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#816734 - Mon Aug 20 2012 11:45 PM Groan.............
ren33 Offline
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Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12414
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
Police in Norfolk have confirmed they arrested a man who fell into a
combine harvester while trying to steal it. He is expected to be bailed
tomorrow....
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#816774 - Tue Aug 21 2012 04:49 AM Re: Groan.............
Santana2002 Offline
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Registered: Mon Apr 14 2003
Posts: 8728
Loc: France
*groan*
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#816777 - Tue Aug 21 2012 05:01 AM Re: Groan.............
mehaul Offline
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Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
Flails self in contrition.
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#817899 - Fri Aug 24 2012 02:09 AM Re: Groan.............
SOTHC Offline


Registered: Tue Jun 10 2003
Posts: 16530
Loc: Aylesford Kent England UK    
The police had said that he had got a long criminal record and that was the last straw
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#817908 - Fri Aug 24 2012 03:57 AM Re: Groan.............
tezza1551 Offline
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Registered: Tue Feb 05 2008
Posts: 439
Loc: Western Australia
He was sentenced to a threshing !!
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#817925 - Fri Aug 24 2012 04:23 AM Re: Groan.............
mehaul Offline
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Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
'Twas the crop circle in the shape of a crook that gave him away.
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If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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#818274 - Sat Aug 25 2012 03:22 AM Re: Groan.............
ASA Offline
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Registered: Tue Oct 15 2002
Posts: 4326
Loc: Adelaide South Australia
Was it because he got a Dear John letter, and he misread it and went out to get a John Deere.
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#818283 - Sat Aug 25 2012 05:02 AM Re: Groan.............
Mariamir Offline
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Registered: Wed Feb 29 2012
Posts: 4258
Loc: Ontario Canada
When the police caught him, he said, "Hey."
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#818295 - Sat Aug 25 2012 06:57 AM Re: Groan.............
mehaul Offline
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Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
When your crop of combines is ripe, people will stop at nothing to get them harvested!
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If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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#820459 - Sun Sep 02 2012 05:37 AM Re: Groan.............
Jakeroo Offline
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Registered: Sat Aug 30 2008
Posts: 2064
Loc: Alberta Canada
Never mind the culprit. We should feel pity for the grain farmer whose main tool for livelihood was almost taken away. After all, he was probably barley surviving from wheat to wheat...
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#820475 - Sun Sep 02 2012 07:51 AM Re: Groan.............
deputygary Offline
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Registered: Thu May 24 2007
Posts: 283
Loc: South Dakota USA
The whole affair gave him a my grain headache.
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#820477 - Sun Sep 02 2012 07:56 AM Re: Groan.............
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12414
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
These are dreadful! LOL!
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#820480 - Sun Sep 02 2012 09:04 AM Re: Groan.............
flopsymopsy Online   content

Administrator

Registered: Sat May 17 2008
Posts: 4461
Loc: Northampton England UK
Then he lost his razor and woke up covered in stubble.
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#820486 - Sun Sep 02 2012 09:37 AM Re: Groan.............
Trigger7 Offline
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Registered: Sat Nov 17 2007
Posts: 109
Loc: Morden Manitoba Canada       
...then he looked around and realized that a Camel was laying close by, and it could not move a muscle...due to the straw...

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#820499 - Sun Sep 02 2012 10:36 AM Re: Groan.............
Jakeroo Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Aug 30 2008
Posts: 2064
Loc: Alberta Canada
Hmm, speaking of a camel's back...

Once upon a time there was a very handsome male bactrian camel with two huge camel humps. He fell in love and married a beautiful female dromedary who had one perfect camel hump. As time progressed, they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby camel who had no humps at all.

They contemplated long and hard on what to call their beautiful little boy, but in the end, there could only be one choice ... 'Humphrey'!
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Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense
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#820524 - Sun Sep 02 2012 12:13 PM Re: Groan.............
mehaul Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
Poor kid had to grow up down in the humps.

Really, sounds like the female knew a llama before she met the bactrian and the offspring's a cama, so they should have called him Ande.
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If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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#820547 - Sun Sep 02 2012 05:06 PM Re: Groan.............
tezza1551 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: Tue Feb 05 2008
Posts: 439
Loc: Western Australia
Sorry, mehaul... going to have to explain that one to this Aussie !
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“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”

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#820555 - Sun Sep 02 2012 08:36 PM Re: Groan.............
Jakeroo Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Aug 30 2008
Posts: 2064
Loc: Alberta Canada
I think he means that llamas (who don't have humps, but are nonetheless in the same family as camels) come from places like Peru and the Andes mountains. Quite clever really, but casts some doubt upon Ms. Dromedary's character LOL!
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Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense
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#820560 - Sun Sep 02 2012 09:15 PM Re: Groan.............
beergirllaura Offline
Participant

Registered: Fri Aug 21 2009
Posts: 19
Loc: Bartlett Illinois USA       
Cast doubt on Ms. Dromedary?
Dare he do so?

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#820568 - Sun Sep 02 2012 11:17 PM Re: Groan.............
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12414
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
http://www.australiazoo.com.au/our-anima...ry_camel#Esther
Now, in view of all the interest, maybe we should adopt Esther


Edited by ren33 (Sun Sep 02 2012 11:19 PM)
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#820575 - Mon Sep 03 2012 02:44 AM Re: Groan.............
mehaul Offline
Forum Champion

Registered: Wed Feb 03 2010
Posts: 6516
Loc: Florida USA
A cama is the result of a crossbreeding of a llama and a camel, just as a tigon is the result of the crossbreeding of a tiger and a lion. Although I could find no discerning term to distinguish the sire in this mating as there is a difference between tigon (tiger sire) and liger (lion sire).
edit: should I have used llamedary?


Edited by mehaul (Mon Sep 03 2012 08:50 AM)
_________________________
If you aren't seeing Heaven while you dream, you're doing something wrong.
Dreams allow escape from the passage of Time.

The ultimate activity is the Dream.

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#821374 - Fri Sep 07 2012 07:30 AM Re: Groan.............
Jakeroo Offline
Multiloquent

Registered: Sat Aug 30 2008
Posts: 2064
Loc: Alberta Canada
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First
is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.

As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is
boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by
feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is
attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.

He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both..
What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything...

He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.

As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.

By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees"
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Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense
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#821414 - Fri Sep 07 2012 01:56 PM Re: Groan.............
ren33 Offline
Moderator

Registered: Thu Sep 30 1999
Posts: 12414
Loc: Kowloon Tong  Hong Kong      
Arghhh!! I did not see that coming! That is dreadful!
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#821473 - Fri Sep 07 2012 05:28 PM Re: Groan.............
MikeMaster99 Offline
Mainstay

Registered: Sun Oct 23 2011
Posts: 512
Loc: Melbourne VIC Australia      
Dreadful and wonderful too. Loved it, Jakeroo, and I didn't see that ending coming either.

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