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#640461 - Wed Jul 13 2011 09:39 AM Re: Comical Answering Machine Messages
paper_aero Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Fri Jan 06 2006
Posts: 5591
Loc: Crawley Sussex England       
And the one in use last week (but now out of date): I am not here but if you leave a message on my answerphone I will read it in the News of the World.
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"News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress, everything else is advertising"

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#640942 - Thu Jul 14 2011 04:46 PM Re: Comical Answering Machine Messages
flopsymopsy Offline

Administrator

Registered: Sat May 17 2008
Posts: 4448
Loc: Northampton England UK
There's an updated version of that one: "I'm not here right now but if you leave a message Rebekah will get back to me." laugh
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#640945 - Thu Jul 14 2011 05:07 PM Re: Comical Answering Machine Messages
MotherGoose Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Mon Apr 22 2002
Posts: 4817
Loc: Western Australia
"I am not here but if you leave a message on my answerphone I will read it in the News of the World."

Very funny! (lol)
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Don't say "I can't" ... say " I haven't learned how, yet." (Reg Bolton)

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#641081 - Fri Jul 15 2011 02:05 AM Re: Comical Answering Machine Messages
mehaul Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
For Mary select mailbox 1; for Jack select mailbox 2; for Jerry select mailbox 3; for Arthur select mailbox 4; for Mike D select mailbox 5; for Mikey K select mailbox 6; for anyone else not me select mailbox 7; for me selecbeep
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If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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#643808 - Fri Jul 29 2011 12:01 AM Re: Comical Answering Machine Messages
mayneeyak Offline
Forum Adept

Registered: Wed Oct 27 2010
Posts: 145
Loc: Northern Ontario Canada  
I had an answering machine message that went like this.

My machine comes on..

I have said ~ "Hello"

The person usually responds "Hi or Hello", then starts talking.

I've waited a few seconds and said, "Could you please speak up a little, I can't hear you."

Most people raised their voices and started repeating their message.

I waited a few more seconds and said, "Sorry about this, but could you PLEASE talk louder. I just can't hear you."

The caller, a little frustrated starts to repeat their message again talking much louder than previously.

Again I have recorded, "Hey, I still can't quite hear you. You have to speak LOUDER!"

By now, the caller is upset and would repeat their message again, almost at a yelling level now. If they haven't hung up due to frustration, they then get the message in a jovial tone, "OK OK! You don't have to yell. It's only an answering machine anyway. Just leave your name and number and I'll get back to you. Thanks for calling."

It kept telemarketers from bugging me but nearly cost me a few good friends and teed off a lot of others, but I thought it was funny and clever.
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#643999 - Sat Jul 30 2011 04:36 PM Re: Comical Answering Machine Messages
mehaul Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
I seem to have lost my sense of humor. If you have found it and are calling to get it back to its proper owner, please leave a message after the end of your call. Thank you.
_________________________
If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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