillor, though I may be wrong about that. Also, any song by the Arrogant Worms. Funny, funny, funny.

Dana Lyons did Cow's with Guns "bad cow punnnnnn" gets me every time

others ...

*I scored a Hundred in the Back yard at Mum's

*Three Plaster Ducks on the Wall

*Newcastle Song

Sure I will think of others as the day goes on.

Most of mine are unprintable here, but they're by Roy 'Chubby' Brown and the Macc Lads! I do think that some of 'Weird' Al Yankovic's are pretty ingenious also

Ah yes I've heard about the Macc lads - reminds me of a song about Santa and a bike by Kevin Bloody Wilson that would go on my list too.

Almost anything by Ray Stevens- "Along Came Jones", "The Streak", "Guitarzan", "It's Me Again, Margaret", "Alley Oop".

I love "Earache, My Eye"... another Cheech and Chong one is "Basketball Jones".

Ah, the one with the bike. Chubby Brown also recorded that one

The novelty songs I like best are those late '50s-early '60s rock/rockabilly/gritty r&b Halloween and flying saucer/outer space tunes. "Teenage Creature", "Wombie Zombie", "She's My Witch", "Rockin' In the Graveyard", "I Was A Teenage Caveman", "Midnight Monsters Hop", "Flyin' Saucers Rock-N Roll". The more obscure the singer or group the better. Fun stuff indeed!

Commercial novelty music I like include Pickett's "The Monster Mash", "The Curly Shuffle" by Jump N' the Saddle, Cheech & Chong's "Basketball Jones", "Surfin' Bird" by the Trashmen and Jim Stafford's "Spiders and Snakes". Also like- but have heard way too often- "They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha! Ha!" by Napolean XIV and haven't heard it enough-"The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati" by Rose and the Arrangement.

Thanks to Chubby Brown, I had no clue that "Living Next Door to Alice" was not a novelty song.

I enjoy Weird Al and Spike Jones quite a bit. There is a novelty version of the old Nails song "88 Lines About 44 Women" floating around. It's called "88 Lines About 44 Simpsons" and it's hilarious.

Every Christmas, I drive the Indie family nuts by playing "Santa and His Old Lady" by Cheech and Chong. "Earache My Eye" and "Basketball Jones" are really funny as well.

"Guitarzan" is one of the all time greats. Chuck Berry's "My Ding-a-Ling" is also a good one. This is a little obscure but another of my favorites is "First Baptist Bar and Grill" by comedian Tim Wilson.

I have a copy of "First Baptist Bar and Grill." My dad told me about it a few years ago, it is really funny.

Is that commedian part of the Bob and Tom show or did he just do the song for them?

I first heard the song on the Bob and Tom Show. I know it is on one of their albums but I think Tim Wilson is just a guest comedian. Not sure if he has other songs but I think he does.

Snoopy vs the Red Baron-The Royal Guardsman
Convoy-CW McCall
Simon Says-The 1910 Fruitgum Company
Yellow Submarine-The Beatles
Brand New Key-Melanie

'Shaddupa your face' by Joe Dolces Music Theatre

That was such a great song!

My favourite novelty artist is Voltaire, particularly his song "USS Make Sh** Up" ... a must-listen-to for any Trekkie!

And, of course, the indomitable Weird Al Yankovic.

The Streak

If anyone can get hold of 'Pretty fly for a rabbi' by weird Al Jankovich, they can hear one of the funniest songs going, and not many people have heard it. You don't have to be Jewish to appreciate it either

Also the B side of 'Funky moped' by Jasper Carrott, 'Magic Roundabout', a rude version of the puppet show.

Probably the first one I remember, 'Seven drunken nights' by the Dubliners.

Meaningless songs, an album by the Heebie Jeebies copying many contemporary bands of the '70s.

'Eric the half a bee' and 'the Bruce's song' by Monty Python

Anything by Black Lace, especially 'Speaka da lingo' and 'Star Trekking'

All the songs from the film 'South Park, bigger longer and uncut', especially by Terrance and Phillip (which I still believe is not on sale in the UK as a CD, unless someone knows different, as Esther Rantzen used to say).

The Jewish rap, by barenaked ladies

Two old football songs, 'Nice one Cyril' by Tottenham Hotspur and 'Blue is the colour' by Chelsea

One more rare favourite, 'Patel rap', about an Indian corner shop (by an Indian band).

The one that got the biggest laugh from me till the South Park film, the infamous 'Chicken song' by the Spitting image team from TV.
And finally just about everything by the Barron Knights, especially 'The ballad of Frank Spencer', all good English humour and very good impressions.

Well, rather than get hold of 'Pretty fly for a rabbi' yourselves, I now have the lyrics here. If this is a 'naughty' then I apologise in advance...
I have added a translation of the Yiddish words at the bottom.


