Winged being wearing a Fedora with a Press Pass stuck in the brim: So, Gabriel, have you got a few minutes to spare for some questions?
Gabriel: I'm not really in the mood right now.
Reporter: I understand your frustration but our readers would like to know why their relatives never arrived. Only you know the story. How about it, please?
Gabriel: Okay but this has to be brief. The Big Guy needs His report ASAP.
Reporter: What was your first sign things weren't going right?
Gabriel: Well, I planned a 'warm up toot' in the Antarctic but my lips got stuck to the frozen brass of the Final Trumpet.
Reporter: Like in "The Christmas Story"?
Gabriel: This has nothing to do with Sonny's Story.
Reporter: Sorry, please continue.
Gabriel: With my injured lips I couldn't hit the high notes like I'd have needed to so I went with a Pneumatic air horn attachment they sell at the Heavenly Goods Superstore.
Reporter: That should have made things all the more easy for you. What went wrong?
Gabriel: They've established air and noise quality levels as output from such devices and, had I blown the horn, I would have been breaking their laws. Not an example to be setting by a representative of the Almighty.
Reporter: What were your options then?
Gabriel: Well, I considered subcontracting the job.
Reporter: That would be a big bit of work for some lucky, may I say, Devil.
Gabriel: No not him. Heaven's got zoning laws against any of his work being accepted.
Reporter: Who then?
Gabriel: I phoned Grim Reaper, Inc. Asked if his crew of Death, Hades and the other Horsemen might be available and he said that the size of the job was way too big for them. They're only experienced in one at a time type deals. Hades mentioned that since pennies aren't made much anymore, there may not be enough for the ferryman to be paid, That's a Union job you know and they have to be paid the contracted rate.
Reporter: So, that's when you...
Gabriel: Yeah, I called the thing off and have scheduled a planning conference for next year to get a better handle on the thing.
Reporter: Thanks for your time and better get those lips tended too. They look sore.
Edited by mehaul (Fri Dec 21 2012 02:53 PM)
"...Tomorrow's come a long way to help you."
Tim Davis 'Your Saving Grace' Steve Miller Band (1969)
"...Yesterday's at least a mile back."
Dale Peters 'Dreaming in the Country' James Gang (1971)