Rules: Read Me!
Admin: sue943
Legal / Conditions of Use

Page 4 of 14 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 13 14 >
Topic Options
#335421 - Fri Apr 06 2007 08:08 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: romeomikegolf]
lady1 Offline
Champion Poster

Registered: Wed Jun 07 2006
Posts: 20697
Loc: Gauteng South Africa          
Oh that is awful romeomikegolf!
_________________________
"If Life Were Easy Where Would All The Adventure Be?"

Top
#335422 - Sun Apr 08 2007 11:02 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: lady1]
romeomikegolf Offline

Administrator

Registered: Wed Apr 07 2004
Posts: 4875
Loc: Rothwell Northants England UK 
The Irish Government sent 2000 troops to assist in the Gulf War. The Mexicans still aren't sure what to do with them.
_________________________
Reality is an illusion brought about by lack of alcohol

Would the last person to leave the planet please turn off the lights.

Top
#335423 - Sun Apr 08 2007 11:05 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: romeomikegolf]
romeomikegolf Offline

Administrator

Registered: Wed Apr 07 2004
Posts: 4875
Loc: Rothwell Northants England UK 
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They just hold it and the world revolves around them.
_________________________
Reality is an illusion brought about by lack of alcohol

Would the last person to leave the planet please turn off the lights.

Top
#335424 - Tue Apr 17 2007 05:14 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: romeomikegolf]
luddy2 Offline
Participant

Registered: Sat Mar 17 2007
Posts: 34
Loc: Walsall
West Midlands UK
Did you hear about the Irish shoplifter?...They found him dead under Walmart.
_________________________
Oh what tangled webs we weave,when first we practise to deceive... Sir Walter Scott

Top
#335425 - Tue Apr 17 2007 05:43 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
Yaarbiriah Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Mon Jan 08 2007
Posts: 512
Loc: Jerusalem Israel
customer: why do you claim this cabinet is made of cedar wood?
salesman: you scrape off da paint you can see da wood
_________________________
avatar photo caption: The Red Sea by Eilat

Top
#335426 - Wed Apr 18 2007 01:36 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Yaarbiriah]
Bruyere Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Sat Feb 10 2001
Posts: 18300
Loc: California
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.

How do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.

What do you call Robin Hood's mother?
Mother Hood.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his Mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
_________________________
I was born under a wandering star.

Top
#335427 - Wed Apr 18 2007 02:14 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
BigBrain99 Offline
Explorer

Registered: Sun Nov 26 2006
Posts: 88
Loc: Boston Georgia USA       
here is a really bad knock knock joke

knock knock
whos there
boo
boo who
no need to cry its only a joke...
_________________________
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU MAKE LEMONADE

Top
#335428 - Wed Apr 18 2007 02:24 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: BigBrain99]
PARTSDUDE Offline
Prolific

Registered: Thu Dec 23 1999
Posts: 1498
Loc: Allegan Michigan USA 
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see his friend Gregory, peck!

Top
#335429 - Thu Apr 19 2007 05:28 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
thegogga Offline
Explorer

Registered: Fri Feb 02 2007
Posts: 64
Loc: Jo'burg South Africa       
The worst one I've ever heard...

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff!
_________________________
“Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than a whole one.” -E.B White

Top
#335430 - Mon Apr 23 2007 02:53 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: thegogga]
romeomikegolf Offline

Administrator

Registered: Wed Apr 07 2004
Posts: 4875
Loc: Rothwell Northants England UK 
Two men were sat in an Indian restaurant when a car crashed through the window. Both survived, but one now has a dicky tikka and the other is in a korma.
_________________________
Reality is an illusion brought about by lack of alcohol

Would the last person to leave the planet please turn off the lights.

Top
#335431 - Mon Apr 30 2007 01:05 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
skumma Offline
Participant

Registered: Fri Apr 20 2007
Posts: 16
Loc: France
Customer in restaurant-"waiter, have you got frogs' legs?"


Waiter - "No sir, it's just the way I walk!"

Top
#335432 - Sat May 05 2007 09:59 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: skumma]
BigBrain99 Offline
Explorer

Registered: Sun Nov 26 2006
Posts: 88
Loc: Boston Georgia USA       
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because the chicken was sick!
_________________________
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU MAKE LEMONADE

Top
#335433 - Mon May 07 2007 05:51 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
fontenilles Offline
Explorer

Registered: Mon May 07 2007
Posts: 51
Loc: Fontenilles France
Bob Dylan goes into a bar and asks for a coffee. He shouts over to the waiter " hey this coffee tastes like mud"
Waiter replies " so it should, it was ground this morning.

