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#779517 - Sat Mar 17 2012 07:38 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ASA]
TabbyTom Offline
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Registered: Wed Oct 17 2001
Posts: 8247
Loc: Hastings Sussex England UK    
Anyone whose appetite is whetted by these puns may be able to find a few more if they can get hold of any of the books published by Eyre Methuen in the 1970s, which collected about a hundred of them. The titles were “You Can't Have Your Kayak And Heat It”, “Upon My Word!”, “Take My Word For It” and “Oh, My Word!”. I think there may have been one or two more published later. To appreciate them properly, you need to read (or preferably hear) the ingenious shaggy-dog stories that lead up to them.
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#780250 - Tue Mar 20 2012 04:04 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ASA]
mountaingoat Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri Jun 22 2007
Posts: 388
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
Did you hear about the insomniac agnostic dyslexic. Lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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#780289 - Tue Mar 20 2012 07:42 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: mountaingoat]
MikeMaster99 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sun Oct 23 2011
Posts: 491
Loc: Melbourne VIC Australia      
I agree totally, TabbyTom. The stories leading up to the final punchline were highly entertaining. I know I, and presumably others, was always thinking as I was listening about how this amusing tale would end up with that final punchline. So clever! I'll certainly have to find those books.

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#780292 - Tue Mar 20 2012 07:48 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: MikeMaster99]
ozzz2002 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 17675
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia        
I recall a similar radio show from the late 60s or early 70s and one skit in particular where the contestant/guest had to do a pun on the word 'Eureka'. I have forgotten a lot of the joke, but it involved Archimedes and an E-type Jaguar. The punchline went something like 'Your-E-car, I have found it!'
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The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

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#780295 - Tue Mar 20 2012 08:14 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ozzz2002]
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 11615
Loc: Fanling
  Hong Kong      
Great one, Mountain goat, thats what I call a joke.
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Wandering aimlessly through FT since 1999.

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#780349 - Wed Mar 21 2012 06:49 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ren33]
tezza1551 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Tue Feb 05 2008
Posts: 439
Loc: Western Australia
And just to add to Mountain Goat's effort..
the dyslexic devil worshipper who renounced dog and sold his soul to Santa !
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“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”

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#780353 - Wed Mar 21 2012 07:07 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: tezza1551]
ozzz2002 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 17675
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia        
And the 'sequel' is just as bad/good. smile

I love a good groaner!
_________________________
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

Editor, Hobbies and Sports, and Forum Moderator

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#780489 - Wed Mar 21 2012 02:42 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ozzz2002]
darksplash Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sat Nov 03 2007
Posts: 490
Loc: Tyrone Northern Ireland UK 
Not a joke, but a true story:
When I renewed my household insurance a few years ago, the broker said that along with the usual exclusions I was not covered for any accidental damage caused by my canine companion.
You've guessed it, not only was I not covered for Act of God, I wasn't covered for Act of Dog.
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There are just two types of people in this world, those who hear the music and those who don't.

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#780542 - Wed Mar 21 2012 05:48 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: darksplash]
mountaingoat Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri Jun 22 2007
Posts: 388
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
I bow to the great tezza.

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#781169 - Fri Mar 23 2012 09:51 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: mountaingoat]
ASA Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Tue Oct 15 2002
Posts: 4237
Loc: Adelaide
  SA Australia   
DNA - National Dyslexic Association
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Alan
So much time ...... so little to do

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#781556 - Sun Mar 25 2012 03:15 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ASA]
darksplash Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sat Nov 03 2007
Posts: 490
Loc: Tyrone Northern Ireland UK 
What's yellow, lives in a tree, and is very, very dangerous?
A canary with a machine gun.
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There are just two types of people in this world, those who hear the music and those who don't.

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#781600 - Sun Mar 25 2012 10:32 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: darksplash]
mountaingoat Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri Jun 22 2007
Posts: 388
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
Why do farts smell? For the benefit of deaf people.

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#781643 - Mon Mar 26 2012 08:02 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: sue943]
Sunshine922 Offline
Learning the ropes...

Registered: Mon Mar 26 2012
Posts: 1
Loc: Canada
Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with Casper?

A. Bamboo

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#781977 - Tue Mar 27 2012 05:43 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Sunshine922]
mountaingoat Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri Jun 22 2007
Posts: 388
Loc: Blue Mountains NSW Australia
Stevie Wonder picked up a cheese grater and later said it was the most violent book he had ever read.

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