Rules
Terms of Use

Page 8 of 14 < 1 2 ... 6 7 8 9 10 ... 13 14 >
Topic Options
#335521 - Sun Feb 24 2008 10:41 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: MadNotAngry]
NoelsFan Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Tue Feb 19 2008
Posts: 425
Loc: Sussex UK
What do you call a dear with no eyes?


No eye deer!!!




What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?


Still no eye dear!!

Top
#335522 - Wed Feb 27 2008 09:29 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: NoelsFan]
KrivoyRog Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sun Jul 30 2006
Posts: 2121
Loc: Middlesbrough
England UK  
A man says to his Doctor, "Doctor, I really believe that I am Tom Jones. Is this a common complaint?"

Doctor replies, "Well, it's not unusual"
_________________________
I once ran a dating agency for chickens but found it difficult to make hens meet.

Top
#335523 - Thu Mar 20 2008 05:44 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: KrivoyRog]
bjb Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Thu Feb 22 2001
Posts: 111
Loc: Montreal, Canada
What time did the chinese man go to the dentist? Tooth-Hurty ( 2:30)
_________________________
I wish the real world would just stop hasselin' me

Top
#335524 - Thu Mar 20 2008 05:46 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! *DELETED* [Re: bjb]
bjb Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Thu Feb 22 2001
Posts: 111
Loc: Montreal, Canada
Post deleted by ozzz2002
_________________________
I wish the real world would just stop hasselin' me

Top
#335525 - Thu Mar 20 2008 05:50 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: bjb]
bjb Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Thu Feb 22 2001
Posts: 111
Loc: Montreal, Canada
What do you call a fox with one leg? Terry
_________________________
I wish the real world would just stop hasselin' me

Top
#335526 - Thu Mar 20 2008 08:25 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: bjb]
The_lioness33 Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Feb 25 2006
Posts: 2869
Loc: Adelaide South Australia    
Heap Big Indian chief had his three squaws sleeping on animal hides in his tepee. The first squaw slept on a cow hide, the second squaw slept on a horse hide, and the third squaw slept on a hippopotamus hide. Bye and bye, they all became pregnant and presented the chief with his heirs. The squaw who slept on the cow hide had a son, the squaw who slept on the horse hide had a son, but the squaw who slept on the hippopotamus hide had twin sons...

MORAL: The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

Top
#335527 - Mon Mar 24 2008 02:07 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: The_lioness33]
cee71 Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sun Mar 23 2008
Posts: 2461
Loc: Dumfriesshire Scotland UK
how many ears had star trek's mr spock?

3..a left ear..a right ear and a final frontier

Top
#335528 - Wed Apr 02 2008 05:54 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: IbizaChick1]
shorty94 Offline
Participant

Registered: Wed Apr 02 2008
Posts: 9
Loc: Illinois USA
did you hear about the blonde that shot and arrow into the air?

she missed
_________________________
~ meth~ Not even once.

Top
#335529 - Thu Apr 03 2008 01:44 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: shorty94]
The_lioness33 Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Feb 25 2006
Posts: 2869
Loc: Adelaide South Australia    
Quote:

did you hear about the blonde that shot and arrow into the air?

she missed





I do archery and I'm blonde, but I can laugh at that...

Top
#335530 - Thu Apr 03 2008 01:45 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: The_lioness33]
shorty94 Offline
Participant

Registered: Wed Apr 02 2008
Posts: 9
Loc: Illinois USA
YEA IM A BLONDE AND I DO ARCHERY SOMETIMES TO AND IM ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD!!
_________________________
~ meth~ Not even once.

Top
#335531 - Sat Apr 26 2008 07:04 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: IbizaChick1]
Starlord Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Sat Apr 26 2008
Posts: 762
Loc: Cornwall UK
What is DNA?

The National Dyslexia Association.

Top
#335532 - Sun Apr 27 2008 12:49 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Starlord]
Starlord Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Sat Apr 26 2008
Posts: 762
Loc: Cornwall UK
Did you hear about the man who drowned in his muesli?

A strong currant dragged him in.

Top
#335533 - Sun Apr 27 2008 09:29 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Starlord]
Starlord Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Sat Apr 26 2008
Posts: 762
Loc: Cornwall UK
What do you call a septic cat?

Puss.