Top
#335434 - Mon May 07 2007 06:12 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: fontenilles]
Bruyere Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Sat Feb 10 2001
Posts: 18300
Loc: California
Bilingual joke here:

THere was once a famous French chef giving a demonstration of making one of the classic French recipes, an omelette.
With great flair, he cracked one egg, beat it, cooked it and one of the young chefs timidly raised his hand to pose the question burning his mind. The English chef said, 'But Maitre, why have you only used one egg?'

'C'est simple, one egg's enough.'
_________________________
I was born under a wandering star.

Top
#335435 - Mon May 07 2007 09:40 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Bruyere]
Dragonkin Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Thu Feb 09 2006
Posts: 376
Loc: Fairfield
California USA
What goes black and white and black and white and black and white?

A nun falling down some stairs.
_________________________
You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets. - Lethbridge-Stewart, (Doctor Who TV series)

Top
#335436 - Tue May 08 2007 07:50 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
leelee63 Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Mon May 07 2007
Posts: 113
Loc: Cape Cod Massachusetts USA   
what do you call two guys with no arms and no legs on the window sill?

curt and rod

Top
#335437 - Wed May 16 2007 12:49 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: leelee63]
MollyGrue Offline
Prolific

Registered: Wed Mar 21 2001
Posts: 1758
Loc: Michigan USA
Where do crazy people walk?
Down the psycho path.

How do you catch a squirrel?
You sit in a tree and act like a nut.

How do you make Holy Water?
You boil the hell out of it.

Two nuns were driving through the woods when a demon jumps onto the hood of their car, the two nuns immediately start praying, but the demon stays. Then one nun says to the other "Sister Mary, show him your cross." So sister Mary leans out the window and yells, get off the car!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

ONe boy says to the other "I have a dog with no legs, I call him Cigarette."
The other boy says "Why's that?"
"Because every night I take him out for a drag."

Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was assaulted.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?"

What do you call two men with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Swimming trunks.
_________________________
May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.

Top
#335438 - Wed May 16 2007 01:00 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Eraserhead]
callie_ross Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Fri May 11 2007
Posts: 128
Loc: Hawaii USA
Here's an old joke:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
_________________________
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" Kurt Cobain

Top
#335439 - Thu May 17 2007 05:34 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: callie_ross]
pu2-ke-qi-ri Offline
Explorer

Registered: Wed Aug 10 2005
Posts: 93
Loc: Austin Texas USA
Q: How long does it take for an astronaut to drive from Houston to Florida?

A: It depends.

Top
#335440 - Thu May 17 2007 05:41 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: pu2-ke-qi-ri]
garyfire Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sun Apr 29 2007
Posts: 264
Loc: Antgonish Nova Scotia Canada 
Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs.

What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument?
A tuba toothpaste.

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

and the best one *drum roll*

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?
_________________________
"A ray of light into a room that's remained dark for a thousand years dissolves a thousand years of darkness"

Top
#335441 - Thu May 17 2007 05:45 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: garyfire]
garyfire Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Sun Apr 29 2007
Posts: 264
Loc: Antgonish Nova Scotia Canada 
also, for really bad comics, go here. I laugh because I shouldn't. It's great.

http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/ark.shtml
_________________________
"A ray of light into a room that's remained dark for a thousand years dissolves a thousand years of darkness"

Top
#335442 - Fri May 18 2007 11:38 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: garyfire]
romeomikegolf Offline

Administrator

Registered: Wed Apr 07 2004
Posts: 4875
Loc: Rothwell Northants England UK 
What do you call a man with a plank on his head?
Edwood.

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?
Edwood Woodwood.
_________________________
Reality is an illusion brought about by lack of alcohol

Would the last person to leave the planet please turn off the lights.

Top
#335443 - Fri May 18 2007 12:07 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: romeomikegolf]
sladeninj Offline
Participant

Registered: Fri May 18 2007
Posts: 7
Loc: Illinois USA
What is black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra

What is black and white and red all over?

A baby skunk with diaper rash

What is black and white and red all over?

A hot fudge sundae covered in catsup

What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper (white paper and black print and "read" all over)

Top
#335444 - Fri May 18 2007 07:53 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: sladeninj]
pu2-ke-qi-ri Offline
Explorer

Registered: Wed Aug 10 2005
Posts: 93
Loc: Austin Texas USA
What do you call a guy who loves Tolstoy?

Warren Piece

Top
#335445 - Sun May 20 2007 01:43 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: pu2-ke-qi-ri]
romeomikegolf Offline

Administrator

Registered: Wed Apr 07 2004
Posts: 4875
Loc: Rothwell Northants England UK 
Knock Knock
Who's There
Sam 'n Janet
Sam 'n Janet who?


Sam 'n Janet evening, you may see a stranger.
_________________________
Reality is an illusion brought about by lack of alcohol

Would the last person to leave the planet please turn off the lights.

Top
Page 4 of 14 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 13 14 >

Moderator:  ozzz2002, Sypher