I was reading bullyonline today, because there's a page devoted to stress relievers. I found many jokes I'd like to share, but I'll just start by posting one:

Actual Church Bulletins

The 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 & 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."

A new loud speaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. in the church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Irving Beltson and Jessie were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Friendship Hall after the B.S.
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(1) Young I may be, but even young people are entitled to their opinions.
(2)Attempting to silence me doesn't hurt me, but the silencer.
(3) I must remain true to myself.