Top
#335534 - Wed May 28 2008 06:25 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Starlord]
trojan11 Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Nov 01 2006
Posts: 5815
Loc: Santa Ana
  El Salvador
I'm so old that whenever I eat out, they ask me for the money upfront.
_________________________
Life is just a bowl of cherries, and that makes for an awful lot of stones.

Top
#335535 - Wed May 28 2008 06:59 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Flapflap5]
Trigger7 Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Sat Nov 17 2007
Posts: 109
Loc: Morden Manitoba Canada       
We shouldn't pick on lawyers, but how can we resist, after all, they charge us whatever they like, even if they lose our case, sooo...
What do you have if you see a Lawyer with his head sticking out of the sand?
Not Enough Sand !!

Top
#335536 - Fri Jun 06 2008 09:37 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Trigger7]
MadMags Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Sat May 03 2008
Posts: 17092
Loc: Orosi Costa Rica              
Another lawyer joke...

How do you know if it's cold outside?

The lawyers have their hands in their own pockets
_________________________
A smile is a curved line that sets things straight. ~ Anon.

Top
#335537 - Thu Jun 19 2008 06:47 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: MadMags]
vene Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Thu Apr 17 2008
Posts: 191
Loc: Amersfoort
The Netherlands
Finally a chance to share this one - happy that it works in Dutch and English:

Q: It's underneath a statue and shoots at you.

A: Plinth Eastwood!

Top
#335538 - Sun Aug 10 2008 10:30 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: vene]
Woody156 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri May 14 2004
Posts: 437
Loc: Barrie
Ontario Canada
A Native American goes to the Medicine Man and says, "Doc, I have a recurring dream. One night I dreamt I was a wigwam. The next night I dreamt I was a teepee. What's wrong with me?"

"That's easy. You're two tents!"
_________________________
What this world really needs is a Tim Horton's store at Walt Disney World.

Top
#335539 - Sun Aug 10 2008 10:31 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Woody156]
Woody156 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Fri May 14 2004
Posts: 437
Loc: Barrie
Ontario Canada
Why didn't the rattlesnake bite the lawyer?

Professional courtesy!
_________________________
What this world really needs is a Tim Horton's store at Walt Disney World.

Top
#335540 - Sun Aug 10 2008 11:44 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: Woody156]
deepakmr Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Sun Mar 16 2008
Posts: 9011
Loc: Bangalore India
What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more!

Top
#335541 - Mon Aug 11 2008 12:22 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: deepakmr]
The_lioness33 Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Feb 25 2006
Posts: 2869
Loc: Adelaide South Australia    
So, two parrots were sitting on a perch, and one says to the other, 'Does something smell fishy to you?'

Top
#335542 - Mon Aug 11 2008 06:37 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: The_lioness33]
triviapaul Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Thu May 22 2008
Posts: 998
Loc: Delft<br>The Netherlands
Some jokes are so bad they should be outlawed. I found this piece of humoristic atrocity in my e-mail:

The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable,
when all of a sudden.......

'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.'

'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.'

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there,
in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon,
double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Eees a bacon tree.'

'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget.'

'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no
meerage, ees a bacon tree'.

And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres,
Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens
up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded
but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying
breath.

'Pepe... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree.'

'Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?

'Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...




Ees


Ees



Ees


Ees


Ees


Ees

Ees

Eees a Ham Bush.
_________________________
They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

Top
#335543 - Mon Aug 11 2008 11:36 PM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: triviapaul]
ozzz2002 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Mon Dec 03 2001
Posts: 18443
Loc: Sydney NSW Australia        
I did not see THAT one coming!
_________________________
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

Editor, Hobbies and Sports, and Forum Moderator

Top
#335544 - Tue Aug 12 2008 03:48 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: ozzz2002]
The_lioness33 Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Feb 25 2006
Posts: 2869
Loc: Adelaide South Australia    
*massive groan*

Top
#335545 - Fri Aug 15 2008 10:27 AM Re: Bad Jokes? Post Here! [Re: The_lioness33]
JaneMarple Offline
Star Poster

Registered: Fri Jan 30 2004
Posts: 14467
Loc: North West of England
I love it
_________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

Top
Page 8 of 14 < 1 2 ... 6 7 8 9 10 ... 13 14 >

Moderator:  ozzz2002, Sypher