(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of'em were nudniks and none of'em would last
But ournew guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick
I tell ya, he's to die for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Working' like a dog at the synagogue
He's there all day, he's there all day
Just say 'Vay is mir!' and he'll kick into gear
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
Just grab your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will suffice
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say 'Mazel tov!'
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
What's not to like? What's not to like?
Oh high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
(How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey!
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell
Show up at his home, he says, 'Shalom!'
And 'Have some cake-You want some cake?'
Yeah he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz!
So grab your yarmulka--
The one you got for Chanukah--
Let's put on our yarmulkas and--
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!

In order: Goyim-non-Jews, nudniks-bores, shtick-performance, vay is mir-woe is me, shmeer-cream cheese or similar, meshugga-mad, schlemiel-a drip, mazel tov-good luck, macher-a busy person/ organiser, tuchis-bottom, briss-circumcision, chutzpah-cheek, moyl-someone qualified to circumcise, kvell-enjoy/get pleasure from, yenta-female gossip, shiksa-female non-Jew, oy gevalt-exclamation of frustration, ferklempt-???, plotz-burst

Despite being some of my favourite comedy, I have doubts that “Earache My Eye” qualifies as a song. If it does, then include Sister Mary Elephant, Margaret and Blind Melon Chiltin (which does actually include a song). My faves include:
The Newcastle Song – Bob Hudson
Mother’s Lament – Cream
Snoopy and the Red Baron – Can’t remember who did that one
My Ding-a-Ling – Chuck Berry
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini – For the title only (it’s a rubbish song)
Billy The Mountain – Frank Zappa (devotees would say it’s not a novelty song, but it is)
Australiana – Austen Tayshus – again, not a song but it doesn’t seem to matter.
Jonathon Livingstone Budgerigar – Bob Hudson
I Christened My Dog – Bob Hudson
Living Next Door to Alan’s – Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson

Let's not forget Tom Leherer -- "Be Prepared" "Fight Fiercely Harvard", et al.

Classical (if it matters -- they're still funny):
Anna Russell's "Ring" and "How to write your own Gilbert and Sullivan"
Flanders & Swann: "Ill Wind" (about buying and playing a French horn, set to the rondo of Mozart's 3rd horn concerto...) Anything else by Flanders & Swann, especially live.
Anything by PDQ Bach.
Hoffnung -- One of theirs is a sports commentary on (I think) Beethoven's 9th finale.

I love the incorrigible Kevin's 'Bloody' Wilson's 'Hey Santa Claus'. That has me in stitches every Christmas!

"Convoy" by Battle has forgotten!

Yeah, anything by weird Al is cool!
My favorite is "Yoda" and "Achy Breaky Song".

Is "Afternoon Delight" a considered novelty song? The song is so campy it has to rock.

The first time I heard this one on the radio I nearly crashed I was laughing so much. It is called either The Sick Note, or Paddy and the Bricks. The best version is by Noel Murphy.

The Sick Note

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing, I'm not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
And I write this note to say why Murphy's not at work today

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket, till my dismay I found
That half-way up I met the barrel coming down

Now the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head
I clung on tightly numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks some 14 floors below

Now! when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain
And half way down I met the bloody barrel once again

Now the force of this collision half way down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks scattered all around

I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope

Now, the barrel then being heavier, it started down once more
It landed right across me as.., I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today

written by Pat Cooksey

I heard "waltzing with bears" again last night. Still smiling.

"He goes wa-wa-wa-wa, wa-waltzing with bears,
Raggy bears, shaggy bears, baggy bears too.
There's nothing on earth Uncle Walter won't do,
So he can go waltzing, wa-wa-wa-waltzing,
So he can go waltzing, waltzing with bears!"

I love Tom Leherer!

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
The Masochism Tango
The Elements
We Will All Go Together When We Go
The Vatican Rag

Also love Wierd Al

The Truck Driving Song
(I'm driving a truck, with my high heels on!)
Too many Weird Al songs for me to name... love his Polka mixes.

Anything by the Arrogant Worms, though most of their songs are pretty Canadian specific. Anyone would get this one, though -
Carrot Juice is Murder

Listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, coleslaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream

Chorus:
I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)

I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, I'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, "This is my finest hour,
I'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower"

Chorus

How low as people do we dare to stoop,
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
Let's call a spade a spade
(is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade......)

Can antone direct me to Bob Hudson tracks? I've fond memories of The Newcastle song, The Librarian , Johnathan Livingstone Budgerigar, Girls of Our Town. I can't seem to track them down anywhere. Any lead is a good lead.

Ah Bob Hudson - quite a popular man amongst the discerning Australians here. But alas it seems it's hard to get hold of nowadays but you could try a record shop gearing towards folk music. Newcastle song was Copyrighted in 1973 MCA music.

check out this thread too
http://www.funtrivia.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=301547&an=0&page=1#301547

How about Shaddup You Face from way back in 1981? Quite novel.
Another for a giggle was Farewell Aunty Jack (I'll rip yer bloody arms off)!
And a band I'd never heard of 'til I met my husband, The Smiths, a couple of good ones like Girlfriend in a Coma . . . .