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#809054 - Mon Jul 16 2012 04:26 AM Silver Screen Jokes
mehaul Offline
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Post jokes heard told on the big screen. This one is from 1939 and the film was hyped as "Garbo Laughs!"

Bloke walks into a restaurant, sits down and asks for a cup of coffee with no cream. Five minutes later the waiter comes back and says, "Sorry, sir. We're out of cream. Do you mind if it's served without milk instead?"

Thanks to Count Leon d'Algout (Melvyn Douglas), telling the joke to Nina Ivanovna "Ninotchka" Yakushova (Greta Garbo), in "Ninotchka".


Edited by mehaul (Mon Jul 16 2012 04:28 AM)
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#822059 - Mon Sep 10 2012 09:38 AM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: mehaul]
tjoebigham Offline
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In the Three Stooges classic "Movie Maniacs" the boys have just been ejected off a studio lot. When Moe expresses despair, Larry says "a bad beginning is a good ending". Then Curly chimes in with this classic pun:

"Soitenly! If at foist ya don't succeed, keep on suckin' til ya DO suck seed!"

Moe smacks Curly, as usual. (the joke, BTW, isn't a dirty one; it refers to the orange Curly's munching on)

The joke also appears in Edward Anderson's twice-filmed crime novel "Thieves Like Us".

tjoeb};>


Edited by tjoebigham (Mon Sep 10 2012 09:39 AM)

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#822375 - Tue Sep 11 2012 01:35 PM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: tjoebigham]
darksplash Offline
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For many years, the series of "Carry On" films had British cinema-goers rolling with laughter on the aisle floors.
One of my favorite scenes was from the 24th, "Carry On Abroad". Set on a Mediterranean island, it had groups of holidaymakers introducing themselves to each other.
The dialogue featured characters played by Sid James and June Whitfield:

Sid James: Would you like a drink?"
June Whitfield: No thanks, I tried it once and I didn't like it.
Sid James: Would you like a cigarette?
June Whitfield: No thanks, I tried it once and I didn't like it. My daughter smokes, though.
Sid James: I bet she's an only child.
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#825368 - Thu Sep 20 2012 06:48 PM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: darksplash]
mehaul Offline
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Loc: Florida USA
I just watched the movie ("Carry On Abroad") and found that there are many more hilarious moments in it. I'll cut toward the end when James (as Vic Flange) and Joan Sims (as Cora Flange) are acting under the influence of the special Elsbels' love potion. The inuendo dialog is very rapid and I can't believe it got by the censors of the early seventies. As James is pulling back the covers of the bed he says "It's going to be a tight squeeze" and then on the jump in, "Standing room only!"


Edited by mehaul (Thu Sep 20 2012 09:05 PM)
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#825536 - Fri Sep 21 2012 10:29 AM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: mehaul]
flopsymopsy Offline
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Originally Posted By: mehaul
The inuendo dialog is very rapid and I can't believe it got by the censors of the early seventies.


It's a British film. Different rules. Our scripts did not have to be submitted to American censors.
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#825658 - Fri Sep 21 2012 08:18 PM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: flopsymopsy]
Mariamir Offline
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Registered: Wed Feb 29 2012
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Originally Posted By: flopsymopsy
It's a British film. Different rules. Our scripts did not have to be submitted to American censors.


Lol, of course, no one heard the irritated at Americanicity tone in that. wink

But I'd better not say anything unless I get you started on that. tongue
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#825722 - Sat Sep 22 2012 05:37 AM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: Mariamir]
flopsymopsy Offline
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Ssh! You'll get me into trouble. wink
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#825791 - Sat Sep 22 2012 10:25 AM Re: Silver Screen Jokes [Re: flopsymopsy]
mehaul Offline
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Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 5257
Loc: Florida USA
This is a jead for throkes.

edit: Spooner forgive me.


Edited by mehaul (Sat Sep 22 2012 10:26 AM)
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