Lost puffin found at Winchester hospital sex clinic.
Any comment?
Or any other headlines that made you wonder...?

Hospitals can be like a rabbit warren to those that don't know them. Which clinic was the penguin really looking for? Puffin? Maybe he needed the respiratory clinic

One I recall from ages ago:
There was a picture of Edward Heath paddling in the sea at Hastings or somewhere.He is facing away from the camera and looking downwards.
Underneath is the heading from another item "Mine Explodes"!!

I still love the old classic from The Times:

"Fog in Channel, Europe isolated"

That is a great headline. How delightfully Anglocentric

I remember this seeing this one, forget where though.

"Iraqi head seeks arms"

"Red tape holds up new bridge"

(well, it might be colourful, but I'm not driving on it)

This was a headline only because of the person who said it.. a US Senator. I heartily agree with her though!

"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25"

ha ha ha
really funny one
thanks for share

Cash beats a check. Was the headline when Pat Cash beat a check player in a tennis match.

Here are some:

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"

"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

Seems obvious, but wait…..when they looked into it further it all became much clearer:

"Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told"

"Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

Makes you feel safe being protected by such insightful people, doesn’t it? It’s OK, if the cops don’t get you, the Courts will:

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

"F-word wasn't funny"

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one was caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and someone called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

In a Outdoor and Camping shop window one Autumn Sales. ‘Now is the discount of our Winter tents’.

Oh Surdoux, I LOVE that! So clever!

I work seasonal at a garden centre. One of the adverts says, "It's spring, we are so happy we are wetting our plants".

Moving along with the shop sign theme, the following is a true story.

I once worked in a railway yard that was the size of a small European country. It had railway tracks going to many places within the yard, going to open areas that were once used to work on train carriages.

In one of the mostly deserted areas in the middle of the yards was a small workshop I had to paint. One lunch hour, I wandered off to look around and that's where I found the sign that made me laugh more than any other.

I kid you not, there in a place crawling with late 1970's macho tradesmen and labourers, surrounded by the tussocks of the hardiest grass like shrubs, that now covered most of the tracks, was this old passenger carriage, lovingly restored and complete with dainty white and pastel blue lace curtains, in the obviously well maintained windows, with a sign that read "Clyde Railway Workshops Musical Society".

But that's not the sign I'm talking about.

I was intrigued. Who or what might I find inside? I was and always have been a music lover.

I wandered over and went to open the door, when I saw the sign, inside the glass upper half of the door, bordered by filigree curtains was the sign. It said (scroll down)




















"Gone Chopin
Bach in a minuet"



I acknowledge that this is probably not where the sign originated and the person who put it there probably saw or heard about one somewhere else.

I later discovered that there was, in fact, a "Clyde Railway Workshops Musical Society" and they met at the said carriage in the afternoon on the fourth Friday of every month and the sign was hung at all other times.

I also discovered that the gentleman who was the leader of the society at the time was a rather unusual man who had a passion for Blue Oyster Cult, but that's another story (I'll bet those meetings were interesting!).

Great story!
Except for the remoteness and size of the area, I don't know why that reminds of a trip I took across Dartmoor, which is , for England , a vast uninhabited area. Right in the middle of the huge open part was a post and some wag had stuck a 'Neighbourhood Watch' sticker.

Which reminds me of a sign (I think I posted it years ago in the photography threads) that I saw in a cemetery in Gulfport, Mississippi. Right smack in the middle of headstones and mausoleums was the sign "Caution, Children at Play".

If you're Welsh, look away now, nothing to see here, move swiftly on; if you're not Welsh...

As you drive across the Severn Bridge from England in a westerly direction, there's a large sign which says "Welcome to Wales - Croeso i Gymru". Back in the days when Welsh idiots freedom fighters were burning cottages owned by the English, without worrying too much if there were any English inside at the time, a graffiti artist, presumably Welsh, painted two words in large letters across the sign.

"FREE WALES" it said.

And underneath that someone, presumably English, had written:

"With every packet of Persil"

I also liked:

Note at the bottom of the menu of a German restaurant:
"After the main course we suggest that you sample the tart of the house"

And in a Tokyo bar:
"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

Also, in a loan company window:
"Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt."

And not forgetting, At the dry cleaners:
"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."

They have those bars in Sydney too. Most are in Oxford Street.

A billboard outside a chemist (pharmacist) in Melbourne many years ago read "Ear Piercing Pregnancy Tests". The first two words were on one line, the latter two were below, but read in one go...!

A headline in one of my local papers said "Police appeal to parents"' which obviously reassured the local police chief somewhat.

Or another genuine one "Burglar caught by police sleeping in shop window". Cops really should not sleep in shop windows.

When I worked in newspapers, late one Wednesday night, just before deadline, I managed to catch one before it appeared. Some sleepy sub had written above a court report "Man fined for carless driving".

Headline seen at local gardening centre:


Spring is here! We're so excited, we've wet our plants!

Seen at a local toy shop:

All our balloons are sold a pre-inflation prices.

Reported in a Sydney paper many years ago when Bob Hawke was our Prime Minister at at trade negotiation in Japan. He said "We are not going to be silly buggers about this." The translator translated it as "We are not going to be humorous homosexuals about this."

In front of a church:

Come here, we will scare the hell out of you.

And another:

Salvation guaranteed, or sins cheerfully refunded.

And some in China:

The elevator

The Chinese translated properly:
In case of fire, please do not used the elevator

Actual warning:
If fired, please do not use the elevator

The Floor

Translated properly:
Be careful, the floor is slippery

Actual warning:
Caution, slip (h'm, if I have to slip to be cautious, then I won't be cautious.)

When the underdogs Caledonian Thistle beat the massive odds on favourites Celtic in a national cup final due to their celebrations the newspaper headlines read ~

"Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious."

Lol, that rhymes perfectly with supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

A friend swears that when in Ireland he saw a sign that said "Do not remove this sign." Nothing else was on it.