OK.. i'll goo first.. my joke is terrible..

Q: How do computers make jumpers?


A: On the inter - KNIT


Whats your bad joke? =)

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Because they aaaare.

Q: Why are pirates fit?
A: Gym lad!

Why do cannibals not eat clowns?


Because they taste funny!

Why did the moron bring a ladder to the party? Because the drinks were on the house.

What happend to the fast worker when he got old? He became half fast.

What would you get if Lassie married a cantaloupe? A melancholy baby.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his uncle in the jungle?

Q: An engineer walks into a bar. What does he order?
A: A statistical study of the height of people living in that area and the cost of adjusting the bar so that the bar can be raised according to the best cost/benefit analysis.

Q- What do you call eleven lawyers buried up their necks in your lawn?

A- Soccer practice...

What do termites eat for breakfast?
Oakmeal.


What do bees do if they don't want to drive?
Wait at the buzz stop.


Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."

(Bruyere is a sucker for parrot humor).

How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.



What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.

One flea said to the other: "Do you want to walk or shall we take a dog?"

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

Q. What do you call a deer without eyes?

A. No idea.

Q. What do you call a deer without eyes or legs?

A. Still no idea.

Q. What do you call a dog with no legs?

A. Anything, but it still won't come to you.

Keep them clean please.

What`s green and wears oven gloves?


A cooking apple!

Or a deer with no eyes, no legs and has been shot? Still no bloody idea.

Touche, Fenian and Copago.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a pile of leaves?

A. Russell

Q. What do you call a man with no arms in a pool?

A. Bob

How did the intruder get into the house?

Intruder window.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in a hole?

A. Phil

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a rabbit up his behind?

Warren

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of your door?

A. Matt

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen.

Q. What do you call a man with a slice of ham on his head?

A. Ham-head

Q. What do you call a man with 2 slices of ham on his head?

A. Mo-ham-head

Q. What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?

A, One is grey and the other is purple.


Q. What did Jane say when she say the elephants coming over the hill?

A. Here come the elephants.


Q. What did Tarzan say when he say the elephants coming over the hill?

A. Here come the grapes; he was colour blind.

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? -- a poul-tree

What did the tree say to the mountain? -- stop peaking at me

What do sneezes wear on their feet? -- ahh-shoes

Why did the banana leave the cinema-the film didn't appeal to him

Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry? -- because his mother was a wafer so longWhat do you do when you have no rubber bands? -- find a plastic orchestra

how does a man on the moon get his hair cut? -- eclipse it

Q. What do you call aman with no arms and no legs, nailed to your wall?

A. Art


Q. What do you call his arms and legs, nailed to the other wall?

A. Pieces of Art

What do you get if you cross James Dean and George W. Bush?


A rebel without a clue

What is it that you can sleep on, sit on and brush your teeth with?

A bed, a chair and a toothbrush...

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

A. Doug

Did you hear about the little old lady who walked into the real estate office, with a 50 dollar note in her left ear, and a 100 dollar note in her right ear?

Her rent was in arrears.

Aaagh!