And just to add to Mountain Goat's effort..
the dyslexic devil worshipper who renounced dog and sold his soul to Santa !

And the 'sequel' is just as bad/good.

I love a good groaner!

Not a joke, but a true story:
When I renewed my household insurance a few years ago, the broker said that along with the usual exclusions I was not covered for any accidental damage caused by my canine companion.
You've guessed it, not only was I not covered for Act of God, I wasn't covered for Act of Dog.

I bow to the great tezza.

DNA - National Dyslexic Association

What's yellow, lives in a tree, and is very, very dangerous?
A canary with a machine gun.

Why do farts smell? For the benefit of deaf people.

Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with Casper?

A. Bamboo

Stevie Wonder picked up a cheese grater and later said it was the most violent book he had ever read.